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September 2010 Weddings

People don't think

FI and I are paying for most of the wedding ourselves, and our venue/plates pp are pretty pricey.  We get an RSVP yesterday from his cousin ordering A $100 plate of filet mignon for their 12 year old.  I'm not happy about it, and I don't know these people but have to pay $400 for their dinner at our wedding?

Then my MOH calls me this am and informs me she is bringing FIVE kids to the reception.  Really?!  She invited everyone, her step kids, her cousin, I mean come on.  She is also the one to say "I am your gift to you" so I am well aware that her family will not bring a present to the wedding. 

Am I crazy? Have you had any experiences with this and how are you handling it?  I don't think FI wants to say anything to his cousin, and my only hope with MOH is that she has her kids picked up after dinner so they aren't under everyone's feet all night.

[IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/eq6ma9.jpg[/IMG]

Re: People don't think

  • First and foremost, were these kids invited? If they weren't invited then you have every right to say that they can't come.

    Secondly, my venue offers reduced rates for people under 21 (so rather than $110pp it's $52.95). See if your venue offers something like that -- it should, if alcohol is include in the price per head. And if it's not, then the filet must be made of gold because that is a LOT of money to spend on steak!
  • Ugh - and you wanted a no-kids wedding, right?

    Is there a kids meal offered through the venue that you can give to the 12 year old?  No way in HELL I'd be paying $100 for filet for anyone not old enough to drive - and you can be damn sure his parents don't let him order that when he goes out for dinner with THEM.  He can eat chicken fingers & friends, tyvm.

    Were the MOH's kids invited?  Can you just tell her you don't have enough room for them?  We're having kids, but if we weren't, I would have made no bones about telling people to keep their little darlings at home and if that upsets you, then, well, you'll be missed.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. PersonalMilestone
  • In Response to Re: People don't think:
    [QUOTE]First and foremost, were these kids invited? If they weren't invited then you have every right to say that they can't come. Secondly, my venue offers reduced rates for people under 21 (so rather than $110pp it's $52.95). See if your venue offers something like that -- it should, if alcohol is include in the price per head. And if it's not, then the filet must be made of gold because that is a LOT of money to spend on steak!
    Posted by callalilly323[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree with this post - find out about the reduced rated plate and if they weren't invited then they should not be coming. Period.
    Alison and Tom 9~11~10
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  • yup, i agree with callalilly.   
  • Wow, such rude and ill-mannered people!  Put your foot down and keep it there!
  • I totally agree with Callalilly. If the kids weren't invited, they don't come. And MOH's  cousin CERTAINLY does not come as one of her kids.
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  • If people aren't invited, you need to be firm but polite and say that you're sorry, but you cannot add any more people to the guest list because of space and/or budget constraints, and you understand if this means she (the parent) can no longer attend.  Offer some names of local childcare if you're feeling especially nice.

    As for the filet mignon, I would call and say, "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, but all children under 12 will be getting a children's plate, with chicken tenders, French fries, etc."  If you don't know about your caterer's children's plates, call and ask - I am sure they have them.
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  • I agree with callalilly .. and everyone else!
  • PP gave you good advice. Put your foot down and say no or children get kids plates.
    ~~~Lynsey~~~
  • Oh heck no! I am an adult and requested the chicken at the last wedding I went to because I wasn't very close with the couple and felt bad doing the expensive menu choice! Call your caterer and then call or email your friend and let them know. Or just let them get their child served the kids plate at the wedding and tell them to shut it. 
  • We had a similar problem on a much smaller scale. We allowed kids from the family ONLY at our reception (there are literally only 2 kids in our family) and we got a response with one wanting prime rib. I kindly talked to my FSIL and told her that he would be getting a kids meal. She was fine with that.

    However, if you did not invite children to this wedding, there should be no exceptions. Remember this is YOUR day!
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