Quick question re: Catholic Ceremony Vows

imJacksPGbelly

Are the bride and groom allowed to write/read their own vows in a Catholic ceremony?  I know a lot of it is the liturgy, but when it comes to vows, does it have to be the traditional, or can they be personalized?

Theresa626

You are not allowed to write your own vows. However, in my Together for Life book which was given to me by the church to help plan my wedding mass, it has a section where you can read personalized letters to each other and in those letters you could put personal promises similar to vows as long as the priest approves of them.  But, it's still up to your priest because my preist doesn't agree with that section of the together for life book and doesn't want that added.

Riss91

I've never heard of couples reading other vows. Maybe your priest would let you add those in, but it doesn't seem likely to me.

ExpatPumpkin

No, I don't think so.  But you can design your ceremony by picking the vows and readings you like best from Together for Life.

ring_pop

I was allowed to write my own vows as long as they contained the components of the traditional vows, but we chose not to. My church is quite liberal. Ask your priest to be sure.

[Deleted User]

No, I don't think you can write your own vows. You just choose your readings to reflect what you are trying to convey to your guests.

mcdol3

Our church will let us write our own, but they must be approved by the priest.
We aren't going to for the ceremony.
We are going to write our own and deliever them at the reception to each other though.

mbcdefg

We were allowed to write a set of vows that we could read to each other before the standard, "I X take you Y to be my husband" Catholic vows. They wouldn't replace the standard vows, just precede them.

Our priest said he'd have to approve them beforehand and they'd have to contain both positive and negative elements like the standard ones do (for example, "I will stand by you in sunshine and in rain, I will share your laughter and your tears," etc.).

We opted not to write our own, though, and will just recite the standard vows. So ask your priest if this is an option - it seems to vary by parish.

imJacksPGbelly

Awesome.  Thanks for all the quick feedback.