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August 2010 Weddings

Advice from my fav knotties

You guys are my fav knotties on here. Always giving good, nice, constructive advice........FI's family is 80% out of town. None of the out of town guests were invited to the eng. party that is in 2 weeks, we didn't think it fair to ask them to come. It is just an eng. party, I know.......I also know that it is really upsetting to see FI this way. Of the 39 invites, 12 were to his local family/close friends and of that....maybe 2 people are coming. Some due to family drama we were hoping was behind us which is the most upsetting part. Some of his family have accused us of not "fixing" what happened, so we took the first step and invited them all (being the bigger person and setting all aside) and all of them declined. And some just can't make it. Regardless I can tell it really bothers FI that it is mostly my family. I have a close large family (all local) and I figured this would be an issue. Plus, most if not all of his family is at least 3000 miles away. Including his entire wedding party....I want to help him in some way......find other people to invite, something. But I don't want him to think I am making a huge deal of it. Even right now though I can see that "i am annoyed and hurt" look on his face and he won't admit to it.He always goes out of his way to make sure I am happy and I do the same, but this time....I am just not sure what to do.PS...for the wedding we have an even split, 50 and 50 of which 35 and 35 should come, so I am sure this won't be an issue then.Thanks.
BabyFetus Ticker

Re: Advice from my fav knotties

  • Maybe it's b/c it's Sat. afternoon, but I'm not sure what you're asking for advice on? If FI's family and best friends are all too far away to come to an engagement party, then I'm not sure there's much you can do about that. I guess one option is to not have the engagement party, or another is to make it way smaller so he's not so outnumbered. If you're asking for advice on how to patch things up, it's hard to say without knowing why the family's so upset. Generally, though, it's easiest to patch things up with people just by moving forward - invite them over or out to dinner and reestablish those connections, don't rehash old stuff and keep brining it up, just get back to doing what you like to do with them.
  • If his family can't come I don't understand why he would be hurt. You made the effort to invite them, if they can't make the trip there is nothing you can do.
  • Sorry about that...the advice I was looking for was how to cheer FI up.The family situation we have done our part and can't do anymore besides groveling at their feet for something we really had no part in. We are not upset that they are being childesh.I guess it is more of the fact that FI does all he can to make sure I am happy when something is wrong and I wanted to do the same for him. Find a way to figure something out and get more of his family here.He is going to invite some friends, not sure if they will come. It is just a bummer because the majority of everyone he knows is OOT. :-(Thanks girls.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Ah, then in that case, I'd just advise you to make sure you don't abandon him on the day of with lots of ppl he doesn't know.  Maybe ask your good friends who have fun boyfriends and husbands to make sure to spend some time with him.  If you see he's been cornered by someone unpleasant, rescue him.Short of that, I'm not sure there's much you can do.  It's a bummer, but it's just one party.  Good luck!
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