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July 2011 Weddings

seating chart, addressing invites, etc.

hi ladies! a couple of questions for you...

first, addressing. how does one address an envelope to two people who aren't married and aren't living together, but are in a relationship? both my older siblings are like this and i don't know what to do!


second, seating. this has been a thorn in my side for a while. there are going to be a few distinct "groups" at our wedding: people from college, people from grad school, different sides of the family...do we assign seating? my first thought was to let people sit wherever, but i'm not sure if it will be a big mess. of course i want people to mingle but forced mingling is akward!

thanks ladies! have a wonderful Halloween weekend!

Re: seating chart, addressing invites, etc.

  • For your first question, I have a few people like that too on my list. I'm just going to list both their names on two seperate lines but send the invite to the "main" person we know. Like, FI's friend who's a groomsman has a girlfriend, so we're inviting them both, putting both their names on the invitation and sending it to his friend.

    such as..
    Mr. D. H.
    Miss K. M.

    I'm not sure whose name should go first though..thats just what made the most sense to me.

    I can't help you much with the second question because I'm not assigning seating. It's just not something done at weddings around here. Because that's what I'm used that, that's what I would suggest you do. People will seat with others they feel comfortable with and mingle better when they aren't forced to (in my humble opinion.)
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  • I agree with PP on the first question. We're going to do that too. And I think we'll send the invite to the person we're closest too or if it's even I'll send it to the female, because she's more likely to write it down and remember.

    As for the 2nd question, we are assigning tables. We will also have about four different groups without much overlap, and it's important to me that everyone gets to sit with people that they know. So we'll keep the families separate and then try to seat college people and church people together as much as possible. I think assigning tables instead of seats is a good idea because it still leaves a little flexibility and makes the assigning process a little easier too.

  • First question seems to be covered.

    With distinct groups, I would assign tables. You're right - forced mingling never works. Put groups together that you know will enjoy one another's company.

    I think that assigned tables cuts down on the confusion & mayhem, and ensures that nobody gets stuck alone at a table where they don't know anyone.
  • I agree with PP on the first question.  I'm addressing it to both and listing the person I'm closer to first.  I wasn't planning to do separate lines, just "Miss Jane Doe & Mr. Bill Smith".  But I haven't actually done any yet, so I may switch to separate lines if it's too long.  In the case of your brothers, depending on how close their relationships are you could just do your brother and guest.

    On the second: I'm a fan of assigned tables.  Especially if your college friends or your grad school friends know each other, aside from just having something in common. 
  • FI and I have received tons of wedding invites addressed to...
    Mr. Jeff FI's Lastname & Mandy Mylastname
    and vice versa and they sent it to whomever friend/family memeber it is. 
    I Plan to do the same
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I think you should do assign seats, or at least assigned tables. It would be unfortunate to have some people feel uncomfortable because there is not enough room on a table they want to sit at, or feel like they are unwanted. I think it's just easier on the guests.
  • Ditto everyone else on the invitations.

    I also like assigned tables. It is important for me for everyone to be comfortable & having a good time. To me that means that everyone gets a table that they can call "home" for the night that has people they know at it. If people are able to enter the room and go wherever they want, they start pulling chairs around, some tables will fill up while others are left with only a few people, people have to sit with strangers and feel awkward, etc. I think that people are much more concerned with spending time with those they know and love than they are with mingling. The mingling type will mill around anyway and make friends. 
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  • I am an advocate for the assigned seats!  I think you're stressing yourself out too early on that one.  Wait until you have RSVPs and worry about it when you know who will be coming.
    I married my best friend on July 8, 2011
  • FI's cousin sent us an invite to his wedding.  It was addressed to:

    Mr. Brian FI'slastname
    Ms. Jennifer Mylastname

    and they sent it to FI's house.  It worked well.  And if I run across it, I'll do the same.Cool

  • We're doing assigned seating.  It just make it easier because we're having a plated meal.  They won't have to sit where their name is, but they will have an escort card to let the waiters know who gets what.  We'll be seating FI's family with FI's family...and my family with my family.  There won't be any mixing of the families.  All of our closest friends are in the WP so we don't have to worry about friends.  But if we did, we'd just put friends together we know would get a long.
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