We've been engaged for 10 months now and this whole process has been virtually "drama free" (gracias a Dios!!!). However, I have a minor vent - not so much angry, but my feelings are hurt. :-(
FI & I had a different idea of what the number of BM/GM should be (I wanted 9, he wanted 5... we settled at 6 lol). However, for the 3 "BMs" I had to "cut", I made them candelighters/honorary BMs. We got engaged in February and I officially "asked" all the girls in August, at which time I gave them all the details of their dress/price and when to order it (DB said it had to be by 12/31 or risk the dress being discountinued after the new year). I even told everyone that I knew the order date was early so I would be willing purchase the dresses if they could pay me back some time before 9/18/10 (over a whole year away at that point). About 2 weeks after giving this info, one HBM told me should couldn't do it due to financial issues. Yea, I was sad she couldn't do it but I completely understood. She then offered to play the piano for us since FI had put his foot down about a string quartet but I really wanted live music. Ok - perfect: she is still "in" our wedding and I get live music. Woo hoo! :-)
Here's where the vent/hurt feelings come in:
A few weeks ago (early Dec), ex-HBM tells me she's signing up for PT (personal training) with my old PT for the month of Dec - March. I know what he costs and it's a whole heck of a lot more than a BM dress. I didn't say anything because I figure, "well, that sucks but it's her money, her priorities". It hurt my feelings but I certainly can't tell her how to spend her money.
Then, earlier today, I get a message from her saying that she won't be able to play piano for us either because she's going to be really busy with her business fraternity and classes. Keep in mind, we are still 8 1/2 months out. Again, I say nothing because it's her life, her priorities (and who am I to say that playing piano in our wedding is more important than school...pretty sure I'd lose that battle!). This just kind of hurts myfeelings though, because I feel like she keeps finding excuses or keeps putting things in front of what she had told me she would do; keeping her word to me is obviously not one of her priorities.
We've been friends for about 7 years now, and something like this definitely wouldn't end our friendship but it's really hurt my feelings and I see things regarding her a little bit differently now.
Thanks for reading my novel. I just wanted to B&C. I told her that I understood (because I do, as much as I don't "get" her reasoning) but that I wanted to talk to her when she gets home (she was on vacay when she told me) just so she understands how I feel, too.
Am I way off the mark/being a 'Zilla about this? Would this upset you?