The scheduling the prep for our Catholic Wedding

COSmitty

Well FI and I have finally met with the local church.... So our diococese here requires 3 different parts/classes we need to do... I'm all for the preparation and process but it's getting a little rediculous. We have the FOCUS inventory with the church we are going through to do the prep... we will do classes at 2 other parishes in 2 other counties in order to do them in the next few months.

So we are up to talking to 2 dioceses, 5 churches we are doing active things with, plus 2 parishes for the baptismal certificates that we get to obtain 2 different times (once for each diocese since they have different requirements). I really pictured doing the preparation with one church, get to know other couples in the parish, tie into the community, etc.

catarntina

Where in Colorado are you???

I did not have this issue, and I was getting married in another state.  I did all my pre-cana here in Colorado.  DH and I got our baptism certificates and only sent it to the 1 church here, and the deacon of the church handled all the paperwork and shipped it off to Ohio for me.

I see your wedding isn't until May 2012.  Why are you going through so many churches?  Does your church not offer pre-cana?

doctabroccoli

Does the Diocese not offer Pre-Cana?

HandBanana

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_scheduling-prep-catholic-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:4c41da1a-66c8-4da1-afc1-568c15123ac4Post:644cafa7-ced2-44ed-b4b9-f4b5dbac74a8">The scheduling the prep for our Catholic Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Well FI and I have finally met with the local church.... So our diococese here requires 3 different parts/classes we need to do... I'm all for the preparation and process but it's getting a little rediculous. We have the FOCUS inventory with the church we are going through to do the prep... we will do classes at 2 other parishes in 2 other counties in order to do them in the next few months. So we are up to talking to 2 dioceses, 5 churches we are doing active things with, plus 2 parishes for the baptismal certificates that we get to obtain 2 different times (once for each diocese since they have different requirements). I really pictured doing the preparation with one church, get to know other couples in the parish, tie into the community, etc.
Posted by COSmitty[/QUOTE]

Okay so I had to read this a few times.

I had to go to one church for my baptismal certificate, another for my confirmation certificate.  We had to register for Pre Cana with our Archdiocese.

I'm not suer why you are involving so many diocese and churches other than baptismal records and confirmation records and possibly if the priest presiding over your wedding is not the same as the priest from the church you are being married in.

I don't know of a church holding its own Pre Cana with only members of its church.  Most Pre Canas that I know of are done through the diocese.

COSmitty

We are in the Denver Metro area. I am from SoCal origionally so I'm used to that diococese. My parents hosted evenings for the engaged (a pre-cana program) so where I came from they usually kept everything in parish and there was no separate NFP requirement. 

We are getting married at my high school chapel (small, intimate, and dear to my heart) which is managed by one parish in SoCal. Our priest will be from the parish I grew up at, have attended as an adult, and he's a family friend. SoCal and CO have different requirements so we are trying to honor both.

As for why now... we have tough schedules professionally and this part of the year is the most reliable for being in the office and not randomly getting stuck on a construction stie till midnight (him) or traveling (me).  I want to make sure we have time to dedicate to fulfilling each step.

catarntina

I find it odd that the Diocese in SoCal has stricter requirements than the Archdiocese of Denver.

I'm also in the Archdiocese of Denver, and we had to pre-cana through our church (some couples were from a different church in the area.  They just combined us -- so it's through the diocese).  It was 4 Sundays for 3 hours a day.

Then we had to do an NFP class which was 3 months, 1 time a month, for 2 hours each time.

We had to take the FOCCUS inventory and get some other paperwork, but really ... that wasn't a big deal.  The FOCCUS inventory lasted about 30-45 minutes.  I was baptized in Ohio, my husband was baptized in St. Lous. We just contacted the respective church's and they handled it processing our baptismal certificates.

After everything was done, the deacon sent it off to the Bishop who sent it to the diocese in Toledo, OH where were getting married at.  No problems.  We had to technically deal with 3 diocese, 3 churches, and an archives department.

What more does the diocese in SoCal need you to do that won't be filled by the above requirements?  From what I understand, Denver has stricter requirements than most dioceses.  So you really shouldn't have to do much more than this to fulfill their requirements.  The priest in Ohio was willing to accept what I did for pre-cana in Denver.  He actually made a joke about how it was the strictest marriage prep program he'd ever seen during the homily at our marriage ceremony.

COSmitty

Oh- San Diego is way more chill than here in Denver. SoCal just wants a baptismal certificate within 6 months of the wedding and the church here wanted it now (to offically register us and do pre-canna).

So instead of having our church here handle that we will be requesting the certificates again and forwarding them on to make sure all is kosher.

All in all it's working out okay but I'm having to turn down a few training opportunities for the scheduling.Meh- I'd rather be married than have the opportunity to expand my technical skills.

bibliophile2010

Phoenix has within the last couple of years adopted a program virtually identical to Denver's, so I know what you ladies are going through.

FWIW, I think that parishes and diocese are getting away from Evenings for the Engaged, and turning to day and weekend retreats instead. I think that those are easier for people to commit to, require fewer resources, and allow more control over the material, hopefully ensuring that it has a true Catholic perspective. Heck, Phoenix is even getting away from Engaged Encounter and doing its own retreat, and I've wondered if it is because of some of the issues (NFP etc.) ladies here have mentioned.

OP, I think, when it comes down to it, you're overthinking this. Lots of girls need to do a lot of these things, and most of them are no big deal. For example, since my H was baptized across the country, all he needed to do was make a phone call, and his baptism certificate was in the mail. Take it one step at a time, and enjoy it. As you said, being married is worth all the trouble!