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September 2010 Weddings

NWR: I need Anger Management

Hey guys......I have to unload something that is bothering me at the moment--The past couple of nights Liv (DD) hasn't been going to bed at normal time (7:30-8)it's more near 10:30-11 and it's really ticking me off....literally. I can feel my fuse getting shorter and shorter.....We used to be able to put on the "Olivia's Lullabies" playlist and out her in her crib and she'd go to sleep with no problem. These past couple days she stands in her crib, screams and cries and rubs her face/ chews on her crib rails. Then when I pick her up and rock with her she falls asleep. Okay---- I put her in her crib, she wakes right back up...Grrrrrr....so I pick her up and snuggle with her in our bed and (THIS is where it gets most annoying)suddenly thinks it's play time and be cute time. She giggles and says cute words/ makes animal sounds and wants to "tickle, tickle" (this is AFTER I've tried EVERYTING to get her to sleep b/c I, myself, am EXHAUSTED).....so at this point I'm ready to scream and I've learned my breaking point.I know we had confession Tuesday yesterday but today I have to confess that I screamed at my 1 and half year old last night in sheer frustration......and I am beating myself up over it. The thing that sucks the MOST is that I screamed at her to "Dammit- Go to Sleep!" and then she cried and screamed more/louder and reached out to me and was repeating "Mommy" til I picked her up. I'm having a really bad "Mommy" day and don't feel like I deserve the blessing that I've received b/c my anger is so much some times.....I think I am going to try to get a counselor.......(Ps thanks for letting me blow off steam)
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Re: NWR: I need Anger Management

  • sorry to hear you're having a tough time ::hugs:: i don't have children yet and can't even imagine how tough it can be.... i think the most important thing is that you recognize your frustration and don't want to let it impact your DD. you have a lot on your plate now with caring for DD, planning a wedding and the million other stressful things that come up....you are an even better mommy for knowing that you need to take good care of your self to take the best care of your daughter!!!!
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  • I agree with PPs!!Don't beat yourself up over it. I don't have kids either but it can't be easy!You realize it isn't working and know your fuse is short. Is it possible she has a cold or getting teeth?My sister and BIL just had a baby and she was so stressed out she kept telling my mom she had to be an error free mom, my mom said " Just start with not killing her, then lets go from there" I don't mean to make fun of it by any means but being a great mom is a very hard but very rewarding job!!Maybe try taking her on a walk tonight you can work off some stress and energy and she can enjoy the fresh air and maybe tucker her out a bit.Try to keep your chin up, everyone deserves an off day ever now and then!
  • This is long, but please read, Ferdy!You do not need a counselor...this is perfectly normal! Every parent has freak out moments sometimes. Maybe it's time for a bed? My DD (now 3 yrs old) was in a toddler bed at 10 months because she refused to sleep in the crib. But just remember that it's okay, and to relax. She knows you love her, and that's the most important thing - so if she gets upset she'll forgive you. Kids at that age are tough, and a lot of the time need their parents to be forceful with them so they'll learn their boundries (of course, this does not mean screaming and swearing at them all over the place or being physical, but strong and firm with your words and rules).And it's okay if you need to walk away for a few minutes to compose yourself!Again, I'd start considering a bed. It might be a tough transistion at first, but once she's settled it will be a lot better. When she goes to bed, make sure she has everything she needs and just tell her to go to sleep. She'll cry, but don't go to her. Shut the door and go into another room. You might pop in once after and tell her, "You need to stop, it's time for bed. I love you. Goodnight." She'll tire out eventually and go to sleep (you know she's safe, so this is okay!). This might happen for a couple of nights, or even a week or so, but if you stick to it, she'll stop.We did the same thing, and now DD never makes a fuss about going to bed (7:30-8:00) and even asks when she feels tired!I hope that all makes sense...it's hard to explain in a message sometimes.
  • It's okay. My DD never wants to go to bed. She really is a night owl like her mommy. I usually read her a longer story at bedtime and that has been helping lately. I have also let her fall asleep in our bed and carry her to her room, I have gotten really good with that one, and put a pillow next to her so she feels like you are next to her. Just like they used to tell you about the baby burrito, they like to feel that closeness. Please don't feel bad, I have done it too. I seem to find my rope is shorter when I am PMSing...LOL.
  • Thanks for all the support guys!! I really appreciate the feedback! One of my biggest fears is turing into my mother- and I think in all my efforts to NOT be like her--in fact I'm letting things get the better of me and doing exactly what I don't want to do....yikes!It's good to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with this sort of thing. I really want to be the best mother I can be -- but sometimes when she's screaming and screaming on and on I just can't take it! I sometimes wonder why I was blessed with a child when I know SO many loving women that aren't able to have kids -- they'd probably be a bit more patient than I am at times...... Aspersia: thanks for the tip about the bed --I will have to talk to FI about this--- you could be right on about this since at daycare she sleeps on a cot that is "open" and not closed up on a higher level like her crib.Thanks again!
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  • I think the bed idea is a good one - sometimes it helps to be able to just close them in their rooms.  The first few nights they will stay up a little later and play with their toys, but they do wear themselves out and go to bed eventually, and the next day they're tired and will go to bed at normal time in most cases.  I don't have kids of my own, but I was a part-time nanny and when the parents switched to beds it was SUCH a difference.  We could still hear the twins up through the baby monitor, but they actually didn't stay up nearly as long as they did when we were with them, because really they're tired and without you there they don't try so hard to stay awake.Hang in there, and don't beat yourself up too much.  There will be times that you lose your temper, but what makes you a good mom is KNOWING that you shouldn't have raised your voice/sworn/whatever, feeling bad about it, and trying to make up for it.  Make sure your daughter knows you love her and it will be ok (and I'm sure you've shown her that plenty already, since you feel so bad).
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  • You may only have to take off the front gate. My crib that I had you could do that and make it more of a day bed.
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