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What's the best way to handle this?

mandalay_415mandalay_415
100 Comments
in Colorado-Denver
Some of you may remember the issues I've been having with future sister-in-law/BM. I'd finally come to terms that she's not going to change and to just try to ignore it to the best of my ability. However, last week things really took a turn for the worse. For reasons unbeknownst to FI and I, she is no longer speaking to me/us. Flat out ignoring. The correspondence I've been trying to have is not wedding related so I'm not asking her to do anything for me; it's just pleasantries, trying to be nice (sending her a birthday gift), etcetera. There really is no rationing with her we've all learned. I have no intentions of kicking her out of the wedding (considered it months ago) but what can I do to keep things from going WWIII at the wedding? Just worry about myself and let her dig her own hole?
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Re: What's the best way to handle this?

  • VAtoCOVAtoCO member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Mandy,I'm sorry that your SIL is acting like such a jerk!  The only behavior that we can control is our own.  So, in situations like this, I think you're right....just worry about yourself and let her do whatever it is she's gonna do.  Be nice and pleasant...take the high road.  I know it can be difficult but it will ensure that WWIII does not break out at your wedding, which is the last thing that you want.Good luck and keep us posted! 
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  • jforeman5jforeman5
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Mandy: I'm sorry she's still being so crappy. I think you are doing exactly the right thing by taking the high ground and just being pleasant to her without expecting anything in return. That's about all you can do. Some people are just determined to cause drama no matter what, and it sounds like she's one of them. Don't let her bad attitude get in the way of you and your FI/DH enjoying your wedding and new life together.
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  • Lauren5280Lauren5280 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    With 15 days until your wedding my first thought is that she might just not show but given that she is your FSIL family pressure will probably dictate that she be there. I'm thinking that you're on the right track with pleasantries and keeping her participation (read duties) to a minimum. A smile is hard to criticize so just keep smiling. Chances are you won't have a ton of interaction with her on that day anyway. You'll be too busy! Good luck!
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  • mandalay_415mandalay_415
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    She's FI/DH's sister-in-law so I guess she's mine too...bummer. ;) No, she'll be there...the entire in-law family is flying in for it. I'm trying to go the "better person" route: not responding to her snarky FB comments, sending out her birthday gifts (THAT was painful), etc. I wouldn't even be giving her a second thought were it not for her "involvement" in the wedding. And her involvement is basically nothing; I'm giving her no responsibilities/tasks other than stand up there, hold your flowers, say nothing. It does take some reminding on my part to take a deep breath, count to 10 and don't get physical! :)
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