Question about convalidation

tiffersk_89

Hi girls, I'm new to this board, but I figured you guys would be the best place to go for this.

My FI and I are getting married outside of the church by my Lutheran pastor.  I was baptised as a Catholic, but confirmed as a Lutheran.  He was both baptized and confirmed as a Roman Catholic.  We originally wanted to do the whole church ceremony, but with a tight budget, that wasn't possible (neither of us are members of a Catholic church here, so everyone was asking for an arm and a leg to use their church).  Anyways, FI (and I to some extent) would like to have our marriage "approved" so he can still recieve communion and the sort.  I've been reading about convalidation ceremonies, which sound like they are right up our alley, I just have a couple questions:

1.) Do we still have to do the Pre-Caans sessions?  We're doing pre-marriage counciling through my pastor, but I don't know if we still have to do Pre-Caans.

2.) FI and I aren't having our ceremony for another month and a half, but do I start to contact a Catholic church now?  I really have no idea how to go about this.  We'd obviously do the convalidation ceremony after our original ceremony, but I don't know if I should start trying to figure this out with the local Roman Catholic church or wait until after the ceremony in a month and a half to contact the church.

Any information would be greatly appreciated.  I really want to do this for FI and his family, seeing as his family is still a little upset that we aren't having the whole church wedding for the original ceremony.

Riss91

I'd contact a priest right away because they don't always grant you a convalidation. Typically they are granted for those who needed to get legally married quickly and want to have their marriage recognized by the church, and not really for couples who decide to have an outside ceremony. If having the marriage recognized by the church is really important to you or your FI, I'd try to have the ceremony in a Catholic church in the first place. If you call enough churches and explain your financial situation, I'm sure there would be a church willing to forgo the costs or work something out. You could also do your marriage ceremony during a regularly scheduled mass, then there really wouldn't be any additional costs. But definitely contact a priest now to make sure your situation qualifies for convalidation.

MissAngel

You could have a weekday Catholic ceremony before your actual Lutheran wedding... but I agree with PP, you should contact the church as soon as possible.  I imagine they would still make you do parts of th Pre-Cana at least in addition to the FOCCUS test.
I would call before and not after the wedding so that you can say you were prepared.  If you wait until after, it may be "too late" and then there wouldn't be anything you can do about it.

Calypso1977

As Riss said, convalidations are usually only granted when a couple has been away from the Church for some time and decides to return later and would like their marriage valid.  They are really not meant to be used as  a way to have a wedding in another faith, outside, etc.

You will still have to do the usual pre-cana, etc. as it is a sacrament you will be receiving.

be prepared for some very hard questions about why you want to be married in teh Church, and if receiving communion, etc. is that important to you, why you are not being married in teh church to begin with.  your money argument most likely wont fly.  when you tell them you couldnt afford the non-member rate, they will want to know why you arent a member somewhere.  when you tell them you dont go to church, they may very well question why you want a catholic wedding in the first place if you arent practicing your faith currenlty.

Theresa626

Calypso, you don't know that they don't go to church regularly. I'm not a member of any church (or i wasn't before we decided to get married) and I never donated but we both went on a regular basis to church. We just felt it was important that we were there and that the money and paperwork was not important. 

boogerbearoriginal

Basically ditto what Riss & Calypso said. The process is designed for people who now want to actively participate in their faith and weren't doing so at the time of marriage. I don't know if most Priests will accept the money argument.

Here's an article from Catholic Update about the process: http://www.americancatholic.org/newsletters/cu/ac0604.asp

HTH!

WinterBrideAgain

I and DH are about to have our convalidation ceremony on May 19th. We just got the approval for our date from the diocese today. My annulment came through 5 years ago and DH's came through in October and finalized in December. We have been married 7 years and had to go through all the preparation classes and counseling just like a couple who had never married before. We started the convalidation process in January. This is a sacrement and the church views it that way not just "getting married in the church". Very serious business. Think long and hard about this because it is an investment of time and spirit to achieve a Convalidation through the Catholic Church.

Are you doing this for you as a couple? Are either of you regretting using another church to be married in? If yes, great! If no, then do not worry about it. Are you wanting to raise children Catholic and be able to participate with them? Wonderful! I regret that for the past 7 years I have not been able to participate fully in the church with our 4 children ( blended family ) but I attend every week and get involved as much as possible. I am actually giddy, nervous and excited about coming back into the church even more than our actual ceremony.  

Think long and hard about this.

Blessings!

Calypso1977

theresa, i assume they do not go to church regularly based on this statement:

(neither of us are members of a Catholic church here, so everyone was asking for an arm and a leg to use their church). 

mswood1977

Have you considered applying to the diocese for a dispention to marry outside of the church, this if approved would eliminated the need for convalidation later.