bachelorette party etiquette?

RobotCake

ok.. I think bachelorette parties are a little cheesy, but I secretly want one anyway   I'm not sure how to go about asking my bridesmaids about it.  Should I wait and see if they decide to throw one for me, or let them know what I want?  I'm worried that they won't really be into it, and I know that they can't afford to spend all that much.  Is it ok to plan my own party (and cover some of it financially)?  Or should I just accept that I may not have one at all and get over it?

Clearly I have no idea how this is supposed to work!  My fiance is lucky -- his best man has been planning his bachelor party for a while.

Mrs.Simpson2010

Are your bridesmaids in the area?  If so, I would assume they will put something together, even if it isn't an elaborate event.  Wait it out and see what happens, if you are 2 months out and nothing, invite your girls out for a night on the town, no need to even call it your "bachelorette".

PhillyGal34

do you have a Maid/matron of honor? I would just be honest and say that you want one!

TNMurray

I dont think that there is anything wrong with telling your bridal party what you want. I was in a wedding and the bride said what she wanted and didn't want. Also offer to you MOH that you have no problem HELPING to finance something fancy, if thats what you want. If you want something small then you shouldn't need to finance anything.

miguelhilary2010

I'm pretty sure that "etiquitte" dictates that you dont ask for parties, and everyone who is invited to the parties should be invited to the wedding.  I dont agree with that, but you asked

IMO, nicely ask if a bach party is in the works.  Blame it on your schedule or something.  If nothing is being planned, then just plan a night out with everyone.  You dont have to make it expensive and elaborate.  If you feel your BMs may be avoiding it because of financial constraints, offer to pay for yourself.  You never know, maybe they're planning to kidnap you like that guy this week in the Chart House restaurant.

ooodsie

We had a lot of out of towners in our wedding party, so we brought it up ourselves to our local people that we were thinking it might be best for just do a low-key going out to dinner thing.  Ultimately we let them plan it, but we brought the topic up because we didn't know if they were going to or not - and wanted to let them know we were okay with something small scale and co-ed since so many people were not local.  I dont think it can hurt to mention it that way to your maid of honor.  

RobotCake

Everyone is in the area, so that's not an issue.  I definitely wouldn't want to ask them to pay for a big night out for me.  I think if they don't bring it up soon (the wedding is in 2 1/2 months), I'll see if I can at least get them together for a girls' night out.