How much is your church offering cost???

brandonswifey4605

I am a bit turned off by this church I went to. We met with the priest and before we could even discuss our wedding he's having us full out paper work to become members, as we just moved here not too long ago. He did give us some papers about the ceremony and on it says the music fee is $425 .. But then it says the church offering is $500.. Is that a lot? My friends church didn't have a set offering as I think that's how it should be... Plus this priest rubbed me the wrong way half the time we talked to him it was about money .... Idk what to do this church is really nice but I feel like they're really money hungry

agapecarrie

There are canonical restrictions on sacraments when you are not a member of a parish. I don't undertand why having you formerly become members of a parish would turn you off.

The church has to keep lights on, run the heat, employ cleaning staff, etc for a function all for you, it costs money to do that. If you were to simply rent out a hall and do the same thing, it would cost much much more. The whole reason for the day is for the wedding at the church, in relation to what everything else costs for a wedding, any price would be reasonable.

Riss91

It's not unusual for a priest to require you to becom parishoners in order to be married there. Were you planning on becoming parishoners there anyway? If not, you might want to find the parish you want to join and then become parishoners and be married there. Especially if you aren't comfortable with this priest.

I don't think those fees sound high at all, based on what I've seen.

One reason he might seem money-hungry is because many churches have engaged couples show up, that have no intention of really participating in that parish, but are "using" them for their ceremony-backdrop. I can see why a priest might want to ensure a couple is really serious about the sacrament, and not just using the Church as a venue for their ceremony.

brandonswifey4605

No I understand why he wants us to be members of the church I wasn't concerened about that but thought the set offering was a little much seeing a few of my friends who got married in a catholic church just made a donation and paid for the music. When the priest is telling us they didn't even have enough money in their budget to plow last winter, just makes me think all they are worried about is money not our sacrament of marriage. But whatever.

brandonswifey4605

The church is right down the street from our house I was planning on becoming a member. It's a gorgeous church and I want to get married there. Just thought it was crazy they have a set offering when I thought they'd just ask for a donation. How much is everyone else paying? I just want to know on average what other churches ask.

lalaith50

I don't think he's worried about money so much as worried about how you view marriage and your involvement with the church. He has probably seen many times before where a couple shows up, he's never seen them, has no idea who they are, they pretty much "demand" to get married. Which is going to require meetings for the preparation, time of his, time from his office staff to take care of paperwork, lights, heat, etc, and all the while the couple will never even come back to the church once they're married. A church is a community, and to exaggerate, it's like, "why would we do something for you if you've never done anything for us?" I mean, so the church is like, "ok, fine we'll marry you, but since we're pretty sure we're never going to see you again, it's going to cost you this much."

I mean, I'm not saying you are like this, but I'm suspicious since you apparently weren't members of the church prior to the meeting, and I used to work in a church office where this would happen all the time, so I think it's a fair assumption that the priest might have made.

Were your friends who had cheaper churches maybe members or otherwise active at those churches? I know a lot of churches have a member versus non-member price... I've seen for some larger churches the non-member price be as high as $1000 for the building alone. (And often the "member" price requires membership for a certain time, like 2 years, so that people don't just join to get the "member" price.)

So, I'm sorry that you had a bad experience and that priest sounds like he doesn't really care about you. But I think you should ask yourself if you *want* to be involved in the church after your wedding, and if you do, then you should probably talk to the priest about that, and then he will probably view you and treat you a lot differently.

agapecarrie

Well, if he doesn't have money to plow, then they are hurting. Sometimes weddings are the only way a church can stay open. Church's have every right to charge costs for an event. He was probably trying to justify the cost to you that they actually do need it.

If you wanted, you can get married at a regular daily mass without all the bells and whistles, and it won't cost you a dime.

TeaForMe

I don't remember exactly how much it cost for our wedding anymore, but I want to say it was either $400 or $500 ncluding the music (which we had to pay whether or not we used the parish musician). I didn't think it seemed like a lot, especially considering the other 2 places we had considered (the chapel on my college's campus and the cathedral where I was also a member) were far more expensive.

Riss91

We paid over $1000, not including music.

Tami87

I am getting married at the Shrine of St. Joseph in St. Louis. It is not a parish, so weddings and donations are really how they are able to support opperating costs, so I realize what I am paying is on the high end.

It is $1500 and this includes the organist fee ($300) whether we use him or not. They also have a "day of coordinator" that will help make sure everything is set up for us (they have pew bows and candelabras we can chose to use) and all goes smoothly. Also they encouraged us to bring in our own priest to marry us, so we have been doing marriage prep with FI's priest from the parish he grew up in. So we will be giving him a donation of some sort as well.

The ceremony is the most important part of the day so I don't feel upset spending a significant amount of money on it. We are cutting back on other areas to make up the difference.

divinemsbee

I was a member of the church I'd like to get married in since birth, until I moved away, but I always go back when I'm in town. I've never formally become a member of another parish. My Mom was a very active member for over 30 years until she moved 4 years ago to live in the same town as her second husband. We knew every priest, I had every sacrament there and taught their Sunday school and kept nursery. I've always known that I wanted to get married there.

It will cost me $2000 to get married there. They just renovated, which has made it even more beautiful, and it's always been a big wedding draw, so they recently took away the parishioner pricing and preference for dates and are charging one flat fee. That does include use of the organ and the organist, but I would still have to find a cantor and tip them. I'll admit, I'm less than thrilled as well; I also thought I'd be asked for a donation, but that's what they're charging, so that's a decision I have to make.

OliveOilsMom

Our church fee is $550, if we weren't parishioners at the parish, it would be $650.  The cost for the organist is $200.  We've been playing phone tag with the singer we want and don't know how much he costs yet, but I'm assuming it's in the $200 range as well.  As long as the $425 covers the musicians for your wedding (usually musicians who play at mass), I think that sounds about in range.

Kamakanani

Our chapel fee is $300.  This doesn't include music, and it is for a chapel that is reserved only for graduates of my high school.  I was surprised at how reasonable the price was, but my step-mom thinks it's pricy.  Considering I'll be getting married in a beautiful chapel that is over 100 years old, I think $300 is a bargain!

ElisabethJoanne

Ours is $0, and may even include the organist. Mine is a small parish, and unusual in other respects, too. I think even for non-members, we just accept donations.

Because Marriage is a Sacrament, and the Church cannot charge for Sacraments (a mortal sin called Simony), there are ways, as mentioned, to get married for free, even in those parishes that usually charge fees.

I think there's a parish here in San Francisco that charges even members $2,000 for weddings in one of 2 acceptable Saturday slots.

pretzelgrrl

I think our was about 1000.  This covered church, organist, minister and another person who cleans. 

Louisa1000

We are paying $425, which includes one musician. We seriously considered doing it in a regular mass (for reasons other than money) but the logistics of it didn't really work out in the end. 

When I first found out how much it was I was aghast, because as a Mormon, it would have been free for me to get married in a temple, which was my only other data point. I felt better about it when my FI reminded me that the church is putting on an entire mass just for us, complete with music and a wedding coordinator and programs, vs. the "marriage mills" as we called them growing up, which turn out 20 or 30 brides a day with small 15-minute ceremonies. It's a little different. It also made me think: I happily give sizeable sums of money to my parish all the time as tithing to help run retreats and the rcia program and new carpeting, etc. so why is it so hard for me to help defray the cost for them to put on a special day just for me?

brandonswifey4605

Well I went to another church today and the priest was the nicest guy ever! He told me all we had to pay for was the music & any kind of donation would be appreciated. he was all about our wedding he's been a priest at this church for 21 years such a nice guy I'm so glad we found a decent church they are out there! I find it ridiculous to have a set fee ... Its a church not a business ...

ootmother2

$0

Other than $250 to the soloist/organist who had to be  paid, used or not.  We did use her along with a flutist & trumpeter and she was quite good.

It was a beautiful, smallish church on the Cape.  We had 200 guests so it was perfect size.  No members, just saw the church and loved it.  B&G knew they wanted to be married down the Cape so it was really just a matter of finding a church.  The bride's uncle is a deacon and he performed the marriage ceremony.

bibliophile2010

Ours was $800 ($1000 for non-members), but it is a historical building with associated costs (and demand for pretty pictures). There was another $200 for music, and a donation to the priest.

Because H and I are both long-time and active members of the parish, the coordinator was willing to negotiate a lower price for us, but we felt that the mass was, by far, the most important part of the day to us. We were spending lots of money on clothes and flowers and the reception that giving a solid donation to the place we love to receive a Sacrament was worth it to us without being cheap.

FWIW, my sister (not Catholic) was married in a historical protestant church, and she paid $1000 (and there is little to no demand for weddings in that particular church), though that included music, programs and the minister.

debbiem56

Ours was $300 (I am a member of the parish) which included everything except the Pre-Cana.  What was nice though was that they would reduce or waive the fee if you could not afford it.  I decided that even though we were on a tight budget with hubby being unemployed, if I could spend $600 on a dress alone, I could make a $300 donation to the church.

newlyseliski

Our fee was $1,000 for members and included our organist, cantor, coordinator and programs.  We also gave thank-you gifts to our priest, deacon and coordinator.  It is normally $2,000 for non-members and our parish is open to any practicing Catholics in our Archdiocese.  It is a historic landmark and very popular for weddings. 

Please understand that a lot of parishes (especially architecturally beautiful ones) grow jaded with wedding requests and often assume that they're going to be treated much in the same way that other wedding vendors are treated - as a commodity.  They give preference to couples where at least one of them is already a member, participates in the parish ministries and tithes... the sacrament of marriage is a public sacrament and is an integral component to the parish community.  As agape mentioned above, parishes have a lot of the same maintenance and security costs that any ceremony site would incur.

Think about an outdoor ceremony and the expenses involved for comparison's sake... at a site (even if you're already having your reception there), there would usually either be a ceremony fee for setting up or a chair rental fee, the cost of an officiant, audio equipment, decorations, programs, coordinator etc... that could easily total over $500 very quickly add up to and exceed $1,000.

lalaith50

[QUOTE] if I could spend $600 on a dress alone, I could make a $300 donation to the church.
Posted by debbiem56[/QUOTE]
that's so wonderful that you realized that! :-)<div>I wish more people viewed it that way. :-(</div>

Hilraythebride

Ours does not have a certain price, they said whatever donation you are able to and would like to make.

My FI's parents are paying and so we wil let them decide as their family has always been part of the church.  FI and his brothers grew up there, went to Catholic school and had all the sacraments there.

Not sure if the organist will cost a set amount or again if its a donation.

As other have mentioned there is more that goies into the wedding behind the scenes than you know, paperwork and such, reserving the space, keeping the lights and such on.

sigmaurse

As far as I know the Catholic Church's in my area have a set amount as well. My church happens to be $150 but there are special church's that cost more, as high as $2000 becaue it's the Cathedral, special shrine, etc. I'm not sure how much it will cost to pay the musician, I didn't ask but I didn't think it would be $450, that sounds high to me.

jennyfe43

In Chicago, most of the Catholic churches run between $800 - $1200, plus music fees.   Our music fees were close to $600 (equally absurd).