Family vaca as honeymoon??? Opinions/advice?

spechtholdn

Let me start by saying that I went to Aruba with my mom for a trip she earned from work this past January. I fell in love with it and want to go back so bad. I have been in talks with my mom, dad, sisters, FI and future MIL about do a whole big family vacation right around the same time our wedding date will be.

Now, currently we are saving money because the big splurge is going to be on our dream venue. I am not sure if we would be able to afford two amazing vacations within 4 months of each other so we have been thinking that we can use our family trip as our honeymoon trip as it will be after the wedding. We were planning on getting a big beach house for a week in Aruba.

Does anyone think this is a good/bad idea? Should we just say we want to cancel the family trip? Is the honeymoon really that important that you have to be alone? We are a very tight knit family. Its just FI and his mom, myself, my parents, my 22 yr old sister and her BF, and my 14 yr old sister.

Does anyone have any other ideas that could include two vacations and a dream wedding?

Ginabean2011

I personally love family vacations but it isn't what I would want for my honeymoon. If you guys all get along and have a great time together (and your FI agrees) then go for it.

spechtholdn

We are all very close and both FI and I value our family above all. My FI calls my parents mom and pops, I call his mama. We would both rather do stuff with our families over anything. We even want our parents to live with us when they are elderly. I just kinda feel like its might be considered corny. Usually Im not one who care what others think, but a friend mentioned that it was a dumb idea.

kaesha

IMHO, I think you can do the honeymoon with the family, so long as you carve out space and time away from them. Maybe get a hotel room for a night or two? Carve out an afternoon or two to do your own thing at the very least.

I really believe that honeymoons are about mindsets. We had a DW, and spent a lot of time with our families and friends on Hawaii after the wedding because his live in England and mine are scattered across Canada. So, it was more important for us to have time with the people we see rarely. We stayed with my parents for the first few nights, but after the wedding we got our own place for a week (and then we moved back in with my parents). So, really, we spent our honeymoon surrounded by other people, and I wouldn't have traded that for the world.

Having said that, (and at the risk of TMI) I'm glad we had our own place. We so could not have had crazy honeymoon sex with my parents in the bedroom next to us.

spechtholdn

Well just that has reassured what we originally planned. I know we would have lots of alone time. We currently live with his mom and after the wedding will be moving back in with my parents because we will be buying thier house the following year, so its not an issue to be around them. I also know that my parents will make sure to treat us with dinner for two and excursions alone, while they go do other stuff. I think I am going to stick with this plan and am sure it will be the best for us.

Lilou902

I think it souns fun.  I agree alone time is important.  We are going to an amazing resort and would love to share that with my family if I had the chance.  Have a great trip!

dbrinegar6272

I'm glad to see others are thinking the same thing.  We want to get married in Hawaii.  Together we have 6 boys, range from 2-20 yrs.  Including them in the wedding along with our parents is very important to us, but we would also like a few days to our self.  Our plan is to stay with the family for 3-4 days, do some sightseeing, etc, then have the wedding.  After the ceremony, we will leave and go on to a more secluded and romantic place possibly a different island for a few days.  Our parents will be in charge of the kids while we enjoy a short honeymoon.  Everyone gets to go on a vacation, spend time with the family and be part of the wedding ceremony. 

golden1215

Normally I would say its fine but for FI and I our honeymoon will actually be our very first solo vacation together EVER. 

I think its your call- fine either way

Heather822

Definitely not something I would want to do.
But as others said ~ your choice.
What does your FI think?
Bottom line is you just have to do what makes you happy in life.

acmj11

I don't think there are HM rules.  Make sure that FI is 100% on board if you choose to do a family vacation/HM.  If you are both fine with your HM being a family vacation, I say go for it.

alithebride

if that's what you want to do and it works financially why not?

spechtholdn

Yes, FI is on board with the idea. He loves it just as much as I do and it would make more sense financially. Not to sound like a brat, but we are paying for wedding all by ourselves, so I know if we do a family vacation my parents would pay for a majority of stuff. We have decided to really slurge on our venue (we want to treat our guest to a night they would never get to have in thier lifetime.) By this I mean most of our family never even graduated or went to a prom. The most expensive thing they have done is go to applebees for dinner. We are holding ceremony and reception at an art musuem to give them a once in a lifetime event. Kind of our gift for our family and friends.

kaesha

dbrinegar6272 - Come visit us over on the HI local board if you're thinking of planning a wedding there!

mysticl

It's your honeymoon do what you want.  If someone else doesn't like it they don't have to do it for theirs.

melliott09

We are doing a joint family vaca/wedding/honeymoon in Myrtle Beach next July. It was easier this way so we know all our family will be there for our special day. We will go on a private HM later in the year just us.

It doesn't work for everyone, but if it works for you, go for it!!!

stephdonjon

If you genuinely love spending time with your family (and your FI truly doesn't mind) then go for it! I think it's great you have such a tight knot relationship, and it's really cool that your two families are willing to vacation together. Like others said, be sure to set aside time for just the two of you so that it does feel like a honeymoon and not just another vacation. Even if it's just an afternoon or a couple of nights away from everyone else. But yeah, I think it sounds fun and I hope you have a great time!

BluValkyrie

Depends on your family.....I love my parents dearly but I'd really rather be with just my new husband than know there are anywhere near by....it goes doubly for my FMIL....without the loiving her dearly part....with her it's more of a "oh please just go away and leave me alone!"  Yeah, having her around on the honeymoon is the LAST thing we want.

spechtholdn

I guess that's a good point if everyone doesn't get along. That's not our case. I love my FMIL as much as my own parents, and vice versa with my FI and my parents. I will love having us all share our family uniting from start of the engagement to the end of the honeymoon. We will DEFINATELY make some time for ourselves away from everyone else though. I am really looking forward to when this time finally gets here.