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Catholic Weddings

selecting readers?

Hello everyone,I havent posted on this board before, but i thought it was the best place to go.  FI and I are having trouble choosing readers for our wedding.  To me its very important to choose people that have meaning in our lives, to  him he thinks it just depends on if they can speak well to a crowd or not.  I was just wondering how others decided on their readers?  Am i being too picky about this? Should I just agree to what he says or no? Originally we weren't going to have anyone in the wedding party do a reading, but the more i thought about it, all of the important friends in my life are in the wedding party...I feel like i can't get full into reception planning until I have everything set from the church aspect!  Thanks for opinions....

Re: selecting readers?

  • bel138bel138 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, we chose someone who could do it well. But ours involves more than reading; there's a particular cadence to the chant used. I would pick people who you are close with. I mean, how bad can they be at reading? If they aren't comfortable with public speaking, they'll probably decline.
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  • ring_popring_pop member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Why can't you consider BOTH factors? Think of the people who are close to you. Then, out of those, think of the ones who would be comfortable doing a reading.(You can have WP members doing readings, but for us, the readings were actually a great opportunity to give a role to important people who weren't in the WP.) If they aren't comfortable with public speaking, they'll probably decline.Yeah, that. Exactly.
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  • edited December 2011
    Oh i definately agree with the aspect of how well they may do with the public speaking, but i dont think i should have to base it soley on that-and i also agree if who we choose is not comfortable they will decline, and i would compeltely understand... Thankfully our readings are simple and short so im hoping whomever we choose they wont decline...i think maybe ill have us write sperate lists and see if we can agree on anyone...i think maybe i just needed to vent out my stress...thanks
  • edited December 2011
    DH's god father and my godmother each did a reading.
  • edited December 2011
    I asked my older sister, she declined, then I asked my younger sister and she declined. They really just didn't want to speak in front of everyone. So, yes, I agree that if the person isn't comfortable they'll decline.That being said, we didn't give the boys an option.  So, I told my brother in law he was reading, I told my Dad he was reading and Robert told his brother in law he was reading.  ALL members of the wedding party.  And I gave them their reading the week before so they could practice if they wanted to.
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You pick one and he picks the other. Boom, done. I said that maybe we should pick one family member form my side to do a reading, one from his side to do another reading, and then choose mutual friends to do any other readings (Prayer of the Faithful) and bring up the gifts.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto ring_pop. Think of both! I'm choosing my godmother, and she happens to be a reader too. My fiance chose one of his close college friends who is not in the wedding party and who is a good speaker. I figure that reading positions are a good opportunities to honor some people who are close to you but are not in your wedding party.
  • edited December 2011
    mbcdefg- i've decided on just that, i picked my best friend ( she is in my wp, but not my MOH) whom i am hoping she says yes, but ill understand if she says no -due to the whole reading in public thing (i dont think i could do it, i personally wouldn't decline because i have done such things in the past but i know the nerves!!!!!).  He is going to pick whomever he chooses, and for the prayer of the faithful we have chosen a mutual friend who we feel should be part of the wedding.  i think this will make everyone  happy for the most part...
  • edited December 2011
    There are a few people I didn't pick to be in my WP that are very important to me, so I will asking them to do readings. If they decline, accept they may be uncomfortable and pick someone else.  I think having someone read that's not in the WP will make them feel included. The WP is already chosen to stand up with you and honour you on your big day. Why not have someone who's not already given a task to do something special for you? Just my opinion. ;)
  • edited December 2011
    we chose two people close to us and that were both catholic, so that when spoke, it wasn't just words, they believed what they were speaking.  i could care less how they said it, although both did an excellent job (and one reads in church every week).
  • kmiller1012kmiller1012 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We decided by we each got to choose someone we wanted and the third person was someone we are both close with.  I chose my cousin, she is only 17 so I told her if she wasn't comfortable she didn't have to do it, and then my aunt would have.  I think you definitely want to take both into consideration, but I think someone important to you should get priority.
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