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November 2010 Weddings

BM dresses vent-ish

So I'm just starting to get ideas on what I'd like for BM dresses.

I sent one that I thought was nice to my MOH just to get her opinion on it... She writes back with "Your know it doesnt matter what i think, or anyone else. It is your wedding...do what you like." Basically I took that as she didn't like it. Then she goes off on the color in the picture wouldnt look good with orange flowers.... ummm, i asked about the dress and said i'm not choosing a color until i can see it in person and that I'm just looking for ideas because I don't want people spending money on something they don't like.

Today I get an email from a mutal friend -- the email was originally from my MOH to mutual friend that said "this is the dress she wants, it makes me want to vomit"...
seriously...i told her I'm just looking for ideas and I'm not set on anything and I just wanted an opinion on it.  ughhhhh

I'd consider  heres a color choose whatever dress you want, but FI is very very set on having it look the same. meh...

Re: BM dresses vent-ish

  • That stinks.  Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with the style of the dress.  I can see how the color might not work with orange flowers, but like you said, you're just brainstorming. 

    I know you said she's "going off" on the dress--but you did say you wanted opinions. I think she's just trying to give you her honest opinion and its coming off as grumpy or complaining.  I doubted she meant for you to hear her comments to the mutual friend--she was probably just gossiping about how she didn't like the dress. 

    I'd just brainstorm on your own so you can go through the process without comments from the peanut gallery. Or ask them to show you dress styles they like, and then show them swatches of colors you had in mind.  If you pick the color, and they pick the style, I bet it will be easier to come to a decision 
  • I dunno about the flowers.  We're having chocolate brown dresses and the girls will be carrying orange and purple daises, and I think the colors will look great together.  But I've chosen a darker brown dress, I guess...

    anyway. I like that style of dress actually!  Maybe try sending a few options to everyone and see if they can mutually agree on a style at least?  
  • I say don't send your friends anymore "ideas".  Go to a store, find a dress you like and color in person.  Then, bring one (or them) along to try it on a 2nd visit.  Don't ask their opinion at first.  Just say this is the dress(es) I like best.  If you pick out a few, you can narrow it down after seeing it on them.

    I've learned that asking opinions is pointless b/c no one will agree on everything.  It's your day, not theirs.  I was like you at first but I got tired of the crap that came along with trying to make everyone happy.   GL.
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  • Just ask her and the other BMs for their budget, individually, and pick a dress. If it looks horrible on her, then I'd reconsider, but if it looks fine but its just not her style, she can suck it up for one day. Its nice to get their input, but her opinion is not the only one that matters.
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  • Something I'm learning in this wedding planning experience very quickly, is that there is no way to please everyone.

    My sister (MOH) and I went to pick out bridesmaids dresses recently (because SHE insists that all the girls match) and then she had a dream that she wore it to prom.  And now she thinks the dress is prommy and doesn't want to wear it.

    So be nice and accomodating and all that, but when it comes down to it, this is the day that YOU are supposed to remember forever, let them worry about the dresses at their own wedding.
  • Good way of putting it Laura.  That's what I was trying to get across I just sounded blunt b/c I'm so tired of trying.  It's exhausting.  I feel like wedding planning is hard enough without having people complain about things :-).  I thought it was supposed to be fun!  If you like it, go with it.  I do agree with the budget part as well.  That was my main concern with BMs.  My problem is that I couldn't find anything THEY like within their budgets.  Most of my friends are cool...I just have one BM who is a problem...guess who! 

    What colors are you thinking?  Do you want to go with a brown?  I think chocolate and orange would be beautiful.  That's actually my plan as well! 
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  • you will always run into one issue or another when trying to get BMs to like a dress they have to pay for and likely will never wear again. thats why I'm letting all mine to pick their own damn dress, I was not about to go through all this crap.

    I actually think that dress is adorable! she might just have an attitude for no good reason, try your best to ignore it
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  • Ok first of all I really like that dress that you showed her. I have had to wear some horrible dresses before and if someone picked that for me I would be so happy.  I agree that I don't like the color but of course you said you were just trying to brainstorm.  I don't think it was right for her to tell someone else how much she hated it though, if she felt that strongly she should have told you that.

    I had kind of the same situation as you, my FI insists that everyone look the same and my MOH gave me the same line it's your wedding just tell me what to wear.  I was trying to please everyone too much. What I did is I took 2 of my bridesmaids shopping and I gave the sales girl my specifications it has to be black and floor length, she brought me everything she could think of in the store.  What ended up happening is I could tell what their reaction was to the dress and it actually gave me the power to veto a dress if I didn't like it. 

    Maybe you could do some looking find some designers and styles that you like and then just take them.  Remember you have to be happy with it not them.  GL!
  • I love the bridesmaid dress.  It very classic and will go well with orange flowers.  Maybe youthful jewelry with orange tones will make it pop.  
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  • I love that dress.....in fact that is the dress I was going to use for my BM. My girls are all VERY different in size and it just didnt look good on a few of them so I switched...

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  • thanks for all the responses!! I really appricate all the advice.

     I really want to find something that is flattering on everyone and that they at least like to some degree. I know theres no way to see how it will look like online but I'm just starting to see what I like and what look I want.
  • I looked at so many BM dresses and I kept coming back to the one you chose. All of my BM loved it. When I saw it in person, it was in a white with black flower print. I had trouble envisioning this dress in the brown shown in the picture. It made all of BMs look pregnant. I was very disappointed because I wanted this dress. Don't worry if you go see it and don't like it. I found a dress that looked ugly on the hanger and online and when my BMs put it on, they loved it. I even tried it on too!!!!


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