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August 2010 Weddings

Poll: The In Laws

Do you girls get along with your future in laws? Are they helping w/the wedding? Today is my b-day and FBIL just called me to wish me happy b-day, chat & contribute to my apple store gift card. It was so nice & unexpected. We never really talked before, so I was very happy when he called -- it made me feel more apart of the family :) FI's family is also helping out with the wedding -- they are the best. I already feel apart of the family :)
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Re: Poll: The In Laws

  • Yes! I love my future in laws. I feel so lucky to be so close to them. There are two step parents in the picture and I love them just as much. I always get birthday/christmas presents and I'm always invited to all parties and cookouts. I feel very wanted So glad that you feel apart of the family! That's very important :)
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    Expecting baby #1: May 17, 2013
  • I love them! FI only has one older brother and he's really cool and I love his new wife - they just got married August 1st. She's awesome! Today she sent me the guest list she used for FBIL's family, already set up in the labels, so I don't have to get it from Darren. I'm so excited to be a part of their family. I'm not sure how much they'll end up helping... they are very country and my family is very city/suburban so we're a lot more high maintenance, but they're already helping more than I expected.
  • FI's parents are very nice people.   They (and his whole family) have been very welcoming to me our whole relationship and always tell me how excited they are that I am becoming their daughter in law.  His mom even tries to learn a little sign language to communicate with me better.However...FI is an only child, and they struggle with the whole "letting go" thing still even though FI is now 26.  They can be suffocating sometimes.  They are also very very religious...2 weeks after we got engaged, they mailed me 2 books and a DVD about Natural Family Planning (they used to teach a class on it for their church).  I had to send them an e-mail explaining that prefered method of BC is a PRIVATE decision that we would be making without their input, thankyouverymuch.  Needless to say they are noooot happy that FI and I are living together, but I think they realize that they can't change it and have learned to just accept it. They are taking care of the rehershal dinner for us...they're coming to IN for Thanksgiving to scout out a place to have it. 
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  • FILs are awesome. Totally supportive and sweet. They're pitching in for the welcome dinner, and helping with the HM. We are very lucky. I feel like I've already joined the family - they are just great to me. FBIL is best friends with FI, and we get along. I encourage FI to make sure to spend one-on-one time with him b/c it's important that they still do their own thing together. But they regularly invite me to join them eathing wings and watching football, so I'm happy. :)
  • LP -- OMG I would die if my FIL sent me that kinda stuff!!! I mean I know they don't think all we do is hold hands & kiss, but I think that all falls under the private/do not discuss category. Luckily no one has asked us about it b/c I would be extremely uncomfortable responding. =P
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  • i LOVE my inlaws!!! FI has 2 younger brothers, and he is the oldest of all his cousins and first to get married! also his family on his dad's side has no girls.. so i'm kind of the first girl! that being said i'm like the daughter they never had! we are fortunate enough to get some help with the wedding from them, as they are extremely generous people. me and FI mom are very close. she was calling me her daughter WAY before we got engaged.
    Meagan and Travis
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    BFP 2/27/11 Missed M/C 4/2/11
    BFP 6/8/11 Delilah Rae born February 17, 2012
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  • Tiny - I pretty much wanted to die.  We weren't living together at the time and I think they were holding on to hope that we just might actually follow their religious beliefs regarding sex before marriage.  Even now, I wonder sometimes if they seriously still think we don't have sex even though we share a bed...but they've never directly asked, thank goodness.
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  • Haha I almost had a mini panick attack last yr after me and my fi moved in together. I was in the car with his aunt, cousin & mom on Black Friday and his aunt turned to me and said "Mandy can I ask you a question?" she pauses "A personal quesion?" My heart skipped a beat (I was so afraid she was going to ask if we were having sex lol) Instead she asked if me and my FI ever fought lol!
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  • I don't get to spend too much time with FIs family because he (and much of his family) lives in Baltimore, while I live in Chicago. I usually see at least his mom or his dad and step mom, or both every time I'm in town. I definitely like them and get along with them and they seem to like me and always include me in things and get me gifts for holidays and things, but I don't feel 100% totally comfortable like family with them just yet. His mom doesn't really have money to contribute towards the wedding, and his dad has not offered any help (although at one point he said he would help, so he may offer something later). His aunt (who I actually haven't even met yet, she lives in North Carolina) is letting us use her timeshare (which has options all over the world) for our honeymoon!!
  • My FILs are great. I really lucked out cause the are like the nicest people, they treat me great. He has one brother and 3 sisters. I get along with his sisters like they are my own. They help me a lot with the wedding. I can always go to them for input. Just recently we went dress shopping and we had a great time b/c some of the dresses I had them try on were really ugly :)
  • His dad & step mom are very excited. at times they can get annoying b/c they have very different beliefs than us & are pushing for the wedding THEY want in some aspects. they are very welcoming and say they consider me family now. his mom & step-dad on the other hand nearly had a heart attack when we told them we were getting married. we get the vibe she's not too happy. she's never been a big fan of mine. they are all helping out w/ the wedding in different ways.
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  • I love mine.  They are super sweet and are throwing us an additional reception in FIs home town.  They live in the midwest so we dont get to see them as aften as I would like but I still love them and hope they love me too. 
  • My inlaws are OK.  His dad is very laid back and just sort of goes with the flow while his mom is VERY old fashioned and not happy about the fact that we are living together before marriage.  Now he has an aunt and uncle that I absolutley adore, we hang out with them a lot and have a lot of fun with them.  He has two brothers, one is 31 and acts like he's 16 and the other is 22 and acts more like 30 so that is the one that we are closer to and double date with him and his girlfriend.  He has a HUGE extneded family and living on a small island, we have a lot of family gatherings so all in all, his family is great and I can't wait to become a part of it!
  • MY FILs are great! We get along really well and his parents are very much involved in the wedding, both financially and helping plan. It's also really great that my parents and FI's parents get along so well too. We recently had a BBQ and everyone got along just fine!
  • My FIL's won't have anything to do with us unless we live by their rules and to be quite honest being over the age of 35, owning my own home, raising 3 children sort of lends me to the not having others tell me how to live. We all got along fine until my FI moved into my house last January. Well by March they were pissed that we were living in sin and not engaged. There's been virtually no interaction since then. We got engaged in May, BTW. So I don't forsee us having much to do with them in the future and as of now they are NOT invited to the wedding.
  • I love my FIL's they are so much fun and down-to-earth!! The weekend after we got engaged we visited them and FMIL waited until like the second day to ask me anything about the wedding planning because she didn't want to "seem pushy". Plus when I had asked her for their guest list (because I knew she'd been working on it) she told me to let her know if or what they need to do to help!
  • Mandy, Regarding this: "Mandy can I ask you a question?" she pauses "A personal quesion?" My standard response before they ask the question is "sure, but I reserve the right to not answer it." LOL
  • My FI comes from a quasi-dysfunctional family.  (His words, not mine!).  Unfortunately, his father passed away in 2003.  But his mom and older sister are a bit eccentric. They can talk non-stop for hours!  I think they are afraid of silence.  And his mom doesn't speak a word of English!Fortunately, FIL's live in Germany and I don't have to see them that often.  But, I am sounding really mean because they seem to like me a lot and are very nice to me!  FMIL sends money on my birthday and has given me pretty jewelry from her own collection.  And I talk to his sis on the phone sometimes.  It's just that I'm sorta glad that they don't live near us because they are a bit strange (and FI agrees!).  I love them though!AND I'm sad to say that FMIL won't be able to attend our wedding.  =(!!!  She has a heart condition and her doctor has banned her from traveling (especially from Germany to California).  FI and I are very sad about that =(
  • MY IL's are okay. My FI is very close to his family but I have a hard time with them. His dad is very reserved and does not say much to me but it is just his personality. I think he felt threatened that FI was not spending as much time with him as before but things have gotten better. My FMIL drives me nuts. She is very opinionated and does not think we should be getting married because we are too young. We will both be 25. She had a bad first marriage and does not believe in it anymore. She has offered her help in the wedding planning but she hates my ideas and keeps trying to change everything. My FI has spoken to her about this several times but she just ignores him. They could be so much worse though. They live 3 hours away so I do not have much interaction with them.
  • My in-laws are fantastic!! They are my second family!!!
  • My Inlaws were the one that intriduced my Fi and I. So I have a very close bond with them. i have know my Mother in law for ten year. We are more like sister. She is great.
  • I am soooo jealous! My FFIL isn't overly warm and fuzzy to me. It's frusterating because my FI and I have been together 7 years, and there has always been distance b/w us. My family LOVES my FI and has always treated him like one of the family. My FI is the youngest of 4 boys of a (so called) tight knit 100% Italian family. His parents don't think that ANYONE is good enough for thier boys. His two oldest brothers are already married, and they openly bash them in front of me. I can only imagine then what they say about me to them! They supposedly give us their "blessing" to get married, but yet refuse to talk about wedding details. My parents asked them to come over to dinner soon after our engagement, and everytime me or my mother brought up wedding stuff his parents went mute!! I was so devestated! I sent his mom an email a week after we were engaged (6/19) about getting me a guest list, and she still wont give me one. I really hope that they can loosen up a bit a realize how wonderful it would be to have a great relationship with each other. So to anyone our there who has the full support and are welcomed by their FFIL, feel lucky!
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  • I feel very lucky to have my FIL's, since they live close by I see them more than my parents.  I have come to know them really well.  They were so excited about the engagement that they threw us an e-party last fall.When I first met them it took time. They are not as warm and affectionate as my parents, but they have been super supportive and welcoming to me, and really make me feel like part of the family.  Fi has a sister who I get along with really well, she is one of my BM's!At first FI's parents were not going to contribute to the wedding, but they have since decided to help us out and do the rehearsal dinner, contribute part of the wedding cost, and are providing us with air fare for our honeymoon!  My parents are primarily paying for the wedding, so they didn't need to do all of that, and I am just honored that they want to help out.
  • I love my FIL's. I am super close with his two sisters and that is part of the reason why they are in the wedding. His parents are divorced and we are much closer with his mom than his dad. She is the best FMIL ever! She is a ball of fun and is really down to earth (yet she still has a really solid foundation of values). His whole family kept pestering us before we were engaged about when we were going to get married. Finally we are and now they all couldn't be more thrilled! We're not very close with his dad, it's kind of a complicated relationship. However, the several times we have hung out, he seemed to really like me and was genuinely happy for us. Now he keeps asking us when we're giving him some grand babies. I told him "one thing at a time please." I'm glad you feel welcomed too! It's a great way to start off your marriage.
    [url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/31bd4e]BFP Chart[/url]


    BFP 7/25/11 EDD 3/31/12 ~ A was born 3/6/12 8lbs2oz


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  • Eh, well I've always gotten along with both FI's parents.They just got divorced last summer so its been awkward since then. There's a whole lot of crap now because of it (even though his parents get along real well) and FI's mom recently told us she will not come to the wedding if we invite his grandmother (FI's dad's stepmom). I'm appauled at this because I'm close to his nana too. I know she's going through a lot and she may not really mean it but its definitely strained our relationship. I try to let it go for now, since the wedding is next summer, hoping she'll realize how shes being. She's always been welcoming, she just does some things I don't agree with regarding how she treats FI and men in general. FI's dad is a sweetheart.I don't know if either will be contributing, I'm letting FI address that. (I'm not touching it with a ten foot pole :)
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