Connecticut

Please advise me on a sticky situation

A couple sticky situations, actually.

I am working on my TY notes, and I have a few people (maybe 4 couples out of about 65) who didn't give gifts or cards.  This is not a big deal, except that 2 of them are saying they brought cards, with cash (figures) and the cards "grew legs" and walked away from Stonington Meadows.

Awesome.

So, what do I do?  I mean, the cards are gone.  I'm not getting the money - let's be realistic.  And these 2 couples KNOW I didn't get their money.  So how do I word their TY note?  Everyone's freaking out and SM is no help, of course.  I emailed Keri but what can she really do?

And should I somehow, delicately, try to feel out the other couples to see if they didn't give a gift, or if they DID, if it also went missing?  I truly don't care about gifts.  I didn't get married to get presents.  But if my friends gave a gift and it got stolen, I want to know about it.

I just don't know what to do :(

Re: Please advise me on a sticky situation

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Well, for the couples who are in the loop on the situation, I'd still thank them for the gift.

    For the other two, you can always send them a TY note for attending.   That's still a very nice thing to do and they may wonder, "Did you get my gift?"
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Banana.
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  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    Ok, good advice.  I was kind of leaning that way anyway, just wanted some feedback.

    It's frustrating.  Everything about my reception was perfect, and then I find out about this.

  • starrbuk13starrbuk13 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ditto banana.  thank the 2 who know what's going on for their gift, and the other 2 i would just write "thanks for celebrating our day with us."  if i got one of those cards in the mail, you best believe i'd make sure the B&G got my gift.  (i'd want to stop payment on a check if i could do it before someone else got the money!)
  • edited December 2011
    Totally with Banana.  On a side note, that totally stinks :(
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  • edited December 2011
    That stinks, I was at a wedding recently and noticed that there was a huge pile of cards out in the lobby in a basket and when I mentioned it to the bride's mom (I went to the ladies room and saw the cards just out there with no one around to witness a possible theft) she got the coordinator to put them in a box, but then the lady was in a huff and said this is an upscale place, I've never had anything missing in the 5 years I've been here. Well, poop on that lady, there is always a first time!! 
  • edited December 2011
    I went to a wedding where all the cards were stolen, including the one I gave. We didn't find out until about a year or so later who took them (an old friend of the bride who had a drug problem). I'd still appreciate a thank you. Thanking them for sharing in your day.
  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Thing is, we actually did have a card box but some people didn't see it on the gift table.  The 2 cards that went missing were not, to the best of my knowledge, in the box.  Figures.

    I'll most likely end up sending TYs to the people I'm unsure about.  But FWIW, there are 1 or 2 couples who I know for a fact didn't give a card or a gift and they aren't getting a TY.  The 3 course dinner and 5 hours of open bar was their thank you lol.
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    Oh Jenny, I do agree with you that if you give nothing there's no reason to write the TY note.  Unless we had someone travel to be there, we didn't write any TY notes just for attending.

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_please-advise-sticky-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:bfbee475-45b9-4724-8463-a1efe37439b1Post:c386b239-976f-4c10-acb3-8be2791eaba0">Re: Please advise me on a sticky situation</a>:
    [QUOTE]I went to a wedding where all the cards were stolen, including the one I gave. We didn't find out until about a year or so later who took them (an old friend of the bride who had a drug problem). I'd still appreciate a thank you. Thanking them for sharing in your day.
    Posted by lpellegrino[/QUOTE]

    First- I agree. I'd send them something thanking them for attending.

    SECOND- I am sooooo worried about this. I shouldn't freak out yet, but one of my mom's cousins who we haaaaad to invite has a SERIOUS serious drug problem. I just hope he doesn't end up coming. You want to think the best of people, but I know 100 percent in my mind if he comes- they will be stolen.
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