July 2012 Weddings

VENT (NWR) : Frustrated with Abuela - VERY Long.

So - I posted a vent about this on the chit-chat board a few months ago - but I'm still being driven mad and I have no one to talk to about this because I don't want to cause conflict and I don't want anyone's feelings to be hurt..or anyone to think badly of any one else.

I think everyone knows by now, I live with FI and his grandmother - let's correct that - FI and I live together - Abuela lives with us. We pay the rent, the bills, the food, any outings, etc. We're not hard on our luck and living with her...she lives with us.

So - I agreed to this because FI loves his grandmother very much - and she has always taken care of him. No one else in the family takes care of her as well as he does. It's rather sweet - until you're living with it.

She hates me. I swear she hates me - that or she's jealous - either way - I can't take it. It started off fine - for the first 3 or 4 months - but it continues to deteriorate. She aims to please him and I swear - it's like she's competing with me for his attention.

Things that bug me
She sets slippers outside our bedroom door every morning for him.
 (Not really a big deal - it's just this WITH everything else irritates me)

She knocks on the door every 10 minutes after 6:30am to make sure he gets up for work. He's a grown man - go the heck away - he's up. I could see knocking if he was usually up by seven - and wasn't out - but..seriously? He's never outta the room before 7:10 - GO AWAY.

FI jumped my case a few months ago when I made him a breakfast sandwich in the morning. I didn't make one for myself (wasn't hungry) and I didn't make one for his grandmother because she had just eaten cereal. He jumped my case saying that I hate her and I was rude that I didn't make her one..and blah blah blah..so..whatever..I apologized..should have offered. Two weeks ago, he does the dishes and because he did the dishes, his grandmother brings him a piece of pie - but doesn't offer me one. But does he jump her case? Nope.

I do her laundry - all of it - on top of mine and FI's. I do the dishes 90% of the time. I cook 3 days out of the week (FI cooks the other 4 days).  I do all of the cleaning. And god forbid I get busy with school for a week - and don't do her laundry - because  then she's crying and boohooing about how nobody wants to help her. Oh and we made her a key to the laundry room so she could do it herself. Has she? Nope. She just puts the basket out in the living room when she's expecting me to do it.

She babies the hell out of him and gives me a dirty look when I don't. But  If I pack FI a lunch (the one thing she does in the house) she says I'm trying to get rid of her.

I put all the groceries away and if I put something away in a way she doesn't like - she tells FI allllll about it - and I have to justify why the hamburger is in the fridge and not the freezer. Seriously? I mean..she doesn't speak English - and I speak very bad and limited Spanish - so he has to be a go-between - but she's constantly questioning my choices. Ugh.

She is ALWAYS around. The only time I am alone with FI is if we go see an English-language movie (in which case, she doesn't go), or when we go to bed at night. We have two tvs and both have cable. Her room and our living room. I thought she'd spend more time in her room - but nope - she's always gotta be right there...I've even tried to stay up really late - to outlast her - and have some alone time with FI in the living room - but she always stays up as late as we do.

It's so petty. I hate all of this and I hate to complain about it. If it was just one thing or two, it wouldn't bother me - but it's this entire "competition" between us that has been set up that drives me nuts. She never even says hello or hola to me. Everytime I walk in the door, I say "hola" to her - and she'll reply - but she never says hello first. But god forbid I don't say hello to her, then FI is on my case about how she complained I make her feel like a burden.

My family loves her - they think she's sweet - so I can't complain to my mom because I don't want them to think bad of her. And I can't complain to FI because then he says I'm just waiting for her to die. :\

I honestly don't see a solution here. FI and I NEVER fight - except over her and the living situation - and even then - it's barely a fight - I just let everything go.

Oh..and she makes our bed. If I'm running late for school, and I forget to make the bed - she comes in an makes it. I've said that I don't want her in our room - I don't go in her room to make sure she's cleaned up - why is she in ours? But it continues to happen.

/end vent.
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