Marriage Blessed in the Church

AutumnEnchantment

Does anyone have any information about the process or requirements to have your marriage blessed in the Catholic Church?  I'm Catholic and have just began my wedding planning for a wedding planned for 10/2011.  My fiance is not Catholic and together we have a six year old son so I fear I'll recieve many rejections from the Church itself to marry us - although I'm keeping my fingers crossed and venturing into that, as it is my first choice.

baystateapple

First off -- are you having your marriage blessed or getting married?  Having your marriage blessed means that you were married before and you're having it convalidated in the Church.  If you aren't married yet, you're getting married in the Church.  You'll need a dispensation from the Bishop of the diocese for your FI if he's not Catholic.  And you'll have to attend pre-cana (but all Catholics who marry in the church do, so that's no different).  You may meet some opposition from individuals, but overall, the Church would rather you be married that just living with someone.  Best of luck to you!

AutumnEnchantment

Thank you for your response.  My first inclination is just to be married IN the church if possible and I'm currently checking into that where I live now.  I'm trying to look at it from every aspect, that if one should decline...then I certainly would like to go the other route of just having it blessed.

september's bride

Hmm. This is a touchy thing, only because a convalidation might not be granted either, if the church has declined to marry you in the first place. Our pre-cana leaders spoke of more than one occasion where that has happened, where the diocese declined to convalidate a marriage because it didn't approve it to begin with. I don't think that kind of problem is all that common, but keep in mind that convalidation isn't guaranteed, and you're at the mercy of your diocese. In all honesty, I doubt you will encounter any problems being married in the church anyway. At the end of the day, they're more interested in making your relationship "right" before God, and they'll most likely marry you without too many hoops to jump through.Good luck! Keep us updated.

Leah&Christian09

You'll want to talk to your priest asap.  I've heard rumors that conservative churches will refuse to marry someone that lives together (or has a kid), but I've never seen it actually happen.  My H and I were very honest about having lived together before we married, and our church had no issue with it.  For most people that I've talked to, they are delighted to find that the church is very welcoming to their situations.To either get married in the church or have a convalidation, you'll have to go through the pre-cana process.  Most churches ask for at least 6 months notice to begin.  If you can, it's best to just get married in the church.  If you choose to get married outside of the church, the church won't recognize your marriage until you have a convalidation.  Convalidations are often granted where a couple converts or has been away from the church and is returning, but it seems that they aren't as willing when the couple says "well, we just wanted to get married outside."  This is up to the specific priest/parish, so you'll want to talk to the priest asap and figure out what is best for your situation.

meltoine

The Church won't refuse to marry you because you have a child. Some more conservative pastors require that people who are living together separate residence for a time before the wedding, but many don't. Is your fiance baptised? If he was baptised into another Christian church you won't have a problem getting married in the Church. If he is not baptised, you will need a dispensation. Since you are a Catholic, you must be married in the Church for your marriage to be recognised by the Church (unless you are marrying a non-baptised person and have received a dispensation). The Church will not bless your marriage later if you are married outside the Church without a dispensation.

mbcdefg

I have a lot of friends who have children (either with the person they were marrying, or from a previous relationship) and were allowed to marry in the Church. So you will not necessarily be turned away for having a child together. Your best bet, before you really dive into planning, is to schedule a meeting with your priest and hammer out the ceremony details. Don't worry about the reception or colors or Save The Dates or anything else until you figure out where you stand in terms of a Catholic ceremony (if that is what you want).

AutumnEnchantment

Thank you to everyone who responded.  I got my emails back and I was just stressing!  Turns out I don't have to be worried like I thought! I'm going to make a meeting next week to talk it all out.