Vent: Argument with FI!!

BreckBride09

TIA for listening to me vent...So FI and I are getting married at St. Malo's in Estes Park at 4pm next Sat. FI's family is Italian and loves the "everyone stand in a line at the altar" family photos. I asked photog about this and he's shot at the church before and says the lighting in the church is difficult for those sorts of pictures (because it tends to be dark in there as it's all stone), so if the lighting isn't good on the wedding day he'd rather take people outside to get soft, natural lighting on their faces and great pics of the faces. FI and I just got in a knock-down drag-out and basically his position is "We don't care if the lighting is bad, we want these photos at the altar." My position is "If the lighting is horrible and casting shadows on people's faces why not move it outside and get awesome family photos and not waste time taking pics when they won't turn out anyway?!"I have a feeling this might cause a fight on the wedding day -- what would you do?!

kellikathleen

So sorry to hear about your fight! Is there anyway you can do both? Maybe tell the photographer about the situation and then have him tell everyone that you will take 2-3 shots inside and then HE will take everyone outside for the rest. That way you are not the one telling folks what to do. Just blame the photographer if his family is mad! That way everyone gets what they want and you will only have 1-2 shady shots and the rest will be great! Good luck!!!

VAtoCO

Ugh!  Sorry that this has caused a fight with your FI!Definitely get it resolved now, so that it doesn't cause a fight/tension on your wedding day.I agree with PP.  Perhaps a compromise of some inside and some outside pictures is the best resolution to this situation.  I know it will take longer but, hopefully, it will result in both sides being happy.  I also agree with "blaming" it on the photographer, make him do the dirty work :)I'm jealous of your location...St. Malo is gorgeous. 

lap256

Do both - you never know how the inside ones will come out. Our photographer cautioned that our church was on the dark side, but our photos ended up being fine (he used a longer exposure, and a tripod to stabilize the camera).I'm very jealous, I love st. malo's!! We couldn't trim our guestlist enough to have it there...

Lauren5280

I would breathe and realize that you're both under a considerable amount of stress right now with everything so close. I would let this go for now and allow the photographer to take the lead with the pictures on the wedding day. You'll be amazed at how busy you'll be and how allowing the professionals to "take over" will help you. Chances are this won't come up again and if it does, just take both. Who cares if the pictures won't come out if it makes your FI happy?

jforeman5

I agree with all the PPs, do both! If you can stay super organized and let all your family members know the photo taking schedule, it shouldn't take too long to take some inside, then move outside and take more. I used to be a photographer's assistant and we did this with almost every wedding. We are in a similar situation when it comes to those "traditional" formal pics, I hate them and FI and his family must have them. So we are spliting it up too. This is definitely not worth you and your FI fighting over, you both can get the photos you want. GL!

canary11

I am sorry that you're fighting over this, but I def think you should compromise! Do some in and some out. It seems as though he wants them more for the "tradition" of alter photos than for the quality.

steffenfam

I agree, just go with the flow and take a couple of photos inside.  I went to a wedding last summer at St. Malo and we all stood outside along the east wall of the church for group shots.  Don't worry, everything will turn out great.  Beautiful church, enjoy your day!!

mandalay_415

Ditto to all the PP's. This isn't worth fighting over. Trust me, I've had plenty of "not worth fighting over" fights in the last 12 months! Try and do both; just let your photographer know that the inside shots are what FI and his family want even though you're aware of the lighting. So what if they don't turn out? Your photographer doesn't have to put them in his portfolio. If you can get your photog to do both, at least you and FI will both be happy, regardless of how the pictures look.

me2rean

Look at from his point of view. If he is like most men, he probably hasn't had much input on the wedding. He chimes in about something he would like done, and you shoot him down. While his idea may not be the best, will waste time, or might not lead to good pictures, I would let him win this battle. Just schedule some more time to get the shots outside you want.

canary11

I agree with me2rean. My fi does not do much of the nitty-gritty planning (picking colors, flowers, decor) but he is passionate about a few things (table assignments, bm/gm pairing, picking tuxes, and rehearsal dinner), so I just let him have his way, I really want him to feel that he helped with the planning.