Banned from catholic ceremony..... warning long post!

jennbert

Hello! My name is Jennifer. My husband and I  got married 5 years ago for my husband's citizenship. We were broke and decided to do a court wedding until we had money. After 5 years we decided now is the time. We are both Catholic and being young, we didn't think the whole thing through. We intend to raise our children catholic and have them attend catholic school etc... I was reading my church website and it stated that if you were married outside of the catholic church, you are considered a sinner. Am i banned from EVER having a church ceremony?

Calypso1977

Hi, Jennifer.

As two Catholics, you are technically considered to be in a state of sin - becuase your marriage is not recognized by the church.

However, you should contact your priest and inquire about having a convalidation performed.  This will give you your sacrament, as well as bring you back into communion with teh Church.  you will most likely have to do precana and make a pretty good case for why you chose to marry outside of teh church in the first place.

ootmother2

NO, you are not banned from having a Catholic ceremony the first time. (I think you misread something there)

Your civil wedding is not binding nor acknowledged by the Catholic Church and the Church would certainly welcome you to make your vows in the church as it is a sacament as well as a committment.

You should contact the pastor of your church (or the one you choose to marry in ) and arrange a meeting.  You will need to bring your origianal marriage certificate for the priest to see.  He will then lead you to the steps to have your Catholic Marriage, a good deal of this depends on the priest and the diocese.

Good Luck!

Theresa626

Don't stress so much. You'll be ok.  You need to get convalidation through the church. 

ootmother2

Listen to Theresa.

I have yet to see a couple receive anything other than a happy welcome from a priest when they wanted to have their marriage blessed by the Church!

paradyse

You can have a ceremony.
In fact you SHOULD.

I just attended a meeting in my Parish about convalidations (because I'm getting one too.) They are mostly short & simple ceremonies, but you could choose to have a full mass exactly like a wedding.  Just go talk to your priest.

And FYI: Since your marriage is not sacramentally recognized, you two are in a state of sin. So you CANNOT take eucharist until you fix it by having a convalidation ceremony. (Or possibly living as brother & sister until said ceremony.) But either way you need it to be in full communion with the Church.

AutumnEnchantment

Don't stress and contact your church!  I grew up Catholic (and still am actively practicing) but my FI isn't...I thought that was strike 1.  We share a six year old son - strike 2, and we live together - strike 3.  I thought there was NO possible way the church would allow us to marry.  I made an appointment with the deacon and talked to him and he was VERY friendly and helpful and we certainly can be married in the church.  I did as you did, stressing before I figured it out.  Trust me, its not as scary as I thought it was going to be, haha.

Best of luck to you and yours!

Jay+Marissa

I think (and truly hope) you will find the Church to be very welcoming and accomodating--good luck through the whole process!

rlb81

My college roommate did this... her and her husband got married by a justice of the peace because both are in the army and being married allowed them to get a better house on post. At that time they didn't have the resources, time or money to plan their Catholic ceremony. Exactly one year later, they had their Catholic ceremony without any issues whatsoever.

Ishaba11

A friend of mine was married in a civil ceremony in FL. Her and her husband had two children (out of wedlock...civil and religiously). Her family gave her a hard time because she was not married in a church so two years later they had a full catholic marriage. I think it depends on your priest and your church.