Gap between Mass and Reception

flutgrl1

The only weddings I have ever been to with a gap were NOT catholic. and for the record...everyone complained (As we got drunker and drunken) during the gap.

flutgrl1

Honestly, next gap wedding I am invited to, I would only attend the reception most likely. I can't justify wasting time doing nothing I guess.

ootmother2

ah, pop, calypso is quite the rebel here

Calypso1977

not a rebel, OOT,  just practical. 

ootmother2

M& her H bought a condo in Southie three months before the wedding.  They used the money from thier wedding gifts for the down payment. (parents lent for the interim) They sold it for a profit and moved to Hingham this year.  They are still happily married and expecting their second child in May.

impractical?  no

foolhardy? no

planning their life well?  yes

They are young and both quite successful in their careers.  They didn't run off and get married the minute they fell in love either.

I don't see the problem here.

ring_pop

Eh, my friends and I always have a good time hanging out together during the gap. Guess we're just happy to be there, as Calypso would say.

ootmother2

It's much easier to have fun than sulk, pop

Enjoy what you have.  and that's the truth

mromag1

 I  think the gap between mass and reception are a cultural thing.  My Fi dated a New England girl for four years and her wedding traditions where different than the south's

This is what she told me:

- mass where always in the morning and then bridal party would go back to the bride's home to celebrate and take picture

-different people where invited to the mass and reception

- girls are expected to change dresses between mass and the reception if invited to both 

- reception are formal sit down dinner at night and last six hours

I am having a 3pm mass and the reception starts at 4:15

- we are having a 4 hour reception and its southern buffet style which is the standard

-same people go to the mass and reception 

I sure not all my facts are right about New England wedding traditions but I finding it all interesting.

ring_pop

Calypso, you may not have cared what people thought about the style of your wedding, but you obviously did care what they thought of the gap. It just turns out that what mattered to you, didn't matter to me as much, and vice versa.

None of us are rude or inconsiderate people, and I believe that we all made choices that we felt were in the best interests of OUR guests. I fully accept that some of you think that my priorities were wrong, but you weren't invited to my wedding. Had you been, I would have considered your needs more carefully.

Look, I'm not trying to convince anyone that a gap is a great idea. I don't even think it is, which is why (given the chance) I avoided it. I just don't think that if I had chosen, say, a gap over an afternoon reception, that my guests would have made as huge a deal out of it as some of are you making it out to be.

Calypso1977

oot your daughter doesnt fit into the category of having a wedding she (you?) couldn't afford.   but my point was that many people do have weddings they cant afford simply becuase they feel they have to keep up with joneses.  i know people that are still paying for weddings long after the ink on the divorce papers is signed.  but this mentality spreads to many areas not just weddings.  one look at the mortgage crisis will tell you that. 

at any rate, this is all unrelated now to the gap issue.  on a side note, congrats on the new grandbaby - you must be very excited.

ootmother2

When I want to college, back in the dark ages, logic and philosopy were required.  Guess the logic got tossed at some point although I know Boston College still requires it.

Major FAIL on logic here Calypso

alliecarrie41

gaps blow, but if you really cannot help them, your guests will deal.  do not move your cocktail hour or dinner any further than you need to.  if anything try and make it earlier.  trust me, no one cares if your dancing ends at 10 or midnight.  it's all the same when you're drinking indoors. 

Jay+Marissa

Good Grief--I think we need a sticky warning people what will transpire if they ask about a gap.

That being said--it's a gap. Avoid it if you can, if not, do what you can to be considerate to your guests and move on. If someone is really that offended by it--enough to skip the reception--then that is their choice. (and you probably wont miss them anyway)

EmilyinAZ

My 2 cents: The wedding day is YOUR (and YOUR FIANCE'S) day. Your guests come to witness you two getting married and are happy to celebrate with you. Even if they have to find something to do during a gap, it is ONE day...a couple of hours, and if they are so inconvenienced/put out by that, then why are they even there?

I will be getting married next June and we will have a gap. This board has actually given me some good ideas as to what to do with the guests! I like the coffe/tea room and cash bar at the hotel.  I think most of my guests are used to a gap and won't think anything of it.

EmilyinAZ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_gap-between-mass-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:316c2239-7ca9-4f64-9f4a-127dce7f7925Post:ee03ea39-d73c-41a3-8b4c-d98508087e8a">Re: Gap between Mass and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]gaps blow, but if you really cannot help them, your guests will deal.  do not move your cocktail hour or dinner any further than you need to.  if anything try and make it earlier.  trust me, no one cares if your dancing ends at 10 or midnight.  it's all the same when you're drinking indoors. 
Posted by alliecarrie41[/QUOTE]
 Good point! When you are having fun, drinking indoors, it doesn't matter if things end at 10 pm or midnight or 2 am!