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December 2010 Weddings

plus 1

How do you go about telling people that the plus 1 that they wrote on the response card is not invted?

Re: plus 1

  • Call them up and say, "I'm sorry for any confusion. The invitation was intended only for you and unfortunately we aren't able to accommodate your guest."

  • We got back one where they are bringing their 13 year old son.  Ugh.
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  • I guess that people don't realize that when you dont put:
    Mr(s) XXX and Guest...

    That means there is no guest invited!!! Ugh!!! Chaps my @$$!!! LOL

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  • Thank you guys!
    I've been having the same problems, on both issues. 
    We are standing firm on the no kids....we didn't mention it on the invites, but the kids name weren't listed as invited.
    Still waiting to see how many singles respond on bringing dates before I say something.....the invited were addressed to that person only.
    It's not about being rude, it's about limited space, and limited $$.
    We don't have the extra cash to buy dinner and drinks for a stranger.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_december-2010-weddings_plus-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:597Discussion:a6b1defc-97e7-4bc2-96b2-829e2e2e66dcPost:90262125-57c0-4ed8-9068-cc63ac511b28">Re: plus 1</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you guys! I've been having the same problems, on both issues.  We are standing firm on the no kids....we didn't mention it on the invites, but the kids name weren't listed as invited. Still waiting to see how many singles respond on bringing dates before I say something.....the invited were addressed to that person only. It's not about being rude, it's about limited space, and limited $$. <strong>We don't have the extra cash to buy dinner and drinks for a stranger.
    </strong>Posted by cwbykitty[/QUOTE]

    AMEN!!!
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  • I had my grandma do this...she was going to bring one of her clients (grandma is a minister at an addiction rehab clinic) to the wedding, and also advised that she'd be having this person stay at my mother's house with her. Mom totally laid down the law on that one pretty quickly. I don't anticipate a lot of uninvited people because our RSVPs had each invited person's name and check boxes for their meal of if they're not coming. If we get any though, I plan on just calling the invited person and saying oh we'd love to see so-and-so but unfortunately we just don't have the space or budget necessary to have him/her attend the wedding. I'm sorry for the confusion. I really hope that doesn't happen though, because I'm not good at approaching people in awkward conversations.
  • I agree with the calling them and telling them about it, though I'd have a hard time myself, lol - awkward conversations. 

    I found out the other day (and will find out for sure now - FI's on the phone w/his family), that his aunt rsvp'd for 3 when we only put her name and her husband on the invite.  FI never even metioned her son (who I guess is 15 now).  I guess maybe they looked at the website where we had put that children under 15 are not allowed unless in the bridal party and misunderstood.  Oops.  I put that on there because I invited 2 15 yr olds.  We're not going to say anything really, because we have room from some declines. 
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  • edited October 2010
    I We told FI's brother, who wanted to bring his new gf, that we would have to see if we could accommodate her but as of now, she cannot come.  We are allowing kids at the reception, but I have seen invites say "adult reception" or whatever.  It doesn't bother me when I see this, I don't have kids but it wouldn't bother me even if I did.  Although, I know everyone doesn't follow the traditional etiquette on everythiing, and I'm definitely ok with that when it comes to certain things.
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  • I think it's fine to put Adults Only in the invite package - it makes it clear to any guests and avoids the awkward confusion if people RSVP for themselves and their kids.  Also, they know that rule applies to all guests, not just themselves.  

    Have you seen how many girls get angsty about writing this, then have the awkward of people RSVP-ing with their kids?   

    I think it's fine to write that.  I also broke a cardinal etiquette rule - I added a suggested dress code to my invite.  Guests have thanked me for that.
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  • Oh dear, my heart goes out to you ladies we all have our budget/guest limitations and its always difficult when we have to "gently educate" our guests, isn't it?

    I have to say we've been blessed, although we invited families, no one is bringing their children (Its in Vegas) - but what has surprised me is the number of guests who are leaving their spouses at home and coming by themselves!  I'm convinced RSVPs are a crap shoot, you never know what you'll get!
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  • We are planning on an adults only reception but our wedding planner told us we were not allowed to write it in the invitations. 

    We put "and guest" for anybody that was a single - because we both knew how much it sucks to go to something by yourself sometimes! (especially a wedding and you're the single person!) 

    we have had one person respond that included their kids (Even though they weren't on the invitation - but i just told my mom about it and she talked to them) so far so good. 

    i just wish people would get their darn invites back in! 
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