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shower rsvp....

So the RSVP deadline is Monday for my shower. My mom does not want to call people to see if they are coming, my thought is you should get a YES or NO from these people, just like a wedding, right?  Half of the people did not RSVP yet. I can't really get involved through my mom since she wants me in the dark about it all.... so what should I do? Thanks!

Re: shower rsvp....

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    edited December 2011
    Can your MOH call/text/FB some of them for a response?  They definitely should follow up to get a head count.
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    LadyJ10LadyJ10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You're so sweet to worry about this for your shower! Don't worry too much, since you're not hosting, you really aren't responsible for the guests. Unless it's a plated affair, they probably have some wiggle room with the numbers, and those hosting can reach out. If you want to help, you can offer email addresses/phone numbers for the people they invited if they need to follow up!
    And they're the five best friends that anyone could have, the five best friends that anyone could have! Photobucket
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    edited December 2011
    Lady- it is a plated affair, and I know all about the shower now thanks to stupid friends. So... my mom and MOH said they would assume no. I was told never ASSUME, by my mother... so she is contradicting herself.

    I will see how MOH wants to handle it, call, text, email... whatever. I am  kinda shocked half did not respond yet. I guess I will be thinking about this too a  lot after my wedding invites go out! LOL 
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    amy727amy727 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would make sure you get an answer from everyone.  I would go with MH's suggestion.
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    Northstar1808Northstar1808 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I agree with LadyJ don't worry about it. Your mom/BMs/MOH needs to call them. My mom and MOH called everyone that didn't RSVP multiple times. Even DH called his cousin who never RSVPed and never showed up. In the end there were a few that never RSVPed and my MOH told the venue they were maybes so ordered a few extra plates but I don't think she was ever charged for it.

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    LadyJ10LadyJ10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I totally agree with you that assuming no could lead to big problems!

    <Deleted snarky comments about moms contradicting themselves, I couldn't make it sound sweet/nice without coming off scarcastic />
    And they're the five best friends that anyone could have, the five best friends that anyone could have! Photobucket
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    edited December 2011
    Tell them to wait until Monday to follow up though because some people like to wait until the very last minute to respond.  I don't know if its procrastination or if they want to make sure they're still available....
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    edited December 2011
    <<Reminds me to email my mom info so she can RSVP no for me to a baby shower.  RSVP due Sat.  Only given a phone number, I am not calling from London.>>

    So yeah as MH said they need to wait until Monday.  
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    edited December 2011
    NCV who invites someone from overseas to a baby shower? That is insane

    I know I won't have her contact anyone until Monday of course! I am just wowed at how 50% did not RSVP yet! LOL  And I would need to give her the contact info anyways, she only has addresses, nothing else. 

    LadyJ- haha!
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    edited December 2011
    My mom said half the people waited until the day after the RSVP deadline to call her. Give it some time.
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    Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you should do anything. You're planning the wedding so worry about the wedding.  Let the people planning the shower worry about the shower.

    Also, I wouldn't be concerned just yet.  Maybe a bunch of people will RSVP over the weekend.  It's not over yet so don't jump the gun assuming that they won't RSVP b/c you'll just drive yourself crazy.

    If it gets to the point you don't hear from everyone by Wednesday of next week, your mom or MOH should contact the guests.  I agree with your mom's old rule of never assuming.  As for her new rule of not caring, she sounds like my mom.
    Photobucket
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_shower-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:97a62342-dafb-4b0f-947c-75bbfc734957Post:26316a4f-3179-48a9-9669-432941aac0fc">Re: shower rsvp....</a>:
    [QUOTE]My mom said half the people waited until the day after the RSVP deadline to call her. Give it some time.
    Posted by jennyinyellow[/QUOTE] Yea true. And I would not be the one contacting of course! I just need to get her the phone numbers of people

    Oh and my lovely friend that got mad about what day the shower is on still has not RSVPed ..cuz she 'did it the day after the invite got to her' LIAR! I really wanna just tell her not to bother coming. Pissing me off. Selfish people suck balls.
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    edited December 2011
    When did she send out the shower invites? Did she share that with you? Just wondering... as we didn't have mail service on monday... Although I don't know if it makes a difference here.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_shower-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:97a62342-dafb-4b0f-947c-75bbfc734957Post:1266a526-e848-4580-9c44-86fef362b366">Re: shower rsvp....</a>:
    [QUOTE]When did she send out the shower invites? Did she share that with you? Just wondering... as we didn't have mail service on monday... Although I don't know if it makes a difference here.
    Posted by paprika28[/QUOTE] Sent them last monday.  So it is not like they didn't get it yet. :)
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_shower-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:97a62342-dafb-4b0f-947c-75bbfc734957Post:0206e57c-6081-4a54-8151-c8432c968388">Re: shower rsvp....</a>:
    [QUOTE]NCV who invites someone from overseas to a baby shower? That is insane 
    Posted by Bride_to_be_2011[/QUOTE]

    <div>It's nice to be included, but there is no way I can go so I'm not sure why I was invited.  I'm sending a gift, my mom is buying it and taking to the shower.  </div>
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    edited December 2011
    Since having a wedding, I try and be considerate when I get invitations and respond quickly. But sometimes I don't.  Sometimes it sits on my fridge until I go "crap, I have to respond".  And I may be in the minority, and totally flamed for this, but showers aren't really that much fun unless its YOUR shower.  Otherwise its a long day, even when its your very best friend in the world.  I would cut your friend a little slack.  She's not crapping all over your wedding, she's just having a life. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_shower-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:97a62342-dafb-4b0f-947c-75bbfc734957Post:96ef22bb-b70a-446e-9156-1b13bad30ac8">Re: shower rsvp....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: shower rsvp.... : It's nice to be included, but there is no way I can go so I'm not sure why I was invited.  I'm sending a gift, my mom is buying it and taking to the shower.  
    Posted by NCV2[/QUOTE] Well of course it is nice to be included but it is not like you can  just hop on a plane, and that is so lovely you are still sending a gift, you are a sweet considerate kind person.
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    edited December 2011
    Well thanks B2B.  

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    Amerbutt81Amerbutt81 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    >>And I may be in the minority, and totally flamed for this, but showers aren't really that much fun unless its YOUR shower.  Otherwise its a long day, even when its your very best friend in the world.  I would cut your friend a little slack.  She's not crapping all over your wedding, she's just having a life<<

    Cara, I could not have said it better.

    That being said... I will attend to all outstanding RSVPs when I get home.  Promise.

    [Edit]

    I couldn't help but add my alternative answer:

    What kind of biitch hosts a wedding shower on Superbowl Sunday?  :-)
    Mrs. JEGs
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    October 1, 2011

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    edited December 2011
    Cara - I get that but did you know what she did to me. I can FB you to tell you why she sucks and is on top of my shitlist right now.
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    edited December 2011
    I know that she told you the location of the shower?  Was there more?  Did she tell you by accident? You said yesterday that you were upset that she wasn't more upset that it slipped.  Someone slipped the location of my shower to me about a week before the date.  I thought it was funny that I went so long without anyone telling me.  I didn't even tell anyone that she had let it slip, I let everyone think it was a surprise. (I knew the date, not the place).

    If there is more, feel free to FB me.  I'm heading out for a bit but will read it later.  It just seems, from my outsiders opinion, that you are being pretty harsh on her.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    edited December 2011
    I FBed you and you should see now why she is really on my shitlist :)  Everyone else I told the story to agrees with me.   I also knew the date not the place, she she was botherd that I knew the date to begin with so it was crazy for her to let it 'slip'. I told her i wanted it to be a surprise where it was, and she totally blew that for me. I would be so so so sorry if I did that to someone, and would say more than 'all I can do is say sorry'.  That is just me though.
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