Meeting with Priest

SoonAKuhn

Hello ladies!  I am meeting with our priest later this week and I need some direction.  I'm not Catholic, my FI is, so I'm not exactly sure everything I need to ask the priest regarding the ceremony.  My FI doesn't know much about wedding stuff so he doesn't really know what to ask.  Any suggestions on what I should be asking?  Thanks ladies!!

rdapplebee

Since I am assuming this is your first meeting. -Date and times (most catholic parishes are like 11 am or 2 pm wedding times for saturdays)-any restrictions as far as photography, videography-any restrictions for aisle runners and so forth-what planning classes you need to take. IE precana, foccus test-will they provide the singer/musician or do you have to get your own-you might have to decide if you are just doing a ceremony or if you are having a nuptual mass. All parishes are differnet since only one of you is catholic you might not have the option of a nuptual mass.Hope this helps

Calypso1977

PP's suggestions are good. he may ask you if you wish to convert before the wedding.  if this is somethign you are considering doing anyway, it may be a good idea.  but, if you are on the fence, i advise not doing it until you are ready.  you will make a much better catholic, imo, if you convert when you are ready, not because you have been "forced" or pushed to do it.  a good priest will not push conversion on you for purposes of marriage.he will also ask you abotu how you will raise your children.  they want to make sure that if you are not catholic, that you have no problems with your future children being raised catholic.  again, you can raise them catholic and assist your husband with this even if you arent catholic.at our first meeting, the priest had us each fill out a questionnaire (basic, abotu prior marriages, sacraments received, etc.) then met with us individually to go over it, then he met with us together.  we then set a date and time.  he will most likely discuss the plan going forward for your pre-cana.  often times, "mixed marriages" require a bit more pre-cana than marriages between two catholics.  our pre-cana was just with the priest, adn we didnt do the FOCCUS test that you hear people talk abotu on here.  but, this varies, all priests/parishes are different.definitely ask about any modesty standards as far as you and your WP's clothes, particularly if you have your heart set on a strapless gown.  some churches dont allow strapless. 

lizardrach812

i am a non catholic, but my fiance is catholic, and we are going through our premarital stuff right now.our first meeting was basically a chance for the priest to get to know us as a couple.  he asked how we met, and how/why we decided to get married, etc.  then he explained the marriage procedures to us and told us what we had to do before he would allow us to set a date.  after that, we took the "PREPARE" inventory...similar to FOCCUS, but not exactly the same (correct me if i am wrong!).  of course you take the survey separately, but the priest told us to take some time to discuss the answers among ourselves when we left.we just had our second meeting yesterday.  the priest discussed our survey results with us, and brushed on some potential issues that he felt needed more discussion.  we talked with him for a little while, but he really wanted us to disucss these things on our own.  since one of our issues was religious, he asked us to take a few minutes before we left to go into the chapel and pray together.  then he told us to take some time and talk about some of the issues he mentioned, and he gave us a financial planning worksheet to play around with, and told us that we could get back in contact with him when we were ready to officially set the date and time with the church.our next step is to do more counseling with a married couple within the parish.  it just so happens that the couple we chose to do our counseling with is the deacon and his wife.  we had three counseling options (all day seminar, a weekend retreat, or weekly sessions with a married couple in the parish), but the priest suggested that we meet on a weekly basis.  he then asked me to come to "inquiry classes," not because he wanted me to convert, but because we both agree that it is important to respect the religious beliefs and traditions of the man/family i am going to marry.  we agreed the best way to understand the faith is to learn about it :)our next meeting will be concerning specifics regarding our ceremony...setting a time, picking readings, etc.  overall, i've had a pleasant experience.  sorry this was so long, but i hope it helps!  i was pretty nervous at first, but everything is working out great.

SoonAKuhn

Thanks to everyone!  This definitely helps.  We already had our initial meeting with the priest (he's a friend of FI's too so he knows us pretty well).  I've just been hearing that some catholic churches have restrictions on certain aspects of the ceremony and I'm afraid I'm going to forget about something.  This definitely helps though!! I know we have to meet with a couple from the parish and we also have to take a "day" marriage course.  Then we'll get a certificate saying we attended everything and then we can get married.  I have the feeling that our church is a little bit more "laid back" then others so that makes me feel a more comfortable.  Thanks again for the advice!

nomadicprincess

One question you may want to ask is restrictions on your dress. Some Catholic parishes will not allow a strapless dress (although you can get a nice jacket to use for the ceremony). So, it is a good question to clarify.

tnspight

You might want to look at catholicbrides.com and catholicweddinghelp.com  I'm Catholic but have only been to two Catholic weddings.  These sites really helped me since for one of the weddings I was five and the flower girl so all I remember was that it was loooooong.