Pennsylvania-Philadelphia

Tired of planning

I've realized it's just not fun anymore.  there's too much drama.  My one BM makes me want to cry everytime I talk to her because she talks up her sister's wedding which is three months after mine and acts like mine is a piece of crap.  she complains about everything to do with my wedding.  she told me her plan at my wedding is to get wasted and hook-up with FI's friends.  it really hurts when she talks about all the stuff she's doing with/for her sister and wouldn't even try on BM dresses for mine, it was ordered without her even seeing it.   Besides that i have people ask me all the time if they are invited .. hello .,.. that's rude.  plus, those that ask are not, even grown adults ask, shoudln't they know better.  I'm still five months out, and there's a lot to do, but i don't even care anymore,  I just want to get married and spend my life with FI.  it's not worth all this.  i feel like i'm just emotionally drained with everything people are putting me through.  it's bad enough one side of my family is refusing to even come, i need my so-called friends to be on my side.

i just don't know what to do anymore :-(
I don't know if i can keep planning it.  if there is this much drama now, how much will there be the day of ....


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Re: Tired of planning

  • Amerbutt81Amerbutt81 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like you need to tell that bridesmaid to kick rocks.

    But I totally understand where you are coming from.  A friend of mine got engaged two weeks before me, but isn't getting married until a year after me.  My MOH is a BM in her wedding and I got really.sick.and.tired. of hearing about the other chicks wedding.  Especially since we have two completely different styles.  Finally I just sat her down and told her that although I am pysched for her too, but my brain can only function on so much wedding-related information and that is just throwing me into overload.  After next year, I will happily listen to all the plans in the world, but right now my head might explode ;)
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with pp that maybe you need to un-maid your friend.  She's not being fair to you.

    I'm sorry to hear that part of your family won't be attending, for whatever reason.  I hope that you will enjoy the day regardless.  I am 9 months out and am feeling kind of sick and annoyed too.  What's funny to me is that people keep asking and talking about my wedding when I don't even feel like talking about it!

    My advice is to take a time out... from everyone and everything.  Take a weekend to shut off the phone and just decompress a little.
  • CA2PABride2BeCA2PABride2Be member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I will disagree with PP about the un-maiding.  You already say you're sick of planning and sick of the drama.  Unmaiding your friend will only cause more drama for you. 

    I feel you though - in the past year I've been engaged, my MOH and I have slowly started to drift apart.  Sadly, I'm ok with that but I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't have asked her to be the MOH.

    But bottom line - there's gonna be people and things that annoy the hell out of you throughout these next 5 months.  Just take deep breaths, tune them out, and remember that on your wedding day none of them will matter.
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  • edited December 2011
    I may agree about the un-maiding honestly.. I had a VERY similar experience, and looking back I think I should have asked my BM to step down.  She herself was getting married a few weeks before me, and needless to say it became all about her, and not the least bit about me (I think it could have been about BOTH of us... and tried, but she obviously didnt have the time).   We actually havent spoken since my wedding because of some "drama" she ended up causing on my wedding day by being selfish.  So I think in the long run if I had asked her to step down stating the obvious reasons of she was preoccupied and it would be better for both of us, it would have probably gone over better than the situation we're in now.. 
  • edited December 2011
    wow, you were hearing my thoughts, or reading my mind!
  • Jesster153Jesster153 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I feel your pain. I've only been planning for 2.5 months and it's really overwhelming. My FI and I have a friend that cornered my FI and asked him if he was in the wedding party. Rude! and he's not...and now he won't drop it and always makes comments like "well, since I'm not in the wedding party..." It's really annoying. And we've had people ask us if they're invited too-- it's really unreal. I would never do that!
    My FI keeps saying 'oh the day of the wedding non of the stress will matter and it will seem silly looking back on it' So as the planning continues, I'm trying to keep that in mind :-P
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