e-party gifts: advice from "normal" people who aren't etiquette snobs, please! :-)

Jasmine&Rajah

It's so funny to read the comments about how you some of you don't care for e-parties.  They don't seem strange or "gift grabby" to me - but then again, as I said, for Melkite or Maronite Catholics, it's usually done as the same time as the betrothal ceremony, and alllllll the family is there, and, in my experience, it's as just about as formal as the wedding day.  (Which is nice if you like "having" to buy another dress and getting your make-up and hair done!)

Myself, I was hoping people would not bring gifts because I knew my family would be very generous for the shower and wedding, and I honestly didn't want people to spend more money on us.  I was essentially told to shut up and let everyone be happy for me.  ha ha.  I guess it was a good problem to have.

Calypso1977

I was essentially told to shut up and let everyone be happy for me. 

but, see, i dont get why we need formalized parties and gifts in order for people to be happy for you.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_e-party-gifts-advice-normal-people-arent-etiquette-snobs-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:a53d651c-0f7e-4f4a-aeee-3edd9f94dd7cPost:7b448876-63ac-4fdf-a2c6-26d01efca3e3">Re: e-party gifts: advice from "normal" people who aren't etiquette snobs, please! :-)</a>:
[QUOTE]I was essentially told to shut up and let everyone be happy for me.   but, see, i dont get why we need formalized parties and gifts in order for people to be happy for you.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

OP & Calypso

I'm trying to phrase this as nicely as possible.

Some people love to give gifts, often for no reason at all

Some people don't really like it but do it because it's nice or good manners

Some people will fight to the bitter end to avoid giving a gift.

I don't judge any of the above. People are just different

HTH

Calypso1977

oot, i enjoy giving gifts myself.  im someone who takes alot of time to find something that i know the person will love.

but i guess my point is, i can give someone a thoughtful gift to show my happiness without having to attend a scripted, formalized party/gift giving event.  those that truly do want to give gifts will give one regardless of whether a party is thrown. those who want to celebrate your joy will do so with you, regardless of whether you invite them to a formal party.

Meg1036

In a lot of ways, at least in my experience, the parties are as much about those giving them as those receiving them (as are gifts).  FI's parents were very disappointed when we declined an engagment party, because FI was uncomfortable with it.  Since then, we've accepted a bridal shower from my aunt, rather than upsetting someone again.

lmeade62

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_e-party-gifts-advice-normal-people-arent-etiquette-snobs-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:a53d651c-0f7e-4f4a-aeee-3edd9f94dd7cPost:bc7bc0c0-881c-4ed7-bdaa-35baffa650aa">Re: e-party gifts: advice from "normal" people who aren't etiquette snobs, please! :-)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: e-party gifts: advice from "normal" people who aren't etiquette snobs, please! :-) : I don't necessarily *not want* gifts, I just really and truly don't want people to feel obligated to bring them at all, especially if they're someone like me, who would feel rather uncertain about whether to bring a gift or not!
Posted by lalaith50[/QUOTE]

Okay, I get it now! Someone said getting married wasn't an accomplishment...hmm. I kind of think it is, at least in our case. We waited a long time for each other, and went through a lot of lousy things with our first spouses, waited through divorces and then recently annulments. We've worked really hard on our relationship, and we'll continue to do so, and have tried to take things at a pace that properly reveres the sacrament of marriage. We're not there yet, but I cannot, cannot WAIT to be married to this man I love, and to continue to build a life with him.

So...it may not be an accomplishment like some others are, but it certainly is cause for CELEBRATION!! So celebrate!!

Linda