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Cairnwood

I was just invited to a wedding at Cairnwood (I think). My fiance is staying with his parents while we save and the invitation was addressed to his parents and family. What's the most tactful way to ask who the invite includes? Also, the invitation doesn't give me much in the way of how formal the reception is. I know Cairnwood is gorgeous and elegant. The ceremony is at 4pm at Cairnwood. How formal should I dress for this wedding?

Any help on the invitation and the dress would be great.

Thanks

Re: Cairnwood

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    edited December 2011
    The dress would be formal if it's at 4pm at Cairnwood.  

    That was a dumb way to address the invites!  Note to everyone: WHO does family include?  Uncles, aunts, 4th cousins visiting from Europe?  Don't make this mistake.

    OP- whose wedding is it, someone who knows FI is engaged?  I think FIL should call and ask.  
    "I'm so sorry, but the invite said and family and I just wanted to make sure my son's FI Kristen is included.  Since they are planning a wedding as well they know FI are invited, but we just wanted to make sure since you didn't put names on the invite."  
    Which is totally passage aggressive, so you can take that or leave it.  
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    KristinD49KristinD49 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yea its my finace's cousin. They grew up like brothers but have grown apart over the years. Its just silliness. Thanks for the advice.
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    edited December 2011
    FI didn't get why I am not addressing them as "and family".

    I am pretty sure I will still get phone calls that ask "can cousins babymomma/babydaddy come?"
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    KristinD49KristinD49 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    On the outside envelope should be "and family." The inside should list who that includes. On the one we received for his cousin's wedding the inside envelope was blank and the rsvp card doesn't have a "number attending" line.
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    edited December 2011
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