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Help/Advice needed

So my brothers wedding is Sept. 24th, and I'm due (by my calculations Oct. 14th although my OB is keeping it at the 9th). So that puts me about three weeks after his wedding. DH and I are in it.

My mom commented that brothers wife is really worried that I'm basically going to go into labor and have the baby the day of her wedding, and no one is going to go to her wedding.

I'm trying so hard to keep the focus on her/really help her sister with the bridal shower... make sure my mom plans the baby shower far enough away from both her shower and the wedding, so focus is on her etc. I guess I just, I want to make her feel the most comfortable I can about me not "stealing" her thunder by this baby... but also allow myself to be excited . The chances of me going into labor 3 weeks early are pretty slim... idk what to do.

Re: Help/Advice needed

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    edited December 2011

    I think you're doing things right.  If you do go into labor at their wedding, it's not your fault.  The baby is going to come at his/her own time, you can't really control that.  As long as you keep doing what you are doing, focusing on her during wedding stuff that's all you can do.
    It's not like you planned to get pregnant to purposely be due around her wedding.


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    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP. You're doing everything right. It's an unusual situation, but not a totally unique one. I'm sure she's just having nerves right now and is worried about losing her day. That said, you deserve your excitement too! Maybe sit down and talk with her about the unlikeliness of you going into labor on the day of the wedding? (Or giggle about what a funny story it would make...) Good luck!
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    edited December 2011
    I think it's nice that you're being so considerate, but you're allowed to be excited too!   The baby will come when it comes; if it happens before or on the day of the wedding, what are you going to do, keep your knees together? Whatever happens, happens.

    I think that you're sweet for trying to make things all about your SIL, but you should be allowed to be happy and excited as well. 

    FWIW, SIL#1 has a baby 2 weeks before SIL#2.  SIL#2 was so excited about getting a nephew that she didn't care how close to the wedding the birth was. 
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the others, I think you are being very thoughtful and considerate.

    I'm not sure if this is something that would help ease her mind, but I think it would help me if I were her. It might be useful to have a plan *just in case* baby does come on that exact day. Obviously you and DH would be at the hospital (or wherever you are giving birth), but what would your parents do? If I were in this position, I think I would want my parents to go to my sister's wedding or at least for most of it, and then meet us at the hospital after. It might also make a difference to you if DH's family is close by. I know it's unlikely that baby will come that soon, but if this is a genuine fear of the bride's it might help her to know what people are doing or where they will be just in case it happens.

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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_helpadvice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:ad42afc4-5b33-43d0-84f8-f5acca06643fPost:c2999a0d-da14-47d0-b21c-d0cbb9bfbd00">Re: Help/Advice needed</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with the others, I think you are being very thoughtful and considerate. I'm not sure if this is something that would help ease her mind, but I think it would help me if I were her. It might be useful to have a plan *just in case* baby does come on that exact day. Obviously you and DH would be at the hospital (or wherever you are giving birth), but what would your parents do? If I were in this position, I think I would want my parents to go to my sister's wedding or at least for most of it, and then meet us at the hospital after. It might also make a difference to you if DH's family is close by. I know it's unlikely that baby will come that soon, but if this is a genuine fear of the bride's it might help her to know what people are doing or where they will be just in case it happens.
    Posted by rachelk456[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>My mom already told her the only people that would miss her wedding would be DH and me, everyone else would just come to the hospital the next day, so she knows. I think she is just a little bummed. 

    </div>
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone.

    Personally I am the type of person who thinks it would be awesome if my niece or nephew was born on the day of my wedding. I would think it would make it even more special. But obviously we are not the same.

    Try not to worry over it, if you do baby buttons may come early ;)
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    edited December 2011
    Not to be totally pessimistic, but maybe there's more to her "concerns".  The obvious concern is that you would go into labor.  But, is she also afraid that having an 8mo pg bridesmaid will take attention away from her?  Special dress, special care, belly in all the pics... you know what I mean.  Maybe she just wants the attention in general, but knows that's a little bridezilla to admit out loud.

    If I were you, I would have an honest conversation with her about her concerns.  Ask if she would prefer that you not be part of the bridal party... maybe it would take some stress off of her.  I know that's not ideal and it may hurt your feelings, but at least offering to step down give her an opportunity to voice her real feelings.

    And for the record, I don't think it's completely crazy for her to think you could deliver the baby early.  All you and your family can do is assure her that if that were to happen, it would not impact her wedding day.  But, it sounds like you've already done that.
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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
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    edited December 2011
    Hil - I already said i'd be more then happy to step down. Also, I'm not wearing a special dress, I had to get a size 16 and hard core get it altered. But yeah I think she's worried the focus will get taken away from her, which is why I'm trying so hard to make it as much about her as humanly possible. 
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    CaitC21CaitC21 member
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the PPs that said you were going about things the right way.

    Also can't she just be happy your having a healthy pregnancy so far.
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    edited December 2011

    I agree with PPs as well.  There's nothing she can do to change your due date so she might as well not worry about it.  It's just going to cause her unecessary stress. 

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    edited December 2011
    This happened to my friend last year, except is was her Husband's brother getting married. My friend was due 2 weeks before the wedding and was having a difficult pregnancy. She told them she may not be able to go and since it was 2 hours away her H (best man) might not be able to go because the doctor said they should not be 2 hours away fromt he hospital. I know her BIL & SIL were not happy to hear that but they did plan the wedding after finding out she was pregnant so they should have assumed that might happen.

    In the end it was something they just had to accept. But my friend went to the doctor the day before the wedding and her doctor assured her she would not go into labor and allowed her to travel the 2 hours. So everything worked out but it was stressful on everyone not knowing if the best man could be at the wedding until 1 days before.

    I don't think there is anything you could say to her to make the situation 100% better. I think what you are doing right now is perfect and there isn't anything else you can do.
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