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Meeting the Priest

kttestkttest member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
What is the first meeting with the priest like? Is it really like a meet and greet and getting a date or is there more to it than that?  I don't know why but I'm a little nervous about it!

Someone told me not to mention that we have been already looking at venues, because they get upset.

Any thoughts, or words of advice??
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Re: Meeting the Priest

  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ours was somewhat informal.  he already knew us as we were regular parishioners.  if you are both catholic, it will be a breeze.  if one of you isnt, there may be additonal questions/clarifications.

    he asked us some basics about what type of ceremony we wanted, what our time frame was, and then he went through a questionnaire with us about our freedom to marry, teh sacraments we've already received, etc. he had us meet individually with him to do the quesionnaire, the rest of it we met with him as a couple.

    its fine to be looking at venues, but you really should be booking the church first.  however, he doesnt really care where you do your reception anyway, as that part is irrelevant so i cant see why he'd get upset, unless you go in and demand a date soley because you've already put money down somewhere.  

    he'll most likely explain how pre-cana will work, as far as what classes, if any, he wants you to take.  ours was simple, just three meetings with him, others do all kinds of stuff.

    at thsi time, you can ask about whatever fees, etc. are expected of you.  also, if you plan to have mass, ask if he'll provide the altar boys or if you need to find some to ask.  ask abotu attire - many churches dont allow strapless gowns for example. 

    above all else, be honest.  dont lie to him about anything. 
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  • kttestkttest member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you, we are both Catholic so hopefully it will be a simple meeting. :)
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  • e_jakielae_jakiela
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We were nervous too, mostly because we haven't been going to church nearly as much as we should. We also live together and we were worried we will get scolded for that. Monsignor at St. Margaret's in Pearl River, where we will be getting married, is one of those priests who put you at ease just when they look at you and smile. He is super nice, understanding and easy going. He did not say anything about us living together, and even told us to first look at the places we like, and what dates they have open and then come to him.  It was really nice.
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  • kttestkttest member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's pretty much our situation exactly!  The priest that we are meeting with know's my FH's parents since they are regular parishioners. FH's mom said he is nice and funny and not at all stuffy. Here's hoping!
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  • tnspighttnspight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    When we met with fr, I was nervous, too.  He asked us why we wanted to get married and why in the church, how we met.  He talked to us about the sacrament of marriage and support of other parishoners.  Father also expained what our sessions would be like and gave us the FOCCUS test to complete at thome.  Oh, and he completed a form with each of us alone.  It was just basic info about us.  I wasn't sure why we couldn't be in the room together.  We felt completely at ease and FI even agreed to start going with me to church.  HTH and GL
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  • alliecarrie41alliecarrie41 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ours was very informal, besides just saying hi really and setting the date, it was just walking through what we'd have to do (pre-cana, 3 meetings, etc.) and handed us those books with the readings and wrote in our names on the worksheet and called it a night. 
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  • kttestkttest member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone!  We met with the priest tonight and it all went fine, the funny thing though was that he seemed to expect that we had a date all set already!  Oh well, now if we can just decide which venue to book and when we'll be all set!
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  • cukimerrydollcukimerrydoll member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ours was awesome.  We took the compatibility survey when we met with other couples (I guess that's pretty standard in our area).  So we mostly just talked about it, compared our answers and talked mostly about marriage instead of the wedding itself.

    I know him pretty well, since I'm active in the parish.  He and I have most of the same ideas on what should happen in the wedding, so it made it really easy and super laid back.

    I'm almost sad we don't have to meet again until the summer.
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