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Foccus Test

oaklieoaklie
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in Catholic Weddings

I just spoke with the person at my church and we are signing up to take the Foccus test this week.  I'm a little nervous, but at least things are moving and I will be able to set my date.  Is it as scary as I am making it out to be?  What if we do not answer all of the questions the same?

I went through the annulment process because I was previously married.  I was just awarded nullity I guess you would call it. What a long and painful process. But at least that is over now and we can get on with the happy stuff!

I will probably be on here a lot asking a bunch of questions, because I am a new Catholic and I don't know too much about the Catholic wedding process.

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Brian & Laurie
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Re: Foccus Test

  • SaraAndrew2010SaraAndrew2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome!

    We haven't taken the FOCUS, but from what I hear you shouldn't worry about it too much. It's not really a test.  Think of it more as a tool to identify areas that you and your FI might need to discuss more before marriage.  You certainly don't have to answer every single question the same.  It's normal not to agree on everything.
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  • akg0053akg0053 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We just took our FOCCUS not too long ago. 

    The test itself is totally fine. It asks some questions about how you feel about things, and your answer choices are agree, disagree, or undecided.

    The questions are mainly designed to get you and your FI to think about the aspects of marriage that couples might not normally talk about. It's a good tool for opening the lines of communication. If you and your FI disagree about a lot of things, the person doing the marriage prep with you will sit down with you so that you and your FI can discuss it.

    I have heard of couples having so many things that they disagreed on that it required 8 separate meetings with their deacon to talk everything out. I have also heard of people only having one other meeting discussing the FOCCUS answers, so you will totally fine.

    Just remember to read the questions carefully, and answer as honestly as possible. You can't fail it, so answer it honestly.

    Have fun!
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  • akg0053akg0053 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh...

    I also live in Houston. And welcome! And congrats on your annulment!
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  • camarogirljcamarogirlj
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was concerned about the FOCCUS evaluation as well, but it really was no big deal.  Out of the questions we had around 20 that we had to discuss at our follow-up meeting with our couple and priest.  Most of those were my soon-to-be husband marking the "not certain/unsure" because he didn't want his "agree/disagree" answers to be construed in the wrong way.  I think there may have been one question where I put agree and he put disagree, but it was not a big deal.  There is nothing to worry about Smile
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp's. Don't freak out about it. Just take it, answer honestly and then you will discuss it with the priest. It is more of a tool for them to use so that they can discuss with you guys where issues may be or where you could have issues in the future. Welcome into the Church and congrats on your upcoming wedding.
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  • chubbybunnychubbybunny member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I wasn't as nervous about filling it out as I was about talking to the priest about it afterwards. But even that wasn't bad!

    The way I see it, since you're marrying him, you likely already know the issues that you and you fiance have. When we sat down with the priest to go over our answers, the only things that he highlighted were the concerns we already knew we needed to work on. Otherwise, it was all pretty much status quo.

    Also, a lot of it is subjective, which I think someone alluded to earlier. We'd have differences in some questions only because my fiance interpreted it a different way than I did. And that's okay, it gets you talking. Good luck, and don't worry :) I think it's actually a useful exercise!
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It was fine, no big deal. As long as you and your FI have talked about normal relationship things - finances, children, family, faith - you should have no problem.

    Our priest didn't even discuss it with us. He just looked at the results and said, "Have you discussed your faith with each other?" (which I'm guessing we answered differently on because I attend regular Masses while FI does not), and we said that we've talked about it, and that was that.
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  • akg0053akg0053 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    *that might normally talk about. 

    Oops sorry.
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  • oaklieoaklie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow...thank you so much ladies.  I really appriceate the advice.  I didn't know that you had to talk to the priest afterwards.  That is kindof scary.  But we have been together for 4 years now, and we know our issues.  If all it takes is discussing our issues with the priest, then I am sure we will be fine. I'm so excited now! This is the first big step in planning my wedding!
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  • kimbo2kimbo2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i did the focus test a few months ago, and it was totally fine. it was actually cool to see how we both felt about things, and to feel comfortable talking about it. It is also a great way to introduce the engagement encounter you will go on. And, its normal not to answer all the questions the same! you will do great!
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  • akg0053akg0053 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was really excited about the test actually and thought it would be a really positive experience. The test itself was cool actually.

    FI and I have also been together for 4 years, and usually in that amount of time you have talked at least some about everything that was on there.

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  • ChrissyDipiChrissyDipi
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We took the focus test a few months ago as well, except we met with another couple that our priest assigned to us. They were the nicest couple. We sat with them and chatted a bit then they gave us the test. We met with them one more time to go over the results and talk about where our differences were. It was no big deal and kind of fun. I think our biggest difference was in family (Inlaws) and finance - but it was mostly because we read the questions differently. I thought it meant one thing and FI thought it meant another.

    It will be easy

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