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September 2010 Weddings

regrets?

i keep seeing these fancy beautiful weddings that i would never in a million years be able to afford.  i am spending a lot of money and a lot of TIME to make sure that my wedding comes off looking just as good as a wedding that had a budget of 2Xs what mine is, but i am not sure it is enough.  i really hope it comes out looking like i envision, and not like the poor person's version of what i envision.

i really wanted globe lighting but couldn't afford it.  now the vendor said we could do christmas tree lights instead.  still great.  but we are in a huge three tiered tent, how do i cover the ceiling with these little lights?  i want millions of them!  i do not want it to look dark and i do not want it to look tacky and half done because we cannot reach the top of our 35 foot tent.

not as big of a deal, but i really wanted hydrangeas (white) for my flowers.  changed my mind and went with sunflowers (seemed more rustic) and was wayyy cheaper (we are growing our own).  but now every time i see a hydrangea, i am sad that i am not using them as our wedding flower.

i kind of regret my dress.  i love it on, and it looks great, but it is not what i wanted and it is not loose and comfortable, which is really what i want.  i am already nervous about how i am going to wear it for 7 hours.

sorry, just needed to vent/feel sorry for myself for a minute.  also, is it 4:30 yet?  and is it friday at 4:30  yet??

Re: regrets?

  • Sorry honey.  I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful.  When making all these decisions I went back and forth a million times between "you only get to do this once" (i.e. go all out) and "it's only one day" (i.e. why spend so much?).  It is so aggravating.

    I'm a little worried about wearing my dess for 7 hours too.  But I don't regret my decision at all.  I'm just worried about sitting, moving, having to go to the bathroom.  Basically everything except standing still.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 183 Invited image 99 Confirmed image 84 Regrets RSVP Date: August 20th
  • I regret our reception hall - we booked it because it was cheap, plain and simple. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad but it's just not was I wanted. I keep reminding myself it's not about that - it's about us as a couple, and our marriage and celebrating with our friends and family...but if I could do one thing over I'd pick a better reception hall.
    Alison and Tom 9~11~10
    image
    Anniversary
  • In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE] I went back and forth a million times between "you only get to do this once" (i.e. go all out) and "it's only one day" (i.e. why spend so much?).  It is so aggravating. I'm a little worried about wearing my dess for 7 hours too.
    Posted by LauraM737[/QUOTE]

    this this this.
    image
  • My regret - A friend offered to let me borrow her dress.  I tried it on but decided to keep going to salons and trying new dresses.   Now that I've bought my dress... I keep looking back at pictures of me in the other dress and I think I like that one better.
    image
    murrayed
  • edited June 2010
    In Response to regrets?:
    [QUOTE]i really hope it comes out looking like i envision, and not like the poor person's version of what i envision.
    Posted by shauni27[/QUOTE]
    This, a zillion times this.

    Our weddings will be beautiful because they're our weddings. We're doing our best and I think we'll all be pleasantly surprised to see how our blood, sweat and tears come together when it's all said and done. I know this feeling - it's the same feeling I get every time I have to rely on myself for important things - and never has it wound up with everything falling apart instead of falling into place.

    Five, ten, twenty, fifty years from now, it won't matter that you had to grow your own sunflowers instead of being able to use your first-choice hydrangeas. It won't matter that you had twinkle lights instead of globe lighting. The only thing that will still matter is the half-deaf old man sitting in a fugly beat-up recliner flipping between hunting and fishing shows on the TV.

    ETA: That said, you are absolutely entitled to a little pity party every now and then. Just try not to let it bring you down too much. ;)
    BabyName Ticker
  • In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE]My regret - A friend offered to let me borrow her dress.  I tried it on but decided to keep going to salons and trying new dresses.   Now that I've bought my dress... I keep looking back at pictures of me in the other dress and I think I like that one better.
    Posted by nhelene[/QUOTE]

    Man, that is a huge decision to regret!  Unless you bought it off the rack.  Anyway you can sell the new one on ebay and use your friend's instead?  Would you need to get it altered?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 183 Invited image 99 Confirmed image 84 Regrets RSVP Date: August 20th
  • :( Sorry girlie. But please know you're not alone!! I have wedding envy (note to self: get off of STYLE ME PRETTY, don't go there ever again) every day and I just get all down and depressed.

    Your wedding will be beautiful. Do you want to know why?? Not because of christmas lights and not because of NOT hydrangeas and a not-so-perfect dress. It'll be beautiful because you two love each other and after (if I call correctly) a long a$$ time, you are finally committing yourselves to each other: tying the knot, buying the farm, etc. etc. He is going to die when he sees you in the dress, and you when you see him, and when you're announced as husband and wife everything will just fade. The flowers, the lighting, it'll all be gone from your mind. Chin up kiddo!

    (...now if I can only take my own advice!)
    image
  • In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to regrets? : This, a zillion times this. Our weddings will be beautiful because they're our weddings. We're doing our best and I think we'll all be pleasantly surprised to see how our blood, sweat and tears come together when it's all said and done. I know this feeling - it's the same feeling I get every time I have to rely on myself for important things - and never has it wound up with everything falling apart instead of falling into place. Five, ten, twenty, fifty years from now, it won't matter that you had to grow your own sunflowers instead of being able to use your first-choice hydrangeas. It won't matter that you had twinkle lights instead of globe lighting. The only thing that will still matter is the half-deaf old man sitting in a fugly beat-up recliner flipping between hunting and fishing shows on the TV. ETA: That said, you are absolutely entitled to a little pity party every now and then. Just try not to let it bring you down too much. ;)
    Posted by rien713[/QUOTE]

    Too funny!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 183 Invited image 99 Confirmed image 84 Regrets RSVP Date: August 20th
  • In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: regrets? : this this this.
    Posted by LiaDee[/QUOTE]

    We did the best we could, Lia
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 183 Invited image 99 Confirmed image 84 Regrets RSVP Date: August 20th
  • In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: regrets? : Man, that is a huge decision to regret!  Unless you bought it off the rack.  Anyway you can sell the new one on ebay and use your friend's instead?  Would you need to get it altered?
    Posted by LauraM737[/QUOTE]

    I still like mine... I just wish I had looked at the pictures side by side before making a decision.  My mom bought my dress for me anyway, so I  would feel REALLYbad if I didn't wear it.
    image
    murrayed
  • Oh yeah lots of them!  Not finding better invites, not shopping more for a venue, spending too much vs. spending to little "splurging on my day".

    I think my hairdresser's Mom gave me the best pick me up...  "No body knows exactly what it could have or was supposed to look like except for you, to everybody else it's a beautiful wedding"


    [IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/eq6ma9.jpg[/IMG]
  • My regret: One million times over, screamed from the mountain tops: SISTERS AS BRIDESMAIDS.

    No. no. no. *Starts sucking thumb and rocking in corner*
    image
  • In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE]Oh yeah lots of them!  Not finding better invites, not shopping more for a venue, spending too much vs. spending to little "splurging on my day". I think my hairdresser's Mom gave me the best pick me up...  "No body knows exactly what it could have or was supposed to look like except for you, to everybody else it's a beautiful wedding"
    Posted by angiem33[/QUOTE]

    I LOVE that!
    BabyName Ticker
  • That's great, Angie!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 183 Invited image 99 Confirmed image 84 Regrets RSVP Date: August 20th
  • In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE]My regret: One million times over, screamed from the mountain tops: SISTERS AS BRIDESMAIDS. No. no. no. *Starts sucking thumb and rocking in corner*
    Posted by LiaDee[/QUOTE]

    My regret is not just choosing a dress and telling them they would wear it.  I've wasted way too much energy and emotion and tears on their stupid goddamn dresses.  They will wear it one day and shove it in the backs of their closets, and forget about it.  I will look at them forever.  And I'll never get back the tears I shed for them.

    It would've been better to just not have BM's.  I've spent more time infoming them of what's going on and trying to come to a compromise on dresses than they've spent helping me.  Hopefully I won't feel this way the day of, though.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 183 Invited image 99 Confirmed image 84 Regrets RSVP Date: August 20th
  • Our sisters (FI's and mine) are between 28 and 15. There are 7 of them. If they're not: unemployed, busy with school, at summer camp, having a mid-life crisis, flying too the Dominican for boyfriend's bday, they are: complaining about dresses, ordering the wrong size, bitching to me about flight costs, bailing out of my shower/bachelorette, avoiding all contact with me.

    ...I was so stupid. I should have had 4 BMs, my best friends, who have been absolutely amazing thru the whole thing.

    And get this, we added groomsmen to match the # of sisters we had, so we totally would've had an even 4! bleh!
    image
  • In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE]Our sisters (FI's and mine) are between 28 and 15. There are 7 of them. If they're not: unemployed, busy with school, at summer camp, having a mid-life crisis, flying too the Dominican for boyfriend's bday, they are: complaining about dresses, ordering the wrong size, bitching to me about flight costs, bailing out of my shower/bachelorette, avoiding all contact with me. ...I was so stupid. I should have had 4 BMs, my best friends, who have been absolutely amazing thru the whole thing. And get this, we added groomsmen to match the # of sisters we had, so we totally would've had an even 4! bleh!
    Posted by LiaDee[/QUOTE]

    This, all of it.  Maybe not the details, but the feeling, definitely!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 183 Invited image 99 Confirmed image 84 Regrets RSVP Date: August 20th
  • In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE]:( Sorry girlie. But please know you're not alone!! I have wedding envy (note to self: get off of STYLE ME PRETTY, don't go there ever again) every day and I just get all down and depressed. Your wedding will be beautiful. Do you want to know why?? Not because of christmas lights and not because of NOT hydrangeas and a not-so-perfect dress. It'll be beautiful because you two love each other and after (if I call correctly) a long a$$ time, you are finally committing yourselves to each other: tying the knot, buying the farm, etc. etc. He is going to die when he sees you in the dress, and you when you see him, and when you're announced as husband and wife everything will just fade. The flowers, the lighting, it'll all be gone from your mind. Chin up kiddo! (...now if I can only take my own advice!)
    Posted by LiaDee[/QUOTE]
    This made me a lttle teary.  Thanks Aunt Flo.  But so so true.
    Photobucket

    Anniversary

  • awww.....such great words of advice in here.

    I just want to add that I think it's SUPER DUPER cool that you are growing your own flowers Shauni.   Soo sweet and more meaningful than anything you could buy in a store.
    image
    TTC since 2010
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  • I think that I regret our venue choice... I love it and it was really affordable, but I am not looking forward to setting up and tearing down everything right before/after the wedding. I just wanted a venue that would let me bring in my own food. haha.

    I agree though, no matter what, all our weddings will be beatuiful and amazing and perfect - for the sole fact that we are getting married and sharing that day with the people we care about.
    IAmPregnant Ticker Photobucket
  • It would've been better to just not have BM's.  I've spent more time infoming them of what's going on and trying to come to a compromise on dresses than they've spent helping me.  Hopefully I won't feel this way the day of, though.


    this exactly.

    i feel like most of my BMs could care less about the wedding. I dont even bother asking for help on anything because they can't even return FB messages or calls. Ugh
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Married My Best Friend on 9/17/2010
  • I regret having a destination wedding to make things fair and fun for everyone (we are from two different parts of the country) as I expected FI's family to be there for us like my family and not have 8 million excuses as to why they can't be there for him.  Now he feels like it is my personal family party instead of a wedding.
    I also regret expecting people to treat us in return the way we have always treated them.  For example, we will always travel on our dime for a family or friend's wedding no matter where it may be (also give generously to every child's whatever it is that week).
    Ugh sorry for the rant.  I just got off a fight with FI about the way his family takes him for granted so now of course he is mad at me!

    image Final Count 54 Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • The fact that we have such a HUGE guestlist... Our guestlist is 415.  It literally gives me chest pain just thinking about it.  I realize with 3 large, and only 1 normal size family in the mix this is the way it has to be.  That number is also no children!!  This is the worst possible scenario with all of our single friends bringing dates so I realize it won't be this bad but looking at the numbers is depressing.

    What else is depressing is the fact that we have a pretty generous budget from my parents and it just doesn't go that far with this many people involved.  We didn't pick a fancy reception hall downtown, we just went with a decent place in the suberbs that can comfortably hold that amount of people with extra room for a few wheelchairs to get around.  I can't stand when people are all squished in.

    I feel like we have done our best with what we have.  We will still have to come up with some of it on our own but we'll deal.  The only thing I truly regret going overboard on are our invites.  I could have done something much simpler and cheaper.  It just truly adds up when you are dealing with food, open bar, enough invitations, and cake to accomodate that amount of people.

    Sorry... this turned into a bigger vent than I anticipated!  On the bright side... it'll be a MAJOR party!
  • I'm the same way. I'm on a super tight budget and have done a lot of things myself or am getting my super crafty friend to help me. I just hope it doesn't look "cheap"...hopefully nice and simple and I'd be happy. The only regret I really have is settling on my flowers. I can still change them but I probably won't. I wanted a purple bouquet of calla lillies and wanted my girls to carry orange/yellow ones but the florist told me she couldn't get the purple in (said she's never even seen them). That's really the only thing I can think of...maybe my veil or my shoes but that's just because I change my mind. lol 

    I'm sure your wedding will be absolutely gorgeous and everyone will love it. Just enjoy YOUR day and forget about the rest! :)
    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttb3b0e.aspx[/img][/url]
  • two words... "hydrageas wilt"

    My SIL regretted having hydrageas in her bouquet.

    It will be beautiful!!
  • liadee--the goal is to have it look like the wedding you posted--hopefully it will!
  • i regret not having a DW. I always envisioned it just me and FI on a tropical island-no family or friends at all. FI wanted a big traditional wedding and thought my parents would want that too, so I gave in. I am excited about having everyone there and my family has been absolutely wonderful with helping me plan. Fis family is the total opposite. They could care less about our wedding and his mom has even said she's not coming. They are totally supportive of his brother getting married this month though. I wish we just eloped because it would have saved him the heartbreak. It did, however, make him feel very close with my family.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • edited July 2010
    In Response to Re: regrets?:
    [QUOTE]i regret not having a DW. I always envisioned it just me and FI on a tropical island-no family or friends at all. FI wanted a big traditional wedding and thought my parents would want that too, so I gave in. I am excited about having everyone there and my family has been absolutely wonderful with helping me plan. Fis family is the total opposite. They could care less about our wedding and his mom has even said she's not coming. They are totally supportive of his brother getting married this month though. I wish we just eloped because it would have saved him the heartbreak. It did, however, make him feel very close with my family.
    Posted by neonorchid[/QUOTE]
    So happy to hear this as I am hoping my FI is feeling this way toward my family after the way everything has gone down.

    ETA: Not happy to hear of your FI's heartbreak of course neonorchid just to be clear.
    image Final Count 54 Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • -Not taking a honeymoon right away. We decided because of scheduling to wait a month and then go. HUGE MISTAKE! You really need that time to be with eachother to soak it all on.
    -We didn't use a videographor and I regret that too. We had some family members do it but I wish we would have spent the money on it.
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