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Ohio-Cincinnati

MOMMYZ =P

Hi knotties ... tell us what you think ... are mother's welcome to post on this site or is it just for brides-to-be? Your opinions are very much valued and these posts will get forwarded to the Knot.

Re: MOMMYZ =P

  • edited December 2011
    sure... but i think you're missing the point behind all the upset feedback you're receiving. Vendor reviews given in the context of the whole wedding experience are more reliable than just a random post about a single specific vendor.  It's very rare that someone will post a stand alone vendor review and in the rare occassion it does happen it's usually done by a knottie who's been around a while and participated in the board so there's little doubt to the legitimacy of the poster. As a relatively new knottie who's done more lurking than posting, I've noticed this 'spamming' of the boards is becoming out of hand.  Please... share your experiences with the rest of the vendors from the wedding... where was it held, who was your photographer, florist, baker, dj, limo, caterer.... If you are in fact simply a MOB who was more pleased with the work of your Makeup artist than any other aspect of your daughter's wedding, then so be it. We heard your opinions and those of us interested will look into your recommendation.  But what point are you trying to prove?  Your "daughter's" wedding is over.  At this point... you're the one doing the 'bullying'.  You're instigating drama on a friendly board.  And in as politely a way I can say this, I'd be embarassed if my mother was picking fights on the internet with people 20+ years younger than her over the legitimacy of her opinions about a mid-low priority vendor from my wedding.If you're just trying to be helpful... please give your reviews and move on.  If you're trying to gain business for a vendor (yourself or otherwise), please take out an ad or hit up the other vendors for referrals.  This board is full of educated and discerning consumers and you're doing more harm than good for this vendor.I guess I should properly introduce myself now that I've piped up... I'm Kellie... getting married next fall and have found MOST of the knotties on here quite helpful in my planning so far.  thanks, ladies!! :)
  • edited December 2011
    Welcome to the board Kellie!! 
  • tia0314tia0314 member
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I will step in here and give my Honest opinion. I think it is nice that mothers or anyones besides a bride want to come on the boards To RECIEVE Advice for a bride. However, when it comes to GIVING advice about important things such as vendors, I personally would rather leave that to the brides who have worked with them personally. This board tries Very hard to make sure we all are getting the best information to have the best weddings. We will rave about vendors and at the same time, have each others backs when we are in talks with a not so great vendor. So it's wonderful that you want your daughter to have the best wedding and you have come to the right place for any resources needed, but let your daughter do the vendor raving if she wishes.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image
  • edited December 2011
    Throwing in my two cents...I do not post a lot on here, but look to this board frequently for honest, mature, clear advice. I think our board does an excellent job of remaining positive and avoiding snarkiness and I have commented as such before. A negative review is usually backed up by sound facts and is usually accompanied by positive reviews of the other vendors that the bride has worked with. In addition, while I think it is nice if mothers want to join the boards to receive advice as the above poster mentioned, perhaps giving advice should be left to the brides. I am sure we all love our mothers and FMILs, but as has been proven time and time again, weddings bring out the discrepancies in opinions between the two. Sometimes it is better to hear directly from the bride who had/is having her day. After all, it was/is her day. Then again, to my knowledge, there hasn't been a mother who posted on here recently that wasn't stirring the pot. :) I don't mean that rudely, this is just the first time that I have considered this since I started looking at this board many months ago.
  • catbarnes09catbarnes09 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would echo TIA - reviews would be better received from brides vs. moms. I have seen some very good posts from moms wanting assistance with their DD weddings and that is cool but save the vendor reviews for the brides.
  • Knot AnnieKnot Annie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Maybe I can give a quick two cents. I have a tiny bit of experience in this…MommyZ - The ladies (brides) on this board are a bit territorial of their space and cautious because if a new member comes on raves of only one vendor, this is often because they ARE a vendor. But, we do need to remember that there are brides (and yes, MOBs) out there that do come on just to rave about what a great experience that they’ve had with their photographer, florist or MUA. This is becoming more common in the online world of reviews such as Yelp. In this circumstance, we need to make sure that we do not assume that they are a vendor. What would be helpful for you would be to review all of the vendors from your daughter’s wedding. I’m sure that our Cincinnati brides would love to hear about them and I’m sure that you have some advice that you are able to give. We have a few really awesome MOBs on these boards and they are fun and well-respected women. Thanks,Knot Annie
    Tweet? Me too! Have you checked out our My Real Wedding Gallery for ideas? Upload your photos here and be featured on The Knot!
  • edited December 2011
    Annie, thanks for your inquires and your interpretation, but territorial predictors would be a more accurate description of the behavior I experienced on this board. I would like to reiterate that I had only one (1) post, not many posts like hrparker keeps suggesting.   One day last week was my very first try at this ... wasn't sure of what I was doing and accidentally hit the post button more times than I should have ... and to add, the site was not working properly. I tried immediately to delete 3 of the 4 posts, which were all the same, but I continued to get a site error message and could not delete them, so I copied and pasted the error message into the posts explaining that I was sorry for the duplicates and that I was unable to delete the additional ones at this time. Within minutes hrparker was badgering me and reported my post as spam and dictated that I "GO AWAY".   If any of these women would have just read my posts, instead of jumping to conclusions, they would have known that I was trying to delete the duplicates. An hour went by with several nasty remarks from hrparker and her cohorts! I was shocked at the hostility and the quality of verbiage used on this board. Eventually, the site was working and I decided to delete all of the posts due to the verbal abuse against me and the vendor.     I waited a week and then re-posted ... just one post this time. Again, within a couple minutes, hrparker was on the attack ... reported my post as spam, belittled me and the vendor, and told me to "GO AWAY".   I truely believe that this board has terrible management! The way some people are treated is unbelievably disturbing! If hrparker is really an attorney, then she should know that it wrong to dictate to others ... what they can or cannot say ... where they can and cannot post! Who is allowing her to be the board police?   Anne, I would like to post the rules section of this site, so hrparker and everyone involved can see that we were in violation of most of the rules, including that members are not allowed to defame other members or venders!!!   In addition, Anne, I am very disappointed in your response that I should post with multiple vendor reviews! Again, more dictating! Maybe, I am not happy with the other vendors and the rules say I cannot defame them.    As far as mothers being welcomed on this board ... let me ask a question ... who signs the contracts and writes the checks that pay for all the vendors and the facilities for these brides? What majority person does that?
  • edited December 2011
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  • edited December 2011
    Seriously, you need to let this go.  First, KnotAnnie is "the man."  As in, the moderators of moderators.   If anyone is allowed to "dictate" (as you call it), she's the one.  Do some homework; most brides (or MOBs) review multiple vendors at a time-- even if they did not think highly of ALL the vendors, they still gave them some kind of review.  I, for one, would still love to know more about your daughter's wedding:  the DJ? the Florist?  the Photographer?  Knowing more about the other vendors helps me make more informed decisions as a consumer.   Second-- Yes, HR did jump your case.  But, as KnotAnnie tried to bring to light, your well-intentioned post appeared very similar to what other vendors have posted in the past.  She was aggravated because she thought you were a vendor.  She has stated her case, given her reasons for her claim, and has left it at that.  You have gotten defensive, and have really provided no evidence to support/prove otherwise.  Okay, you say everyone has a right to post whatever they want... sure.   If that's the case, just let it go and participate as anyone else would-- give advice when you have something to contribute.  Third-- as for your "who writes the checks for the majority of the vendors" statement... you need to take a step back and realize that the MAJORITY of women on this board are paying for (or have paid for) their own weddings (along with their FIs)-- not the parents.  That's very sweet that you were able to write all the checks for your daughter's wedding-- but I don't think that that is the norm anymore.  Don't assume that MOBs have more of a right to post about a vendor than the brides to because of an antiquated notion that the MOBs are the ones who predominantly pay for weddings. Last-- I have been an active participant on this board for nearly 10 months.  Of all the boards I visit, this one is managed the BEST.  Mrs.Dilligaf is a great moderator, so saying otherwise is an insult to her character, and that's simply not acceptable.  I hope you find an opportunity to share your reviews of the other vendors of your daughter's wedding.  There are many brides here that would love to know how your vendors performed.  Also, there is a Mother of the Brides/Mothers of the Groom board.  My own mother has posted on that board several times, and has found great company on that board in addition to the local boards.  
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you! I wish someone would have told about MOB/MOG board on the first visit. Yes, i know about knotAnnie being the ONE! I keep on, so no one else gets treated as I did! Also, I do believe that most of the active brides on here are paying for their own wedding, hense the research, questions, and blogging. I also believe that they probably do not have great relationships with mom/parent(s), hense the anti-mommyz posts. I also bet if you asked theKnot (the company) or if you did a universal survey, the parent is still the majority funder for that special day. Sorry, but you are wrong if you think that parents are not. Ask any vendor. As far as my vendors, I will not discredit, Chumps the caterer. I will not defame the DJ, no mention of name, but he looks like Rod Stewart. I will not defame the reception hall at Lake Lyndsay. I cannot comment on the flowers or the photography, they were provided by friends of the groom as wedding gifts. No limo, awesome cakes were baked by friend as gift also. The only vendor I can actually RAVE about is Crystal of EyeDo. I had personal time with her, she made us all look fabulous. I highly recommend her. You will not be disappointed, esp moms! Good luck Cincy brides. MommyZ. =)
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for mentioning your other vendors-- as for "defaming" or "discrediting" them, I am confused.   There has been a recent rule change regarding customers' reviews of vendors.  You ARE allowed to share negative experiences with vendors (if it was truly the case) because vendors now have an opportunity to respond via the Knot.  (see a post below about an unhappy bride and her dissatisfaction with her officiant).  So, that said, we welcome all legitimate reviews, be they raves or warnings. 
  • mollyfayemollyfaye member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have no idea how all of this started and don't want to stick my nose in or stir up any more issues, but I do feel the need to comment about one thing that was said by the oringal poster. She stated to some effect that since most of our mothers are not "writing all of the checks or signing the contracts" that she believes we don't have a good relationship with them. I personally took offense to that. My parents have worked EXTREMELY hard my whole life to do the best to provide for our family. Working two and three jobs at all times to make sure we had everything we needed. Now that I am getting married there is no one more excited and involved with the planning (aside from me :) ) than my mother. They are not made of money and cannot contribute a great deal financially to our big day, but she and my father have done anything they could to contribute (paying for part of my dress and flowers) but the most important things they've done are not money related at all. My mom is incredibly creative (she is doing all of my floral design and bouquets, etc and they are GORGEOUS) and also talented in organizing and getting things done and she has been such a great help to me I don't know what I would do without her help-it's like having 10 coordinators! To suggest that just because she is not wealthy and can't buy my happiness we have less of a bond/relationship than someone who can "write all the checks" is terrible. We have a wonderful relationship, she is one of my best friends, and I value her effort and opinion more than anything money could buy. I love my mom and I couldn't wish for a better relationship with her, regardless of finances. Sorry if I got a little crazy there, I just wanted to make the point that money does not make a great mother/daughter relationship.
  • edited December 2011
    I think the OP meant that the MOBs have a better relationship with the vendors-- thus have more information to share than the brides do. Although I could be wrong... it's happened before :)
  • edited December 2011
    to jarmstrong- if there is a recent change in the vendor reviews, then I do not believe it is stated in the rules section of this site. I am very new here, there is so much info that it would be impossible for a person to know it all in one week.Also, I have never said that MOB's have better anything! I was just stating a fact. Parents pay for wedding events more than not. That is all.I also never said that I have more info to share than brides (you said that). But if I am a mother, that probably means that I was a bride at one time or another ... just sayin! Doesn't matter if you are 29, 39, or 49 ... may have some good advise to share whatever age, whatever sex, whatever relation. to mollyfaye - I am so happy that you wrote on my post! I knew there were some good girls on here! Also very confident that there are LOTS of good girl-good mom relationships on here! Please speak out. I posted the question to find girls like you! To show the negative mommy haters that you exist and will speak out. Sorry, if you or any others got the wrong impression of this post - there were other very derogatory posts that I deleted because they were so hateful ... I am just a mother - similar to yours. Good luck with your wedding - it will be wonderful!
  • EABinkholderEABinkholder member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would just like to chime in ONE last time on this issue. Yes, my mother and father are paying for every aspect of this wedding. And yes we have a WONDERFUL relationship. But do not underestimate the value of ME, the BRIDE's, opinion.  Just because my parents are paying for this wedding does not make it their day, nor does it give them the right to make every sole decision. Of course they get to help in the decision making process and I'm glad for that, but ultimately it is my say. And just because someone's mother or father does not help them financially with a wedding or says something in disagreement with you, does not mean they have a poor relationship. I think that is an assumption that is grossly wrong. And just because I disagree with your posts, does not automatically mean I have a poor relationship with MY mother either. We are as close as close can be and if she were saying some of the things posted here by you, I'd say the EXACT same thing to her, if not more profane! : ) Happy weddings everyone!
  • tia0314tia0314 member
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My wedding was paid for by my parents, DH's parents, and ourselves. There's a saying for the MOG that goes "show up, shut up, and wear beige" so my dad though of his job "show up, shut up, sign the check" just a running joke with our families. Don't be too serious about the whole planning thing and whose paying for what to remember that you love the people around you.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image
  • edited December 2011
    The value of ME and the color of BEIGE ... all nice to be IMPORTANT, but more important to be NICE! Love you ALL!
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