Florida-West Coast

2 months to go and not having a good feeling about venue's coordinator..Ritz, SRQ-long, sorry

Is (Has) anyone getting (been) married at the Ritz in Sarasota?
   
    I don't want to bash, at all. There would be no reason for it. It's not that the experience hasn't been amazing so far- it's been wonderful. Frankly I am 100% positive we made the right choice for us.
   That being said, I'm getting VERY strong reason to believe that the coordinator "assigned" to take us through the process feels that we are so "less than" her usual clientele.
     At first I brushed things off as a difference in personality. Fine. No biggie. Some background- My Fiance and I are similar in that we do joke, are sarcastic, enjoy the little things, etc.  We don't take ourselves too seriously and feel as if this process should be one we enjoy and have fun with. Apparently that makes us strange.
    I feel like I need to justify ourselves! We're both 30. We both have professional jobs. We have friends and family that are just like us- work hard, play hard- and we want our wedding to be that of a celebration. It's a chance for both sides to meet, and enjoy each other- I'm sure EVERY bride feels this way. ALL of that being said- we walk away each time (from emails, meetings, etc) feeling like she thinks we are naive, ignorant, and insignificant. 

   It has become a running joke between FH and I. We dread having to communicate because it just makes these lingering feelings more and more true. I guess I am unsure if it's me being sensitive, or over-reacting. I've never been married, but I know that with my own clients, I would NEVER pull some beauties that she has with us. What I'm most put-off by, is that for someone with such an air of professionalism, she sure is rather unprofessional with US.

    When we first booked- the gentleman who took us through the process couldn't have been more amazing. He was kind, sensitive to our budget, thoughtful, great follow-up-the whole package. He won us over. Their policy is that once you get the contract set, you are passed to a "coordinator" to take you through the actual planning process. Then we got her* 

     -1st meeting (July'10-one year out)- Going through the contract. She  made it clear she's very busy. Lots of phone calls, texts ,etc. to other people. OK. We get that (she chose the time). No expectations were set as to what the meeting was going to accomplish- fine. We asked questions to fill the time. Nothing was accomplished. 

     -2nd meeting (January'11-I called to check-in, no word from her since) She says lets set a time for tasting, layout, re-go-over contract. She said we could invite up to 4 additional people. Great! FH, myself, my Grandmother, his Mom and her friend all go and we arebuzzing with excitement. It turned out to be so somber. She repeatedly corected us (and my Grandmother who let it be known she wasn't having that with kicks under the table), at one point FH's Mom's phone rang and she quickly silenced it. She was reprimanded with, "Could you possibly turn that off? We're in a meeting". We made our choices on the food and that's where it got (more) strange. She began to ask me about timelines, linens, my vendor info, why don't I have a coordinator, readings for ceremony, do I need a ready-room,  6 MONTHS OUT, and after every question- which were quickfired- no room to answer- everything came down to our budget.

    "Our Budget" (with a lack thereof tone) came up with every breath. Our budget had only been discussed with the original gentleman. "well with your budget...", and "sometimes when you're so limited on your budget".. and "other brides with such stronger budgets"... it got to me and I teared up.  I can only be laid back for so long. I couldn't stop it. The weird  pressure from questions that were not even appropriate for the timeline, coupled with her impression of us was too much. 

     - Email Sent (early March)- thought we could avoid another unproductive meeting with a lengthy email including a list of questions in bullet form (for her ease) and it was replied to two weeks later after two voicemails to inquire about it. The response had the original email copied and the questions answered with "yes, or "no". That's it. Some of the questions were open-ended. We followed up by asking for a face-to-face since it might be easier for her, and to get our questions answered. 

    -3rd meeting- March 20ish, we came prepared with printed questions, specifics, EVERYTHING- it was a similar meeting. FH's mom, and Aunt (1st time meeting her) came with us that time and the Aunt goes," Is she always like that?"
(I love her now) Certain things like room layouts, updated contract, and bagpiper recs, were promised to be emailed. They were not. 

     Again, I've been taking it, thinking, maybe this is how it goes, but I'm paying (for us) a substantial sum of money. Heck, for anyone. No, I'm not having a 400 person, international affair, but I am shelling out over 20k.  I haven't bombarded her with incessant calls, emails, multiple meetings, barely anything!  The above touches were IT.  We almost fall over ourselves trying to be nice. No dice. My long, and drawn out post ( I do feel better actually) is to ask- Is it me?! This is odd, right?  All our other vendors have given us such a great experience so far.  Each one has gotten us even MORE excited for the wedding.  I just want some honest feedback before I call the Ritz to see if there's anything I can do about switching to another coordinator (if there even is one)  I don't even know that I can.  It's fine for the planning process to deal with her, but now I'm nervous for the DAY. I don't want the day to be colored by her opinion of us.
Thoughts?
Thanks for reading!
  

Re: 2 months to go and not having a good feeling about venue's coordinator..Ritz, SRQ-long, sorry

  • mitchsbridemitchsbride member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My friend had a similar experience with her coordinator (at a different hotel).  Her mother called the corporate office of the hotel and the coordinator fell all over her after that.  Make sure you save that email where she answered just yes and no and mention that to the person you speak to and offer to forward it. 

    It doesn't matter how much you're spending, you shouldn't have to put up with that.
  • edited December 2011
    I feel bad that anyone's taking your money and making you feel awful about it. That being said, I've had very similar encounters with our coordinator at the Tradewinds, and even though every vendor we've worked with loves her, I am quite positive that if something goes wrong at our wedding, she will be the cause.

    If you love your venue, don't let her taint it. Tell her when she's made you feel bad. Don't go out of your way to be kind -- she's obviously just feeding off it. Have a business relationship, make sure whatever you do or say, she know YOU are in control and YOU are signing the checks --  and when it's done, send a letter with all this in it -- to both her and her boss.

    We're paying for our wedding, too (both mid-30s), and I do wish I had hired someone special just to deal with the Tradewinds. That being said, if you've got a relative, parent or good friend who can help you make some calls/send some emails/deal with this woman's attitude in the weeks before, by all means do so. 
    I wouldn't want to be holding my breath on m wedding day, just waiting for her to make me unhappy. I'd probably claw her eyes out on that day, to be honest. So do what you can to stand up to her now, no matter how hard. It'll feel a lot better to get it out ahead of time than stress over her shallowness these next couple months.

    I know this does nothing for you, but I hope you can gain some control over this b1tch and enjoy your day. Hopefully your friends and family will stnad behind you, too. Good luck.




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  • edited December 2011
    that's terrible!!  Call the corporate office or at least the general manager of the resort.  you need to let them know exactly what's going on.  I hope everything works out for you
  • edited December 2011
    There is one thing The Ritz is known for above all else and that is Customer Service.  I would be bitching and moaning to whoever will listen.  This in inappropiate.  I had issues with a caterer in the start, and I got a new one.  It was the best decision I ever made. 

    I would talk to her manager and get a new coordinator ASAP. 

    Your budget is your business and they should treat you no different than someone paying 100,000 for a wedding. 
  • edited December 2011
       I really appreciate the responses. I'm the first of my group of friends to even get married, and frankly, this is very small to dwell on. I know that.
       Nothing has been inherently Wrong to go to a Manager.  It could all be chocked up to a personality rift, or ill-communicated expectations (on their part).
       I guess I'm just looking to see if anyone has switched and what the process is-
     Feel free to PM me if so!

     *Oddly enough I have 4 emails from the Ritz after I wrote this.  Each very nice, and containing the information we were looking for...
  • edited December 2011
    report her a$$ to her supervisor. your wedding is costing much much more money than mine and i am still having a beautiful wedding. if she has a problem with your budget she can go ahead and resign as your coordinator. if i were you i would tell corporate word for word all of the demeaning things she said to you and politely demand another coordinator. her words are inappropriate on so many levels. don't even communicate with her again. shes going to ruin your day before it even happens!

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  • edited December 2011
    I second everything TheMrsCabral says! 
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  • M1ssJM1ssJ member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    The other ladies are so right! Be firm, polite, and agressive about your need to get this resolved. 20k is not a small amount of money and unless she is paying for your wedding, she has no right!
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  • edited December 2011
    I used to be a manager in the Catering and Conference Services department at the Ritz-Carlton in Sarasota, and for a company that prides itself on customer service, that Catering Manager's attitude is completely uncalled for. You need to call the Director of Catering and speak with them about the problems you're encountering. She needs to stop insulting you about your budget (which is still a lot of money to spend with a venue) and give you the service the Ritz is known for. And do not feel bad about requesting a new Catering Manager. They'll do it if you ask.
  • LuckyHeatherLuckyHeather member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You are the customer, and she needs to treat you that way.  Speak up for yourself and see if she stops.  You want someone who will help you make your dreams come true.  Someone you are excited to talk to...after all this is YOUR very special day!  Don't put up with less than what you deserve.

    When I talk to the Coordinator at my Venue, he is always bubbly and excited.  It makes me look forward to talking to him.  You should be having the same experience.  She is working for you.
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  • edited December 2011
    Agreed!! They can and will most likely get you a new manager...they will still want your business even if she deems your budget (which is not low IMO!!) "limited"...Good Luck!
  • edited December 2011
    I'm glad they sent you the info you needed. Either way though, I would still request a new coordinator. Whether it's her or you, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't have to feel this way about someone you have to deal with for the next few months. If you don't feel comfortable with her, you should be able to request someone new. Like everyone said, it is YOUR day, and YOUR money!! You deserve 100% customer satisfaction.
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