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July 2011 Weddings

introduction + advice

Hi ladies!

I have been lurking here for awhile (thanks for all the great tips and ideas, btw!) but I thought I would finally introduce myself. I'm getting married next July (Fri. the 22) in VA. I'm super excited about the whole process, but mostly can't wait to be married!

I'm also writing because I could use some NWR advice, and you ladies seem to have really level-headed opinions. I don't want to really bring this up to anyone IRL, since it's not a big deal and I don't want to drag any of my friends into it. This might be long, so feel free to move on now if you don't have time! :)

Basically, I'm frustrated with one of my college roommates (we've stayed really close sense we graduated) and need a reality check as to whether or not I should say anything to her. The situation is this: she has been single for a long time, and pretty sad about it - to the point where I don't really bring up WR or relationship stuff around her since I don't want to make her more uncomfortable. Well, about a month ago, she met someone and has had a total whirlwind romance - they are already talking about moving to be near each other, marriage, etc. I really like the guy and I do think they are great together, so I have been super supportive of her happiness. She is very level headed and I'm not worried about her making poor decisions. I've been calling her regularly (pretty much daily) to check in with her, defending her to some of our more judgmental friends, emailing her about things, etc. constantly.

Well, last week my mother was admitted to the hospital with heart problems. When she texted me something about her new guy, I responded and then sent a text saying "I can't really talk, my mom is in the hospital :(". She responded with "OMG - so sorry hope things are ok!"... and then I haven't heard anything from her since. This is unusual for our friendship - we typically have each other's backs in these situations, and this girl knows my mom personally. I'm feeling frustrated that I've been super supportive of her new relationship - and she's not really being there for me at all throughout this family situation (which, I hate to say it, feels a little more significant to me than a new boyfriend).

So, my question is this - do I just let this go, or do I find a way to bring this up to let her know about my hurt feelings? If I should bring it up, how?

Thanks for 'listening' to the new girl, ladies :) I appreciate it.

Re: introduction + advice

  • I'd let it go because honestly, she may be thinking that the fact you said "Can't really talk..my mom's in the hospital" means I'll contact you when I'm ready. She's probably trying to give you some space...if you're writing her and she's not writing you back then that would be a little different. BUT, if you haven't tried to contact her at all then I think she's probably just trying to give you the space that she thinks you need.
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  • I completetly agree with PP. She may be thinking that you are too busy and will get to her when you can. Now if she responded with something different then I would think that you have a point. Text or call her and see what her response is. Lightly bring up your mom, if she seems concerned they you are just over reacting (which is okk due to your situation) but if she blows over your mom and starts talkin about her new situation then tell her that you can't believe how insensitive she is being and that you will possibly get back to her after your mother is better.

    BTW I hope your mother gets better soon.
  • Thanks guys - I can definitely see what you mean about her giving me space. I will call her today and I'm sure everything will be fine :) This is why I needed an outside opinion first lol
  • I couldn't have said it better than the previous posters.  Cool
  • The ladies said it perfectly!!

    And welcome and congrats!!  =)
  • Welcome & congrats! Hope your mom's ok!!!
  • Thanks again for the welcomes and advice - I just talked to my friend and you guys were right! Things are fine :) I guess I just overreacted since emotions are a little high around here. But my mom is doing better today, so things are looking up!

    Next time, I promise to post something WR and without drama :) hehe

    And, I'm getting married in the Richmond area, Forever! What part of VA are you guys in?
  • Yes! Welcome :) and I hope your friend was just giving space...I know when I get into situations with friends sometimes it's hard to know whether they want space or not. Everyone is so different!

    Hope your mom feels better!!
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  • Welcome to the board!
    I think that the ladies gave some great advice! Just call her and feel things out. 
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  • A bit late to the post, but I'm glad that things worked out between you and your friend.  Hopefully your mom will be feeling much better soon and will be able to come back home!  Welcome to our board!  Congrats on your engagement and wedding!! :)  I'm glad that you were able to recognize the ladies on this board as people that you trust for great advice!  They are pretty awesome!  Welcome to the group!! :)
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  • We're date twins!!!! 284 days! :)

    Welcome to the board and I'm glad the situation worked out with your friend!  Hope your mom gets better soon!
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  • Welcome aboard and Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!  You'll find this board to be very helpful, as you may have gathered from the solid advice that's been given above.

    I hope all goes well with your mother!
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  • In Response to Re: introduction + advice:
    [QUOTE]I'd let it go because honestly, she may be thinking that the fact you said "Can't really talk..my mom's in the hospital" means I'll contact you when I'm ready. She's probably trying to give you some space...if you're writing her and she's not writing you back then that would be a little different. BUT, if you haven't tried to contact her at all then I think she's probably just trying to give you the space that she thinks you need.
    Posted by Brodie and Chevelle[/QUOTE]

    Ditto.  It seems to me she is being supportive of your need to focus on your mom.
  • I pretty much agree with the other girls but I also wanted to say welcome to the board!

    I hope your mom gets better!
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  • I'm super late to the post...but hello and welcome!! Glad to hear you're mom is doing better!
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