Engaged Encounter

e_jakiela

Hi Ladies.

I live in the Hudson Valley and FI and I wanted to participate in an Engaged Encounter weekend, instead of doing weekly pre-cana classes.  We have been super stressed with our recent move, my new job role, FI's unexpected trips to Atlanta... we decided to start thinking about booking an EE weekend in March. Here we are, and I see that the only EE weekend in NY Archdiocese is 7/16, less than a month before our wedding. I am sure this is too late

I don't know why, but I was under the impression that there was one every month, but there isn't.  There is a waiting list available and I am going to call tomorrow and add us in, but I am not sure if we will get it.  I am really upset about this. I should have stayed more on top of these things

Has anyone of you been on a waitlist and got into the EE weekend that was sold out?  What other pre-cana classes do you recommend? I don't want to do the weekday evenings, because I heard those are least effective... I have no idea what to do now

blackfire5th

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_engaged-encounter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:8e4515c5-e4f9-4cc9-a36a-04145b2e5916Post:e91bdb54-f9d2-494c-aceb-5ff7952e84ca">Engaged Encounter</a>:
[QUOTE] Has anyone of you been on a waitlist and got into the EE weekend that was sold out?  What other pre-cana classes do you recommend? I don't want to do the weekday evenings, because I heard those are least effective... I have no idea what to do now
Posted by e_jakiela[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree that it seems really strange that they don't offer one every month.  Would you be willing to look around or travel to another one?</div><div>
</div><div>As far as other pre-cana, I felt meeting with the priest during the week was more effective because he was able to tailor the meetings to us and focus on those specific issues.  While I really enjoyed EE, they cover a lot more subjects and a lot of the things we talked about were things that DH and I had already discussed in detail and agreed on, so we got pretty bored with a lot of it.  I will say that a lot of couples at our EE had not discussed a lot of those issues and kept talking about how great it was that they were learning all this stuff about each other.  Obviously you won't know if you are one of those couples until you go.  I would look into weeknight meetings at this point.  You can also take a marriage encounter weekend after you are married if you still want to go to one.</div>

Riss91

Hey! I'm from the HV too - we did a one-weekend pre-cana session in Cold Spring and it was really awesome. The session was really informative and the guy running it was terrific. This is the website we used to sign up. We did our session in July and were married in September. Our priest didn't require us to provide him the documentation until the rehearsal night, so you could possibly do it the month before. Let me know if you have any questions.

http://flrl.org/Registration.asp

Theresa626

My area only offered one four times a year and the first one we signed up for was cancelled so there was only one weekend that we could go to.  There weren't many choices. Fortunately, they told us this right away so we weren't surprised.  There is something you can do that is all day Sat and you don't have to sleep over night that is similar to the engaged encounter. They offer it more often.  Check and see if they have something like that in your area. 

bel138

The Byzantine Catholic Archeparchy only offers it once a year. Really convenient, huh? Anyhoo...a lot of priests allow EE in another diocese. Or you can switch to the classes every week. Just call the priest and explain the situation. Our priest said it doesn't matter when we actually did the pre-cana stuff, as long as we had actually contacted the church to say we wanted to get married 6 months in advance. We had one couple at our retreat getting married the next weekend.

[Deleted User]

Did you look on the website for a surrounding area? FI and I had to travel 2 and a half hours back in January for ours. There should be some in the surrounding and especially major cities. I know they do book up fast and our priest recommended we do it at least 6 mos before the wedding. We booked ours in Sept for Jan. Good luck.

engagedencounter.com

e_jakiela

Thank you Ladies. I really panicked and did not even think that we live close enough to go to NJ or CT.  I will check other dioceses too.  I really wanted to do this because I feel that it will help FI and I get out of our everyday life and discuss things we usually discuss in a car ride from work in a more peaceful place.

Riss, thank you for the link, I will check their events as well.  The one I found sold out was on Engagedencounter.com

Thank you again girls

e_jakiela

Oh, just one more question - some of the places say: Mass and Confession and some others say Mass only.  Is confession required for Pre-Cana classes? I haven't been to confession for a long time (like 10 years now) and am planning on going before the wedding, but did not expect that I will have to do it for pre-cana as well... I am a little stressed about it...

Theresa626

I didn't do confession for my pre-cana but I wouldnt' worry about it if you have to do it.  No one is going to tell what you said and the priest isn't going to admonish you or anything.   It'll probably feel good to get it off your chest. What is the worst that could happen honestly? 

Riss91

I think ours mentioned mass and confession, but it was completely optional. Also - the session that we went to, the speaker discused a topic for about 40 minutes, then gave us a 20 min break. We walked around the little vilage of Cold Spring (along the waterfront). It was a beautiful day and those 20 minutes we uaully discussed what we had just learned, so it was almost a private session to review with your FI how you felt about the topic. I thought it was a perfect format!

skyblonde

The reason I'm worried about Confession is because I know I won't be able to make a good one.  I live with my FI and am on bcp, both of which I should confess, but probably won't avoid in the future.  (Okay, bcp I'm done with next week, but still...)

KayAy

I don't think any priest has ever encountered a "good" confession! Telling all, and I mean ALL, even if you're not sure what you will and won't do in the future, can be such a wonderful relief. Although I haven't been to confession in a few years, and although I get super sweaty nervous before confessing, I'm looking forward to having a clear conscious and heart before marrying my FI. But whether you elect to participate in confession or not is your choice!

ellen73

I really wanted to do an Engagement Encounter weekend-  one of my good friends and her husband raved about it!  I liked the idea of spending a weekend with just us, and no wedding planning, outside commitments, etc.  However,  the timing wasn't the best and the only weekend we could do it would have been about 6 weeks before the wedding (and that was between Cleveland and Columbus-  the weekends they were offered were just bad!).  The priest we are working with at my parish (but not the one marrying us) suggested doing pre-cana earlier rather than later (btw- we got engaged a week before Christmas, and are getting married July 30th).   He said waiting til a month or two before the wedding was like cramming for a final when you had never been to the class.  We ended up meeting with him once, took the FOCCUS questionnaire, met with him again,  did the day of pre-cana. The day was great and just the right amount of time.  I am glad we did it early (5 months or so), b/c we have had plenty of time to continue the discussions raised at pre-cana and through FOCCUS and we haven't felt stressed about it, at all!