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Catholics that what to have a ceremony outside the church

Me and my fiance are looking for a reverend or father that does will marry us outside the church.  We are having our reception and ceremony at the Talamore Country Club in Ambler, PA.  If anyone can give me some names, that would be great.

Re: Catholics that what to have a ceremony outside the church

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    mandy122782mandy122782 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I am getting married in a Catholic church and my understanding is that a Catholic priest will not marry anyone outside of the church setting. I think you would have to get another officant and then get your marriage blessed by the church. I could be wrong but that is how I think it is.

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    edited December 2011
    I am 99% sure that mandy is right.
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    edited December 2011
    It depends on the priest, really, but in my experience... mandy is right.  The Catholics are very particular about the ceremony of marriage.
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    edited December 2011
    >>The Catholics are very particular about the ceremony of marriage. <<


    It is because it is a sacrament not just a ceremony.


    Another thing you are not aloud to do is write your own vows.
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    edited December 2011

    Different churches are funny about things, too.  For example, my church will not allow the Flower Girl to drop anything whatsoever in the aisle.  Also no bubbles or rice at our church.  They don't want bird to choke on the rice, or the bride to slip on the rice.  And they're also worried that all the bubbles will turn the steps in front of church into a slip-n-slide. 

    And nicole--I meant to sacrament of marriage, not ceremony.  I'm Catholic.  Raised Catholic, went to Catholic school (K to college), and I'm getting married in a Catholic Church.

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    edited December 2011
    I'm getting married at Talamore too!

    I know the interfaith clergy network http://www.interfaithclergynetwork.com/ has retired Catholic priests that will officiate ceremonies outside of the church. The Catholic Church does require that for a marriage to be recognized, you need to have a ceremony performed in a church.  You may need to have a separate ceremony IN the church in order to have it recognized.  You should probably call your local church and ask.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_catholics-ceremony-outside-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:9376b8b6-39ca-46a5-bb3e-b3a98b1ea50fPost:d00e3b80-4f61-47ca-8690-668722f1b971">Re: Catholics that what to have a ceremony outside the church</a>:
    [QUOTE] And nicole--I meant to sacrament of marriage, not ceremony.  I'm Catholic.  Raised Catholic, went to Catholic school (K to college), and I'm getting married in a Catholic Church.
    Posted by RecoveringActor[/QUOTE]

    gotcha.

    Other things we were not aloud to do were isle runner, for liability reasons and unity candle, it comes from Protestant tradition or so I have been told.
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    edited December 2011
    That's funny, because our church is uber conservative, and they suggested the unity candle BUT both parents have to light the candle, not just the mothers.  They WILL NOT say "Who gives this woman away?" or anything like that at all because "that's what the Protestants say."  Our priest got all kinds of fired up about it, which was funny because we never brought it up!
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    edited December 2011
    Hmmm come to think of it our priest didn't say "Who gives this woman away?" either!

    The priest who married us is not from our parish, he used to be but he was moved. He was going to allow us to do what ever we wanted, it is the new pastor who is making all of the changes. But we still cut all the extra so save some money!
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    edited December 2011
    We were allowed to have a unity candle because it was outside of our home parish.  Our priest said inside his own parish he is not allowed to use a unity candle, but in another parish he could, haha.  So we did.  And only the mothers lit it.  The archdiocese of Phila has a huge statement on their webpage though about their disapproval of the unity candle.  
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    edited December 2011
    I never heard about finding a retired priest to do it outside the church.  Wonder why that's okay...my understanding too is that you have to get married in church with a nupitual ceremony for it to be recognized as a marriage in the catholic church.  Any other way is just a civil marriage only recognized by the state.  Can I ask why you don't want a church ceremony?
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    edited December 2011
    The Unity Candle is not allowed in some protestant churches, either.  There is no Biblical reference to it, which is why. 

    "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" comes from the Transfer of Authority.

    Some Catholics I know have done the God's Knot (http://www.godsknot.com/CordOfThreeStrands.aspx) instead of the Unity Candle, since it has Biblical reference.

    Ditto everything Mandy said.  Now, that being said, my cousin was able to be married at the golf course where they had planned on doing the ceremony, by the Catholic priest- as long as they moved the ceremony "under a roof", which they did.  They moved it under the porch roof, which was interesting but fulfilled what they were told by the Church, but you may want to check some more into it with your parish/home priest.
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    lynzy333lynzy333 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Actually Mandy is not 100% correct and if you have looked into the Interfaith Clergy network, you would have found out that Interfaith marriages/marriages outside of the Catholic Church are allowed and recognized as long as the proper steps take place.  The key part in the process is  acquiring the dispensation from cannon law, which are the rules that oversee the Catholic marriage. 

    My fiance and I are getting married at the same place we are having our reception, not in a church, by a priest and a rabbi, and it is being recognized by all religious affiliations. 

    Wish you the best of luck!!!!  I know this part of everything can be stressful and frustrating!
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    Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our priest told us that Unity candle and the aisle runner come from Protestant tradition, not Catholic that's why we were not allowed to use one. Also, he said that he's seen too many brides get a heel caught in the runner and it's not pretty lol.   Our priest didn't ask who was giving away the bride either.  I got married in the same church as Nicole but we went with a current priest since we are not originally from this parish.  We've been parishioners of this church since 2005 since that was when we moved into this section of the city.  We also had a priest from the Byzantine faith there to double officiate since that's the rite DH was baptized in.  It's all Catholic though.
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