Catholic Weddings

Do we really need to fly back to meet with priest?

I spoke with the priest back in my home parish today verifying that we have a set wedding date for next year. I am currently living in WA and will be going back to WI for the wedding in July. He gave me the details about having to go to pre wedding classes out here and then he said he would have to meet face to face with both of us about 2 months prior to the wedding to go over the details. Neither my fiance or I want to spend ~$300/ticket to fly back to have a 30 minute -1 hour meeting with him only to have to fly back two months later for the same price including an extra ticket for his daughter. We all sat down 2 years ago when we had to go over the annulment so he has met him. Is there any reason why this meeting can't be done over the phone?

Re: Do we really need to fly back to meet with priest?

  • edited December 2011
    It's up to the priest.  If he says no, he needs to see you in person, then no, it can't be done over the phone.You'll probably have a stack of other wedding related things that you need to do, and you'll need to come back at least once in the spring for planning anyway.
  • edited December 2011
    Well I may need to come back but my fiance won't and we really don't want to have to shell out money for a plane ticket if we don't have to.
  • tnspighttnspight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You should ask if he'd be willing to do a conference call.  That's a lot of $ especially when things are tight for people right now.
  • edited December 2011
    Is your FI also Catholic?? If he isn't you may both have to go back to sign the papers requesting the dispensation to be married in the church. If that's not your situation, I don't see why you couldn't do a conference call. That is def. a lot of money to be shelling out for a 1 hour meeting. Especially if you can get all of the other WR stuff done w/o your FI.
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  • edited December 2011
    **adding on to my PP**You probably wouldn't be able to do dispensation forms without being there in person, b/c FI & I both had to take an oath (like in court) in front of the priest. You may be able to have the priest send the papers and fill them out in front of another priest, but I would definitely call the priest and ask.
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  • Tuneful_BrideTuneful_Bride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ask if he would be willing to video conference with Skype.
  • edited December 2011
    Our priest was oot and we did the meeting via video conferance. There is no cannon law requiring this but if you ask they might be ok with a phone meeting or video conference but it is up to teh priest to say for sure.  
  • edited December 2011
    Would a priest really expect us to pay that much for plane tickets to fly into town to solely sit down with him for an hour or less?? I think that's ridiculous! On top of that, I work as a contractor from home and don't even get vacation time so don't get paid unless I'm working. I'll be gone 1 1/2 weeks without being paid when I have to go out for the wedding. My fiance only gets 2 weeks vacation time and won't get his vacation time renewed until early June. He'll spend 1 week of it (at least) being out there for the wedding. The earliest we'd be able to come out then would be after he gets it renewed, only to have to fly out again in late July.
  • alliecarrie41alliecarrie41 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ditto PP, im sure you'll have tons of other WR things to take care of, so just meet the priest on one of those weekends.  im sure he'll be accomodating. 
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    While it is a frustrating situation, it isn't the priests' fault that you live so far away. It would be nice and gracious of him to allow you to do a phone/video conference, but it's really his prerogative. He may not feel comfortable marrying a couple he has never met in person. You wouldn't expect a notary to do a video conference with you so they could sign your passport papers, and this is a bigger deal than a passport. Not trying to tell you you're wrong for being stressed and upset. Just giving you perspective. Maybe you could offer to fly him out to you? It's a stretch, but you never know?
  • edited December 2011
    But he HAS met us in person when we met with him 2 years ago to go over my fiance's annulment procedures with him. Plus, the priest has known me since I was little and he sees my Mom at mass every week and knows some of my extended family from being at a parish in another town. Can't he give us some kind of break. I eman you can't go through with planning the whole wedding and then 2 months prior say to him that we can't come out to meet you and have him go "well you can't have the wedding here then".
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    So, give him a call and explain that you aren't sure it's logistically/monetarily feasible to make a special trip out there 2 months prior. See if he can meet with you guys closer to the wedding. I am assuming you will both need to be in town together at some point to get your marriage license, etc. Maybe you can set something up around that timing? Let him know you are willing to do whatever he needs via phone/email, etc in the meantime. You've said he's known you for a long time, so hopefully he can work it out with you. If not, perhaps you can cut back on other areas of the wedding to free up the funds? Not ideal, but you gotta do what you gotta do to make it work.
  • edited December 2011
    Are you just posting here to vent, or are you expecting us to override what your priest said? I understand that it is expensive, but traveling back is something you take on when you decide to have a wedding somewhere other than where you live.  Yeah, maybe he used to know you, and he met your FI once two years ago, but if he wants to meet with the two of you in person again before the wedding, that's his right.  I get that you don't like it, but too bad.
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