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May 2011 Weddings

Any long distance relationships out there?

 Hello ladies, I hope everyone's Monday went well.

ok....so FI and I live about 3 hrs away from each other and we're both in school. I've been dealing with some pretty crappy roommate issues and now's the time where I wish that HE was my roommate...not this random chick who can't clean a house to save her life. When we started this whole thing, we thought to ourselves "3 hrs is not that long, and we'll meet in the middle a couple times a month". Yeeeaaahhhh....that doesnt happen and we've been doing this now for about a year. With busy schedules and the headache of the drive, we maybe see each other a couple times a month. DEFINATELY not enough. Its times like this when I REALLY miss him... :-(  But I just keep telling myself 11 months to go.

Anybody else dealing with this??

Sorry about the depressing rant....
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Re: Any long distance relationships out there?

  • sounds almost exactly like me.  Except he is working and I live alone ( I got fed up with a random chick not cleaning up her mess)

    It stinks thats for sure, I too keep telling myself 11more months!  Everything is a countdown right now.  332days till Im a Dr, 341 days till I am a Mrs, and 2 weeks till I see FI again.
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  • I wish I was only 3 hours away! I am in MN and he is in VA so we only get to see each other about once a month. :(  I might be moving out there soon for work though, so that is the silver lining! But for now it is horrible being so far away and I just can't wait until I can see him every day!
  • Well...here's my story:

    FI and I met in college. We dated for two years before he graduated and went 12 hours away to optometry school (sadly, that's actually the closest optometry school to where we're from. He also got a great scholarship so it was a wonderful opportunity). That fall I studied abroad in Australia because I figured that getting away from where I was used to him being all the time was better than hanging around being sad. It was a long, homesick 4 months but I'm glad I went. Then I came back, finished school, and started law school in our home state, still about 12 hours away from FI. It's been two years of long distance and it will be 3 total before it will finally be over. I'll tell everyone - it never gets easier. Every day I still miss him. Every day I still count down until the next time I get to see him. If we're lucky, it's about once a month.

    I think being engaged has made it harder. I'm so close to finally having him right here with me for the rest of my life but waiting for the next year to pass is a pretty hard row to hoe. It also makes me sad because this time of engagement is a time when I feel like I'm supposed to feel super close to him and there are days when it doesn't even feel like I'm in a relationship at all. We do what we can with the wonders of cell phones and webcams, but nothing is like having him next to me. I pick fights because he can't come home. I pick fights because it's easier to be mad than sad. He just feels so, so far away. 

    But on the plus side, engagement gives me lots to do and helps me to focus all that energy on planning for the rest of our lives. It helps me stay optimistic and gives us lots to chat about on the phone. Thankfully, he's endlessly patient with me and together we've managed to make the best of a crappy situation. 

    To everyone who is long distance, I suggest spontaneity. No, you can't make a surprise visit every weekend, but you can send packages, sweet text messages, silly pictures, and little reminders that someone loves you and can't wait to be with you forever. And the best part is, for all of our FIs, we know they're worth the wait :) 
  • Roomate issues are the worst! Hopefully things will shape up or you can find a new living situation soon.

    Its weird because we lived by each other for 17 years and never talked until he moved. We were best friends since we met even though he lived in Florida and I lived in Nebraska. Due to circumstances we ended up not talking for 2 years. When we finally got back together, he was living in Minnesota and I was about to move to Florida. I won't get to move to Minnesota until a week before the wedding. When we get married we will have been friends/dating for 5.5, all over long distance.

    I HATE long distance, but I think I appreciate his presence a lot more than I would if he was always here. I agree that being engaged makes me miss him more. I want him here to help make the decisions and get excited about things. He's really into the planning process, so it makes it easier. And I think 5 years of communicating through phone calls and instant messanger has made our communication as strong as it can get.
  • That sounds like my relationship about 3 years ago.  We were high school sweathearts went to colleges on oppsite sides of the state, 3 and a half hours apart for 4 years but now we live together. I have to say I have had some terrible roommates but I love living with my fiance he is the best roommate ever.  Times get tough being apart but you can do it!  Good luck! 
  • My fiance is in Brazil, and I'm on the East Coast of the U.S.  We have to go five months without seeing each other, which is a lot better than when we once had to 10 months without seeing each other.  Plane tickets and busy schedules really make visiting hard.

    Three hours is not bad in perspective... if things are going really bad, you can drop things and see each other.   But I know it's frustrating.  One piece of advice helped me.  "All long-distance relationships end. Either you grow sick of it and break up.  Or you realize you can't be without each other and you move close to each other."  Since you're getting married, you're in the second group.  Just think about how it will soon be over! 

    I'm also a big believe in how everything has a purpose. LDR's teach you a lot, including open communication and love.  Your relationship will be stronger as a result.
  • Well, I consider all of this practice for when he's full on in his career. He's on the road to becoming a pilot in the Navy...so military life definately comes with LDR's.

    I feel so bad for everyone in a LDR especially those who have it worse than I do. All I can say is that i've been told countless times that this year will be the fastest in our lives, and I really think it will.
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  • I am also in a LD relationship with my FI. We are about 4 hours apart and have been the majority of the time. We met during a summer in between college. Of course, we went to different schools in completely different areas. Once we graduated we thought we could potentially be closer together but luck was not on our side. Both of us ended up with job offers in the area where we attended school. It was the best decision for us at the time and it's been like that every since. It is really hard b/c we would like to be together during our engagement. But we know that worse case in 11 months we will be together. I definitely know where all you girls are coming from!! GL to everyone. :)
  • I'm in a LDR for only 3 more days! I live in Raleigh and FI lives in SD, but this weekend I am making the move to CA! I am so excited to be with my guy again, I can hardly stand it!

    FI have been together for 10 years and we've spent about 6 of those years in LDR off and on. I know what you ladies are going through. It is tough.
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  • I did long distance with my fiance for several years.  We were four hours apart and faithfully (every two weeks) one would drive to see the other.  We were both in school or working long hours and we had lives in different places.  It was an interesting mix of independence and a relationship.  I was thrilled when he moved in, but we really had the hang of long distance as well.

    Just remember, moving in together also has its rough moments.  You're going from see each other almost not at all to seeing each other every minute of every day.  Don't think that one change isn't big and there won't be growing pains. 
  • I soon will be back in a long distance! We started that way for 1 year and now my FI is moving to Boston in September for pharmacy school. I am in Florida and I am staying here to finish my undergrad then am moving to Boston after the wedding. It will be 8 months of misery. I really just want to hit the fast forward button till he comes back in May. He's currently my roomie here and the most amazing one I could ask for. I just could not bring my self to live with someone else next semester. I hated all my previous living situations with roommates. I have jam packed my schedule with class from 7:30 am to 9:30pm 4 days a week just to keep myself from missing him too much. 

    On the bright side I already bought 3 plan tickets to see him, 2 in September and 1 in November.... and I get to keep the dog. :)
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