So we did our walk through with our ceremony site today and the lady gave us a good tip about the unity sand (can't do a unity candle because it's an ourdoor venue).
I guess the mother's are supposed to put a base neutral sand color representing the 2 families coming together as 1, then we put in our 2 colored sands.
Problem is our families have LITERALLY never met in 4.5 years and wont' meet until the wedding day. FI's family can't come to the RD and I only have 19 days left so I can't have a dinner ahead of time to get them to meet, esp where my parents live in NH and his live in MA. We figured our families would just meet during pictures. Very akward but there's no other time if I don't want to see FI before the ceremony.
SO my problem is clearly neither family cares to get to know each other and neither one really sees our 2 famlies coming together. Thankfully we don't want children because FI's family is very controlling and really thinks that I'm giving up my family after we get married even though I've explained 1000 times that I'm not, so I think they think it's not worth getting to know each other. My mom has made phone attempts to get to know his family before the wedding, tried to even get his mom involved in the shower but she never returned my mom's calls. His family didn't go to our shower because his sister had her baby shower the same day.
Alright long story short. I'm not comfortable with the symbollism of the 2 families coming together if they really don't get. I get that no matter how everyone feels this is the way it's going to be, but it doesn't make sense to me. Unfort FI already talked to his mom about his idea because he was psyched to give her something to do (even though she hasn't cared about the entire wedding literally) so I think we're stuck but how can I make myself feel better? Sorry it's a stupid rant just realizing that damn this is for real and this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. I can't wait for holidays when we have a house and expect our families to come to us to even out the who you see more problem.