Honeymoon Discussions

Delayed HM: Thumbs up or down?

Hi ladies- I did a quick search of the boards so hopefully I'm not repeating this question. Just curious what everyone's experience was like if they had to delay their honeymoon for about a month. Was it a disappointment to go back to the real world right after the wedding or was it nice to have a great vacation to look forward to? I knew when we chose our wedding date that I'd still be in grad school so I couldn't take a lot of time off. I'm just wondering if the decision will still make sense to me when the date gets closer. TIA!
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Re: Delayed HM: Thumbs up or down?

  • We decided to go on a trip that we really wanted to take rather than find one that coincided with our wedding date.  We waited a month and we are both so glad we did.  We were so exhausted after our wedding that if we had gone right away we would have spent the first day or 2 doing nothing but sleeping.  By the time we actually went we were really able to enjoy every minute of it.
  • We'll be delaying ours. I'm a school teacher, so have to wait until summer break.
  • We nearly had to delay ours but didn't. I'd have been miserable going back to work the Monday after the wedding.
  • Thumbs up. We're delaying ours by a year.
  • Two thumbs up. We waited a month. Best decision ever. It gave us a chance to tie up all the loose ends with the wedding, deposit the checks, put away all the gifts and get all the thank yous out. It was nice to have everything done and really relax during our HM. Plus I was absolutely exhausted after the wedding, it would have stunk to loose two days of our honeymoon trying to recuperate.
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  • We'll be delaying it for a month since the wedding is during the spring semester for FI's college.  We'll probably do a minimoon right after the wedding for a couple of days, just to avoid going back to work that Monday.  I won't feel as bad sleeping too much during the minimoon, haha.
  • Got married in March; honeymooned in July.  Best decision ever.If I had a dollar for every bride and groom we saw fresh from the wedding who had colds, I could have paid for our trip.  Let the stress die down and then enjoy.
  • we delayed about a month. i took a few days off after the wedding. we were SO glad we did. I got all of my thank yous out, did all of our holiday shopping (HM was first 2 weeks of dec) and got everything straightened out after the wedding. by the time the HM rolled around it was perfect. in addition we were so exhausted for a few days after the wedding that the last thing i would have wanted to do was travel, i would've been so sleepy the first few days.

     

  • I'm feeling so much better about our decision- thanks everyone!!
  • IMO thumbs down. Yes it can be exhausting to leave for a big trip right after planning the biggest day of your life but that is what a honeymoon is for. It's an escape with your new DH for a trip to get away from it all before getting back into the real world and enjoying that newly wedded bliss. Delaying it a week or two is one thing, but FI and I laugh every time we see other Knotties saying we're taking our honeymoon 6 months later or a year later. I'm sorry but at that point it's no longer a honeymoon, it's just a great vacation. If you're concerned with being too tired afterwards, then delay it a few days for some much needed R&R, but don't delay it a month or two or more. By then you're settled into your new married lifestyle and are no longer honeymooning but just simply vacationing. Do what's best for you, but don't call it a honeymoon if you're not going until a couple months or more after the wedding.
  • Because of my husband's school schedule, we delayed our honeymoon by more than 2 months.  It worked for us because we had no other choice, but a honeymoon is going to be awesome, no matter what, so if someone put a gun to my head and said I had to go on honeymoon the day after my wedding, I would have done that, too! Pros: It was so nice to have something to look forward to after the big day was over.  Also, we both got the flu right after the wedding, so we would have been gross and sick on our island adventure. Cons: Going back to work the Tuesday after the wedding was a bit of a letdown.  Because we got the flu, though, I ended up staying home (and he stayed home from class) for the rest of the week.  We kind of had a honeymoon with crumpled up tissues and high fevers together :)
  • Guess none of us went on HMs since lunabeagle and her hysterically laughing FI say so. ::eyeroll::
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  • Belhurst you can roll your eyes all you want, it obviously won't help you read what was said any better. I said we laugh at the girls on here who say "We're waiting to take our honeymoon for 6 months or a year" because it's no longer considered a honeymoon at that point and it's just a great vacation. You said you went a month later, get your facts straight before you try to step up and call someone out. I was just trying to make a point that if you're going to push it back don't push it back too far or it's no longer continued a honeymoon! All the girls who say it's because of their teaching job or they or FI is finishing up the semester, well they're the ones who chose to set their wedding date in the middle of all that aren't they and have to wait.
  • I disagree that a delayed honeymoon is no longer a honeymoon. It is. BUT I do agree that I personally really needed the time away immediately after the wedding. Had I gone straight back to work, I'd have been a mess. I was saying it all through Ireland that I saw the honeymoon as so *necessary*... after all that stress, getting away to just have fun with no obligations and just be a couple ROCKS. I have to say, I wasn't tired at all post-wedding. We got married on a Saturday and flew out on the redeye Sunday night, landing in Dublin on Monday morning, and I was ready to dump the bags at the B&B and get moving around the city! DH was tired, but we just lost 2 or 3 hours for him to sleep, not days. Neither one of us got sick either, at least not how you all are saying. In Cork, I did pick up some sort of 24-hour stomach bug that was going around, but wedding or no wedding, if I'm within 3 miles of a stomach bug, I manage to catch it, even right here in NJ. They are the bane of my existence. So it's not 100% that you're ruining your honeymoon if you leave right away either.
  • We decided on a delayed HM so we could save up more money and stay longer. We're getting married in Sept. and going on our HM in January. It worked out well for us, especially since WI winters suck and we'll be headed to Mexico!!
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  • We are delaying our HM for exactly one month. I can't get time away from the office until then and our cruise was cheap at the end of October.
  • OK ok, so technically its not a honeymoon in the traditional sense, but who cares?  Do what works for you - just like your wedding - and its no one's business.  If you are still in school you will probably spend the entire time worrying about school - so yeah, you probably made the right decision.  Maybe going right after you graduate would be a nice time for both of you and a little reward for the hard work.  :)  Will you kind of get wistful once the wedding's over?  Probably.  But going back to work/school 2 days or 2 weeks later still just sucks.  Its always a let down.  Back to reality...time to pay the piper.  Just make sure if you are delaying it you have plans for one at some point.  I know just as many who delayed it and never went because "life" happened.Good luck and happy wedding (and honeymooning!)
  • My point exactly! Do what works for you, but it's just not a honeymoon if you're going months after the wedding. You have your whole life to go on vacation, but you only get one chance to take a honeymoon right after the biggest day of your life. Bask in it and enjoy it, don't put it off. The definition of a honeymoon is a vacation taken by a newly married couple within their first month of marriage during their initial period. Anything after that is just a vacation.
  • We're getting married in Sept and we'll be leaving right after for our honeymoon.  For where we work, it was far easier to take a solid week off, especially where we both had to get the weekend off to start with.  I'm really looking forward to going immediately after for the sole purpose of relaxing while being away from the 'real world.'  I'd be miserable if I had to go back to work two days later.  I've been looking forward to all of this for far too long to then wait even longer for the honeymoon.  But that's just my feeling on it.  There's certainly a lot of stipulations to a lot of peoples' situations as well.  Lucky for us, this is how it works best.
  • Personally, I agree with Luna. Whether its popular or not, a honeymoon six months or a year after IMO is not a honeymoon. You aren't newlyweds if you can celebrate your anniversary on your "honeymoon". I can agree that sometimes its easier to wait for a few weeks or a month in order to get a better deal or time off of work, but I also have seen the people who want to wait to "save up" or whatever and never get a honeymoon. Just like the people who elope with plans to have a big "party" in a few months. . . It just doesn't usually happen.... at least not in my experience. Personally FI and I are getting married on a Saturday and we are leaving for our honeymoon on Monday for just short of a week. (we have a toddler so getting away for more than a few hours will seem like a vacation!) Bottom line.......... do what's right for you and throw the rest in the trash can.
  • I have to say I think Luna is a bit too opinionated..a HM is a HM no matter what, if it's your first vacation w/ your new DH...we are going on a minimoon straight after the wedding on 9/12/09 for 3 or 4 days to Lake George, and then having a big honeymoon is Jan for two weeks to Fiji..we could afford more then, Fiji is m dream HM...and we're still going somewhere close the monday after our wedding...i'd rather have delayed it 4 mos and do something that both me and my fiance would love than throw some money together to go away the day after the wedding to someplace neither of us wanted to go just bc a few people feel a honeymoon is only a honeymoon if it's the week after the wedding...sometimes u need to just keep ur opinions to urself Luna
    BFP#1 12/11/09, Natural M/C @ 15w1d 2/24/10 BFP#2 06/14/10 EDD 02/23/11 Daniel Victor arrived on his EDD 2/23/11!! BFP#3 11/9/11 EDD 7/21/12 Megz
  • We are doing a mini moon of things we enjoy doing or have wanted to do together around town for example a nearby theme and water park and some other things. and for our annaversary next year we're doin the cruise we had wanted but couldnt afford to book at the time.
  • Everyone does things differently these days and there are no set rules on how anyone should choose to do anything for their wedding. But with that said, I too agree that a trip several months after the wedding is not a HM. If that's the way you have to do it because of your job(s) or budget reasons then you are doing the smart thing by waiting, but I also don't think it is considered a HM anymore. As a pp mentioned, if it's your anniversary then it's an anniversary trip is a fantastic idea if you can't afford to do it right after the wedding. What a great way to celebrate your first year together! :0)
  • I'd have to agree with Megz. My fiance and I aren't going for probably about a year after the wedding because he's also still going to be in school. I just think it's a little crazy to say that it's "just a vacation" if you don't go right away. A honeymoon IS a vacation, no matter when you go.
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  • You are considered a Newlywed for the first year of marriage. A honeymoon is whenever newlyweds take it, right after, or a year after or more. (The old Newlywed Game on TV had married couples from 0-2 years!!!) If they qualified as Newlyweds, so should you!! Postpone it, you will be much happier!PS: LunaBeagle, who made you and your husband the honeymoon police?Laugh your head off if you want, but you are not the arbitrator of such matters and why do you feel the need to bring others down. Very unkind of you.
  • I kinda wish we had waited so that we could take a break now and just be alone together But, I was also excited to be able to go somewhere and just relax right away because of all the stress. I see positives both way, it just depends whether or not you want to take a break from the real world now or later :)
  • The Honeymoon Police?! Hahahahahahaha, no it's just the facts! If it's 6 or 8 months after your wedding and you're on a vacation it's not your Honeymoon! Also, it was called the Newlywed Game NOT the Honeymooners Game. Nice try. It's interesting that the only ones getting all riled up about this are the ones who aren't taking a "real honeymoon". There was never even a question, when planning our wedding and honeymoon when we would be going on our honeymoon, we decided not to leave the next day, instead we are leaving two days later so we're not exhausted when we get there. People are always asking where are you going on your honeymoon? No one ever asks when are you taking your honeymoon because it's just assumed it'll be after the wedding.
  • First of all, I don't believe any of us are all riled up about this.  Second of all, if you and your FI make so much money that you can afford the HM of your dreams straight after your wedding, good for you.  But you shouldn't be putting other people down either.  We are going away straight after the wedding, it's jsut what's condsidered a "minimoon."  And the one of our dreams is in Jan.  The resort we are staying at are still treating us like honeymooners, and that's exactly what it is.  OUR HONEYMOON.  Get over yourself, hun.  Your opinion isn't the only one that matters here.  And people handle the same things differently all the time.  Money and school are big deals now a days.
    BFP#1 12/11/09, Natural M/C @ 15w1d 2/24/10 BFP#2 06/14/10 EDD 02/23/11 Daniel Victor arrived on his EDD 2/23/11!! BFP#3 11/9/11 EDD 7/21/12 Megz
  • You responding and trying to fire back at me is showing that you're riled up hunny if it didn't phase you then you wouldn't be defending yourself. OF COURSE the resort is treating you like honeymooners! That's their job! They want to schmooze you so you want to continue coming back and tell all your friends to tell their friends hence making them more money. Yes, school and jobs are more important, but FI and i actually planned in advance and waited until we both graduated and had jobs that let us take time off for our wedding and honeymoon. You need time after your wedding to relax and bask in your blissful happiness of being newlyweds. The joke is on those of you who go back to work or school two days later. If you're still in school, you were either rushing into the wedding or not planning to have it during a school break.
  • Seeing as a "real honeymoon" is literally drinking mead (honey wine) for a month after marriage for good luck, then maybe we need to lighten up. How about being a little less quick to lecture and a little more supportive. You know, kinda like what these boards are meant for?
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