Full mass- FI not Catholic?

smccart7

So I'm Catholic and my FI is Hindu, from Nepal. We are planning on having a church ceremony, but I'm not sure what views are on having a full mass (mainly the Eucharist). I told my mom I didn't feel it was necessary since we are having a Friday evening wedding, and FI is not Catholic so would not be receiving. My understanding was that celebrating the Eucharist as a part of your wedding ceremony was to celebrate receiving it for the first time as a couple. However, Mom seriously disagrees with me on that- and says that I should also be celebrating with our community/family etc. What have others done in this situation? What would you suggest?

SaraAndrew2010

Generally when either the bride or groom is not Catholic, they are encouraged to have a Catholic wedding without a mass.  A wedding is supposed to be about the unity of husband and wife.  When one of couple can't participate in communion, it doesn't seem very united.  Particularly since your FI is not Christian, I think it would make more sense to not have the mass.  You're still celebrating your marriage with the community by having a Catholic ceremony and inviting them there.

ring_pop

Ditto SaraAndrew 100% - I couldn't have said it better!

smccart7

Thanks ladies...I'll have to have another chat with my mom!

agapecarrie

The church doesn't allow a full mass wedding when the future spouse is not baptized. A full mass wedding is an option only when both are baptized.

habanew

Since your Fiance is not baptized, you will not be having a Sacramental marriage, but a natural one. I hope this might help some, I am taking confirmation classes now, and we've discussed it. You will also need a dispensation.

[Deleted User]

I ditto SaraAndrew2010 100%. You should not have communion if FI is not Catholic and furthermore, if he is not Christian, I wouldn't suggest it.

berrytr

Full mass can be accomplished if FI is baptized.  I am having a full mass; FI is a baptized Christian but not Catholic.  I agree with habanew.

AutumnEnchantment

In my situation, I'm Catholic and the FI is not.  We're not doing a mass as part of our ceremony.

Lindze75

Ditto SaraAndrew2010.

Fi and I are not doing a full mass since he is not Catholic.  He is baptized but the priest explained his suggestion to us just as SaraAndrew2010 just did.

My mom still protested saying that others there would like to have communion and we should have it for them.  I told her that our wedding ceremony is for us not them so too bad for them.  I was a little snappy but we were in front of  my florist and coordinator and I didn't think it was appropriate for her to have had a fit then.  That kept her quiet and it hasn't come up since.

agapecarrie

Actually, a Catholic wedding liturgy (with or without mass) is not just for the couple. It is indeed for all attending as witnesses to the marriage. Every single detail in a liturgy (down to the priest opening his hands during a prayer) has deep theological meaning for the congregation in participating in the liturgy.

When one of the people is not Catholic it is usually a wise decision to not have a mass, and everyone should respect that decision, but it is not correct to say "the wedding is for the couple and not the congregation".

Lindze75

agapecarrie - I understand completely that the ceremony is also for the congregation and that's why it's important that we gather as a community for it.  When I say "too bad for them" I refer only to the people who would give a side eye to not having the full mass since most of the congregation will not be Catholic.  I think that our decision not to have a full mass (though we based it mostly on FI) is considerate to the largest amount of guests present.  (PS - I don't say this snooty as I realize tone is hard to read.)

Although, when talking to the priest his suggestion to skip the eucharist had nothing to do with the congregation and everything to do with our union and the ceremony between the two of us.

iamapixie

I have to disagree with those saying it is inappropriate for a Catholic/non-Catholic couple to have a full mass. The fact that my fiance isn't Catholic doesn't change my love and adoration for the Eucharist and I did not consider for a minute not having a full mass on account of him being Methodist. Additionally, I have friends who are Jewish, Athiest, Agnostic and have no interest in attending a Catholic mass, but this wedding isn't about them and their comfort level

In this particular situation, I'm not sure what the rules are about non-Christian/Catholic weddings. You probably want to talk with your parish about it before jumping to any conclusions. I don't know much about Hinduism, but is there a way you guys could possibly have an officiant from his side as well?