Catholic Weddings

question?

FI is Catholic, I am not. I talked with his mom and him last week and I think I am going to convert. So we thougth about having a wedding at the Catholic church the weekend before we are actually getting married and apparently then we can have someone from the church marry us on the beach the following weekend. So if we get married in the church on April 17th and on the beach April 24th, the date we are married is going to be April 17th? Does anyone plan on doing this or not?

Re: question?

  • edited December 2011
    That sounds like an interesting plan. I don't plan on doing this and I don't really understand how this works. Marriage in the Church is a sacrament and is almost always done inside the church walls. You can only get married once (unless your spouse dies)...who from the Church would 'marry' you on the beach? I think it sounds neat to have a beach wedding though!
  • meltoinemeltoine
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
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    edited December 2011
    Glad you are thinking of converting! Welcome :-)According to the Church, you can only have one wedding. The wedding in the church will be the wedding - you can have some sort of ceremony on the beach later if you want, but it won't be a wedding and the church probably won't send someone. If both partners are Catholic, the wedding must take place in a Church.FWI- converting is a long process, so if I were you I would get started on that right away. Usually you have to attend classes once per week for most of the school year, then you will be baptised on Easter (Which is April 4th next year) So you would be Catholic in time for the wedding, you just need to get the ball rolling on that soon. Ask at the church about RCIA (the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults)
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  • ag.4.24.10ag.4.24.10
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for your help! My FMIL was telling me that they can send someone from the church to perform the ceremony at the beach but I don't really know. She was going to call and find out for me. I think the classes start in September but not sure yet. Luckily I will have time to do it before the wedding but I am waiting on her to make the call for me. I asked FI who I need to call and he said I thought mom was going to call. I don't like waiting on people to do things for me, I would rather do them myself but his mom said she would so I will just have to ask her I guess.
  • edited December 2011
    whether the church can send someone and if they will are two separate things, I'm the Catholic in my relationship(Fi is a non practicing Episcopal) I was told by both my reception venue and my church that the only way the Catholic church will do the ceremony outside of the church is if you have a special circumstance(like if someone in your family is handicapped and the church has many stairs and no ramp access or something like that).  As for converting my Fi is planning on converting as well but probably not until after the wedding because it is a nine month program and personally I think it will be too much on our plates to try to do all that in one time period.  If you're getting married in April and Easter is April 4th and you choose to go ahead with converting think about all the things you are going to be doing to get ready for your wedding in february/march and then add to that stuff things you're going to have to do for the classes. 
  • ag.4.24.10ag.4.24.10
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    edited December 2011
    I thought about that too. My FMIL is going to call tomorrow so I will see what I need to do. The classes are only 1 day a week so I think I can do that. I am pretty ahead of the game on wedding stuff, and our wedding is going to be very simple. I guess I will just have to see. Hopefully it won't be too stressful
  • meltoinemeltoine
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
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    edited December 2011
    Sounds like you have a good handle on things - good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    Congratulations on thinking of converting. I'm a recent convert to the church. I went through the RCIA process last year and was baptized and recieved the sacraments on April 11, 2009, it was a very special process, and while the classes usually do only last 1 night a week, most will require you to attend a mass on Sunday and then go to dismissal (after the homily, catechumans and candidates are dismissed to reflect on the readings from that day). I'm in no way trying to discourage you from converting but it's definitely a very heavy process and you should know that there are generally more commitments than just the 1 night a week meetings. In fact, we had a 2-day overnight retreat the weekend before the Easter Vigil. Sounds like your wedding will only be two-three weeks after the Easter Vigil, I just dont' want to see you overwhelmed and not having enough time to complete all you need to do. Good luck with everything and if you have any questions about RCIA feel free to ask me. It's all very fresh in my mind :)
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
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    edited December 2011
    i guess i'm confused.  if you are planning to convert, then why wouldnt you just have your wedding day ceremony in the church, provided its available?  i think once you go through the conversion process, you will see how important this is, and you will want to proudly show your faith and share it with your friends and family.
  • ag.4.24.10ag.4.24.10
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    edited December 2011
    We already booked a lot of things for the beach wedding. We did this first(back in March) and I just now decided to convert.
  • ag.4.24.10ag.4.24.10
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    edited December 2011
    smalled15- Is that your email address? If so can I email you?
  • edited December 2011
    your beach wedding wouldnt really be a wedding then, it would just be a celebration ceremony.  you'd already be married in the eyes of the church.  why not just have your reception at the beach, and get married in the church?  why do you think you need two weddings?
  • ag.4.24.10ag.4.24.10
    100 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    Because we already booked everything for the beach wedding. The Church wedding is just going to be immdeiate family(it isn't going to cost us anything) and the beach wedding is for everyone.
  • edited December 2011
    MY FI is Catholic and I am not as well. I however do not know whether or not I plan to convert. I do know that you have to be married inside the church for your wedding to be recognized by the Catholic church. (all which have been told to me by the priest who did our preparation) You could always do what my FIL's did. They actually got married under my FMIL's religion which was not Catholic. They renewed their vows inside the Catholic church and she has converted. If you wanted to stick with your beach themed wedding, see if your FI is on board with marrying on the beach and renewing your vows inside the Catholic church at a later date.We are getting married inside the church because I have not had a "home" church since before leaving for College. My mother wants us to have a preacher from her religion present at the wedding. I am not sure how to incorporate that or if it is allowed. We go for our final meeting in September for our October 10th wedding. Hope this helps and good luck with all your planning.
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