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September 2011 Weddings

bride's maid dilemma

I am having a problem with one of my bridesmaids. She has complained already about the cost of the dress and didn't even ask to see my ring after I got engaged for two weeks. I asked her to be in my wedding shortly after I got engaged because I was in her wedding a little over a year ago. However, I am feeling that I don't want her to be in my wedding because she will just complain the whole time and stress me out more. Can you unask someone to be in your wedding?

Re: bride's maid dilemma

  • It is kind of tacky to un-ask someone. It is a little too late now for you, but that is why most people recommend waiting until a year before the wedding to ask people. Ok, so that was my prim and proper side. The bride-to-be in me wanted to ask everyone that I thought I wanted in my wdding right away because I was so excited. Gratefully, my FH was more cool headed and kept me from asking everyone with the exception of my Matron of Honor.
    As far as your question, you can un-invite her (be prepared to lose the friendship and catc hell on some of the boards - but screw them!), you can hope she drops out, you can give her a way out ("this wedding will likely be expensive for the bridal party and I understand if you can't be in it.".... blah blah blah), you can talk to her about it, you can have someone else talk to her or you can put up with her bitching. I know those are options and not answers, but I dont know you or your personality, so I thought I would throw it all out there. If it were me I would tell her my concerns and see if we could work it out, if not then I would un-invite her.

    ok, so that was long.... good luck to you :)
    ~Suze
    image Sept 2011 Favorite Registry Item
  • You can kick her out, but as suze said, be prepaired to lose the firendship.  I was kicked out of a wedding and that was the end of that relationship!

    Try to work things out.  Don't force too much wedding stuff on her, especially since you still have 22 months to go!

    siggya>
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