Ohio-Cincinnati

Would you invite......

I just want to get some outside opinions about a situation. I am going to have two receptions. One in Ohio after the wedding and then the other a little over a month later (March 2010) in England for all the UK people that could not make it to the Ohio wedding.  

My FI on invited to the event page that I had created his ex wife's best friend who he is the god father of her children. The more I have thought about it  it think the more that I am not okay with her coming because that is almost like having his ex at the reception since we all know how women are and will go and tell her everything about the event. I just feel like it is an invasion of our privacy and not healthy. I  guess I feel unprotected if the women were to come to the reception. Let me add that yes he might be friends with her but he does not talk to this woman or hang out with her at all. It is not like my FI is best friends with her as well.

I just want to know what other people women think. Please do not flame me in your response.

Re: Would you invite......

  • edited December 2011
    I just don't understand why or how people think that it's okay to invite ex's or ex's best friends to their wedding!! I just think it's very awkward for all parties involved and especially rude to the person you are marrying if they are not okay with it.

    I don't think you are being out of line at all...I def. would not want any of my FI's ex's best friends coming to our wedding!!! B/c like you said...she WILL go back with every little detail of how the event played out...and most likely pick it apart with her bff!

    I say talk to your FI and let him know how you feel about this!
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    I would say no to inviting her the wedding.  If he doesn't hang out with her or even talk to her, why would you invite her?  I think you should talk to your FI about this and let him know how uncomfortable you are with her being there.  Good luck!
  • mollyfayemollyfaye
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I would definitely not be ok with this. As PP said, if they don't even associate why would she be invited? I totally get the invasion of privacy. I think it's absurd to have her on the guest list honestly. Sit down and talk to your FI and express your feelings, I think you have a reasonable point of view and he'll respect that.
  • edited December 2011
    i talked with my FI and he states that he was not going to invite his ex wife's best friend anyways.  I think he just asked all of his facebook friends to come. My heart is happy now. I know I would just feel awkward and not know what to say to her.
  • edited December 2011
    DId everyone miss the part about OP's FI being the godfather to this potential guest's children?  It's not as if she's JUST his ex's best friend - there's more of a relationship here.

    I can understand being a little uncomfortable, and I think I would have been REALLY uncomfortable if H had tried to invite his actual EX, but this is something entirely different, imo.   H should get to invite the people he feels are important to him.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with pp, I think I was the only other person that said I would be OK with this.  Inviting an Ex and inviting someone close the the Ex are completely different things.  I really do not think I would have an issue with it.  To be honest I would kind of like to invite my fiance's Ex because I think it would help his kids feel even more comfortable about our wedding.  However, we have decided against it becasue we think it would be weird for everyone else.
  • edited December 2011
    He is not close to his ex wife's best friend. I guess every situation is different. His ex wife has only let my FI meet her new husband once. She does not let him know anything about her life. She makes rude comments about me and all I have done is love my FI and his kids. She does not want to meet me. I just would like a civil relationship where we can go to things for the kids but that is it. I don't want her knowing about my Fi and I's personal life. Her best friend would tell her everything if she went to the reception. But anyways it is not a problem because my FI does not want to invite her.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Would you invite......:
    DId everyone miss the part about OP's FI being the godfather to this potential guest's children?  It's not as if she's JUST his ex's best friend - there's more of a relationship here. I can understand being a little uncomfortable, and I think I would have been REALLY uncomfortable if H had tried to invite his actual EX, but this is something entirely different, imo.   H should get to invite the people he feels are important to him.
    Posted by hrparker
    Absolutely agreed.  I was going to respond with the fact that it's up to FI not the bride in this particular situation....but the OP had already talked with her FI and he said he didn't want to invite the potential-guest in question.  Problem solved I suppose.
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