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May 2010 Weddings

So confused - declaration of consent versus vows?

Help, someone!

Does anyone know the difference between the declaration of consent versus the vows?  Do I need both in my ceremony? 

I thought the 'I Do' part was the consent and obviously the vows are the 'repeat after me' part (since we aren't writing our own), but I'm confused if I need them both and where they go in the service timeline.

Has anyone planned this out yet?





Re: So confused - declaration of consent versus vows?

  • Our pastor at church explained this to us in our premarital counseling. Mind you this is a methodist church that we are getting married in. She says a christian ceremony you are really asked twice if you want to marry. The declaration of intent is done prior to the exchange of vows. It is done at the beginning of the ceremony incase one of you said "no" then the ceremony would end. I found this online I hope it helps you:

    The declaration of intent is sometimes called the charge to the couple.  Not all ministers use it.  Basically, it is a time when the minister says something like, "Matthew, is it your intention to take Monika as your wife...."  The bride is asked the same question.  The couple then say "I do" and then the minister goes on with either the sermonette or the vows, depending on the denomination involved.  The declaration usually occurs early in the service so that, if one person said "I don't," the service would conclude at that point.  It is a rather old fashioned term that was used to be sure that the couple were marrying of their own free will.

    Here is a few examples of a declaration of intent:

    This declaration can be one of the key parts of the wedding and could be considered to be part of the vows or promises. Notice the language focuses on what you "will", not on what you "do". This is very deliberate. It is meant to remind you that your "Will" is key to your relationship.

    Normally it is after the declaration that the "blessing of the families" (or the "giving away") is done. The vows then follow.


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