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September 2010 Weddings

Booze??

So my dad is mostly footing the bill for the wedding, but FI and I will be contributing to the wedding fund also. My dad says that he has a problem paying for other people to drink, so he refuses to pay for an alcoholic bar package from our venue. I've tried suggesting that FI and I pay for it, but he's still against it.How can I convince my dad that it's really ok to serve alcohol at the wedding? I don't even know if there is a way to go around him and book it anyway, and then pay for it separately because it all gets rolled into the cost together. I don't want to have a big fight, but I just don't know how to get my dad to ever listen to me...I don't like champagne, so I'm going to barely sip it for the toast, and then that's it for the alcohol! 4 hours later when I'm dancing and having fun, I can't have a cocktail at my own wedding?!?! That really doesn't seem fair :(
Me: 26 DH: 32
TTC since 08/2010
Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
Dx PCOS 3/2012
SA 5/25/12--normal
June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI

Re: Booze??

  • Cash bar isn't an option at our venue, so that's out. We have to either have an alcoholic bar package (choice of 3) or a non-alcoholic bar package (choice of 2).
    Me: 26 DH: 32
    TTC since 08/2010
    Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
    Dx PCOS 3/2012
    SA 5/25/12--normal
    June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
    July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
    August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI
  • What about serving only beer and wine? Or maybe if you're having an after party you could have alcohol there?Hopefully you can compromise on this, but in the end it's your wedding, and if you pay for it, I would hope he could be ok with that.
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  • Try explaning to your dad that all of these people are coming to celebrate with you, and regardless of what his choice is, people will want to drink and it's a nice way to complete the meal that you'll be serving.Pull the focus away from the fact that ya.. people will probably get drunk.  And if it's something that you want at your wedding, let him know it's important to you and you're willing to front the money!Good luck hun!
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  • This is a tough one, since he is paying.  There are actually a lot of brides who can't have alcohol at their reception because they're having it on church premises - so it's not like it's completely unheard of.  I think it's really hard to tell you what to do without knowing the dynamic between you and your dad.  If he really won't accept money from you to pay for the alcohol, you may have to accept the idea that you won't be having any unless you take on the full cost of the catering.  In that case, the after-party idea sounds like a good one.Try some of the PPs suggestions of trying to get him to see that people just like to have alochol available at a celebration like this, and maybe you'll be able to convince him.  It may be easier if you choose something other than a full bar (like beer and wine only), since it's somewhat less likely that people will be getting wasted.Best of luck, but remember that it's not the end of the world if you can't have alcohol, and that if it's something he really feels strongly about, you may have no other option since he's paying. Unfortunately, the only way to get everything the way you want it is to pay for it all yourself, and it can be pretty hard to give up a generous offer like your dad's.
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