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July 2011 Weddings

FI involvement in the planning process

What is your FI involved in? What has he picked for the wedding? What does he feel strongly about? 

Are you doing anything to surprise FI at the wedding? I'm thinking of doing something to surprise him but I don't know what yet...ideas?
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Re: FI involvement in the planning process

  • He likes to stay in the know!  He doesn't necessarily have any firm opinions on anything, so he lets me go do my thing and I'll usually come up with a few options for everything and show him and we pick together what we like (like the DJ, invitations, starting to look at some decor and stuff)

    We made an agreement--He comes up with a down payment for a house and figures all the legal mumbo jumbo out, I pay for our portion of the wedding (both our parents are contributing too), make sure everything gets paid and stuff.  It's good, cuz we both have big projects to work on, and can ask the other person for advice and opinions :)
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  • edited October 2010
    He likes to see what I have been planning and what my ideas are.  He'll voice them if he does or doesn't, or if he really doesn't care.  So, I'm very happy to have him do that.  He definitely keeps me on track and tries to keep me on budget, which hasn't been too hard.  He has been very adament about the photobooth.  He is the most excited for that!

    As for surprising him with something?  Not for the ceremony or reception.  He'll be getting my B-Pics after the reception.  No ideas yet on what he'll be getting for a wedding gift.
  • I chose depends on the day. FI likes to stay in the know and likes to "think" he has the final say lol. The other day he made a comment about being the one to give the executive decision on things . . sure honey whatever you think! :-)

    The only thing FI has felt very strongly about is the cake! He was the reason we went with Coldstone instead of a normal cake. He has also voiced opinions on the BM dresses but only small little things that he likes and doesn't. He is good about giving opinions when asked.

    I'm thinking about giving one of the GM's a letter to give to FI the morning of the wedding but I'm still on the fence about this. Not sure if it will happen or not. I love the idea of e-pics but I'm going to wait and do that as our 1 year anniversary gift.

    I'm pretty satisfied with his involvement and I'm also happy that a lot of the time he leaves it up to me.
  • He likes to have some input, and he'll always offer an opinion. He's not nearly as into the planning as I am, but he at least pretends to be interested when I talk to him about most things...

    He is also in charge of photography (because he's a photographer himself), and there are a few little tasks he's got on his list.

    So I'd say he's about as involved as I'd like him to be!
  • He's into it. Sometimes I wish he was a little bit less. There are some things that he is being very controlling over (to be fair, I have mine too) such as the website and stationary. It can get frustrating at times, but there are other areas that he doesn't care too much about - decor, attire, so I can have my way with them.

    For a surprise, I will probably write a short note for a GM to give to him that morning. We are already writing our own vows, so it will be short and sweet, anything I wouldn't want to say in front of both of our families. I am also going to give him an album of B-pics. He will be completely shocked, because it is pretty uncharacteristic of me to do something like that, but he will love it.  

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  • I chose that it depends on the day.  FI is actually pretty involved in things except for a lot of the little DIY details, which I'm adding because I want.  But he is really involved in the cake, DJ/music selections, and the menu for the reception.  Usually I present options and he helps make the final decision, like we were looking at invitations and I was really torn between 2 and he loved one of them, so that decided that!  He doesn't quite have the "big picture" image of what the day will be like since I'm doing a lot of the details, but he's pretty involved.

    And as for a surprise, we talked about exchanging gifts or letters before the ceremony but decided that wasn't for us.  But I did come up with a little surprise for him.  FI is a big tequila fan, so I'm probably going to get a small bottle of Patron and shot glasses so that he and his 6 GM and dad can do one shot at the hotel before leaving for the ceremony.  We're leaving the hotel around 11 and ceremony is at 2, so I figure one shot won't hurt him and might calm his nerves.
  • FI cares about the wedding, but doesn't have many opinions. He will give me his input on certain things, but he's easy to please and we like the same things.

    I'm pretty sure I'm going to have one of my bridesmaids deliver a letter to him before we see each other for the first time on the wedding day,  but I don't expect he will do anything in return. It's just something I want to do, like a set of private vows.
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  • edited October 2010
    He's 100% on board and involved.  I'm the one who sets up the vendor appointments and does all the research, but he likes to know exactly what's happening and he prefers to be involved in every decision that's made (which works because he has had some really great ideas and insight).  And, throughout the entire planning process, we've both done some give-and-take when it comes to making the decisions... sometimes he gets what he wants and sometimes I get what I want if we can't come to an agreement.

    It's been really great, because knowing that he's involved takes so much of the stress off of me since we can share all of the decision-making and, worst case scenario, if something doesn't work out I can just blame it on him!  Haha!  :-)

    The only surprise at the wedding (aside from the two gifts I'm giving him) is that if his dad and step-sister can't make it to the U.S. from Spain, I'm going to have them videotape a toast and message to FI to be played on a giant screen during the other toasts at our reception.  He hasn't seen his dad in about 15 years, so I want him to be at our wedding virtually, if he can't be there physically.
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  • FI is super involved in our planning process, waaay more than I thought he would. He's gone to all of the vendor meetings with me and is in charge of designing our STD's, table numbers, invitations, place cards, anything paper related (he went to school for graphic design so he's much better at it than me!).
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  • My FI is incredibly involved. His ideas and suggestions have been extremely helpful. He is like my male wedding planner or MOH. I'm sure that it will start to get on my nerves very soon, but right now I'm loving it.

    He had a say in the colors, flowers, photo, video, venue, DJ, BM dresses and he would be having a say in my dress if I had not put my foot down. He wants us to make all decisions pertaining to the wedding together. It has been working out for us and I really think it's only fair since we are both paying for the wedding. He is as excited as I am.  
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  • Yes, he is involved, he picked the venue and he also help picked the colors for the wedding and he also helped in picking the wedding package.  Probably would have picked my dress if he could have...Lol.....

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  • I guess I am the only one who is going to say that FI is really not involved at all. I narrowed down our venue search to 2 venues and he helped make the decision on the venue. Other than that, he really hasn't had a lot of input and he doesn't really want to with the exception of cake (he wants cupcakes) and music decisions. I run things by him and let him see things. If he has an opinion on something he will definitely chime in though.
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  • All of the surprise ideas are great! I think I might surprise my FI with a popcorn bar or something like that...he loves popcorn. Not sure though!!

    And my FI is fairly involved in the wedding. Some days he really doesn't want to have anything to do with it...but I can't make decisions without him at all. Some things he feels more strongly about than others...but that's okay!!

    He really wants and limo and I don't care if we have one or not..so that's kind of interesting. So I made that his job to look into. :) He was VERY involved in food and cake and reception location. He went to a flower meeting with me and said he didn't want to go back..so I did that with my mom :). Poor guy!
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  • I chose depends on the day, but I would say it depends more on the topic than the day. He's really interested in stuff that he thinks is important and what he feels needs to be done now. But when I mention things that I'm looking at or planning to do that won't actually need to be done for a while, he's not so interested.
    So I guess he's interested in the actual planning but not the brainstorming and day dreaming.
  • Oh! I'm in the minority here.

    He wants me to do everything.  I think he's gonna pick a tie.  He has veto power.
  • it really depends on what it is. food? he wants an input. decor? there could be none and it wouldn't matter to him =]
  • My FI is pretty involved, but that is because I involve him. He wouldn't do anything unless I asked him to, but when I do he is very interested, like in going to tastings, picking flowers, etc. He definitely doesn't do any of the planning himself, but he is always ready to help when I ask or just need to talk about it. 
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