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Officiant question... what do you look for?

I have just become ordained and plan on doing atleast a wedding in the near future for my cousin and possibly co-worker. This is why I became ordained. I was thinking about doing them for others also and wonder what you girls find most important in looking for an officiant outside of the church. I had a friend do my wedding and it was awesome that she new me and my FI well and it was so persoanlized, so I would like to get to know the bride and groom as much as possible. But what else... religous or non-religious, a pre wedding meeting or two, proofing all vows etc. I hope I do not get in trouble for asking this here. Thanks Mindy

Re: Officiant question... what do you look for?

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    kmf218kmf218 member
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    edited December 2011
    Its ok Mindy, you have a valid question. Its not like your advertising your services like other people do. My FI and I had some trouble when we got engaged deciding whether or not to do a religious ceremony. His mother and stepfather are Jehovah's Witnesses, and His Father and stepmother are Christian. My mothers side of the family are Catholic and my dads are Presbyterian (I think). He and I haven't really grouped ourselves into anything. We like that we have so many views but in order to include everyone and not have anyone be offended or uncomfortable we decided to have a non-denominational ceremony. So far I have looked into a few officiants and I have had three big issues. 1. The officiants that do both religious and non-religious ceremonies have tried to push some kind of religious aspect either into the vows or the opening statements. 2. Requesting an additional meeting or two was like trying to get an interview with Donald Trump. I have never played phone tag so much in my life! 3. They were to stuffy. My FI and I like to have fun and joke around and we see our wedding as the ultimate party. A lot of the officiants we met gave us the opposite impression of who they really were over the phone. I think it is very nice of you to do your cousin and co-workers wedding. My biggest advice for you is to be open to doing both religious and non religious ceremonies because that opens you up to so many more possibilities. Also make it about your bride and groom. Let them decide how many meetings they would like to have with you or at least suggest three that way the first can be a meet and greet, the second to decide how personal or impersonal they want it and the third can be close to the wedding date to hammer out all the details. Also make yourself available! I know everyone leads hectic lives but try your best to not let your brides know. Finally, do not make your bride or groom come to see you before you tell them how much your services will be. Its ridiculous! I hope this has helped you and I hope all goes well at the weddings. :)
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