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October 2011 Weddings

Kids at the Wedding?

I'm curious... are you planning an "adults only" wedding or are you inviting kids? And what are your reasons for inviting/not inviting kids?


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Re: Kids at the Wedding?

  • I was at an adult only wedding a few years ago, and no one danced. Having kids there gives people a reason to get up and dance, it makes it a lot more fun.

    We are having kids, but it is only family kids, who are a lot..
  • We're doing adults only. It's just going to be too much of an adult style party. Plus we don't really like kids and not that many of our friends have children. I can only think of 2 couples it will effect and I know both of them would love a "night off".
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  • edited November 2010
    originally, we didn't want kids at our wedding, but after a little thinking, we decided, while we'd rather kids NOT be there, there are so few amongst our friends and family that it really wouldn't matter; I think there is maybe 10 kids under the age of 12 total; maybe give or take a few.

    Aside from my cousin's daughters 9one will be 10, the other will be 8....I think) seating my grandmother (their great-grandmother), there are no children in our wedding party (I really don't find ring bearers or flower girls cute or adorable)
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  • Considering my siblings are kids, we love kids, kids love us, close friends have children, etc. We decided to have kids at the wedding and reception. Plus our venue has a playscape surrounded by a picket fence. So that will help keep them occupied. May even keep me distracted since I love swinging on swings.
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  • The kids are all first cousins that FI and I see all the time and spend time with so we want them there.
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  • We're having kids there, but it was never really up for discussion. There are WAAY to many children on both sides. Our venue, luckily, provides childcare and many parents have told us they are excited to have their kids within walking distance but can have some fun of their own.

    One of my brothers had no kids at his wedding, and it was hot button issue because my other brothers have a couple of children each. Their reasoning was that kids misbehave and cry and they didn't want that to ruin their day...(I'll leave my personal comments away, but in short, whatever.) I think it was more of a hot button issue with my parents than it was with my other brothers. A few others didn't show because they thought it was rude.
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  • I like kids, but not really at weddings. I see it as an adult party. We really don't want to invite kids, but we're going to. It'll just be easier for our friends. Pretty much everyone with them is out of town, and it would just be too difficult for them. I also don't want to offend them, which I know it would. (Side note, the cat is sitting on my lap and just tried to chew on my ring. Wtf?!? bad kitty!) I have a few friends with kids now. There are two reasons I don't like kids at weddings. I can't stand it when a baby starts crying during the ceremony (esp if the parents just sit there and don't take the kid out), and I hate it when they let them run all over do and whatever they want at the reception. If you aren't going to control them, get a babysitter and don't bring them.

    Having said that, I can only think of 4 people being invited that have young kids. Maybe 5, not sure if one person is going to make our final guest list or not. Of course two of these people are big time offenders of letting the kids do whatever they please at the reception. I thought about a kids table, but that could cause problems too if they get too rowdy. I've thought about a babysitter at the reception, but there isn't really extra space for that.

    I wish it was acceptable to include littles notes in the invitations: no crying babies allowed. Only well behaved children allowed. LOL.

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  • Children welcome for ours.
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  • We are only inviting family kids, we didn't want to have our adult friends not to be able to come because of children on the list. 
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  • Thanks everyone for your thoughts.  It hadn't really occured to me to have an "adults only" reception but it came up when we were visiting FI's family over Thanksgiving.  His family was actually encouraging me to say no kids because it's just an added expense and the parents like an excuse to have a night away from the kids. 

    I am leaning toward just leaving it up to the parents whether or not they want to bring their kids. 
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  • I really have no children on my side but FI's is another story.  We talked about it but FMIL about had a coronary at the mere mention of no children, so we decided to include them. 
  • We're inviting kids, but I know on my side of the family, people will not really bring them.  They like a "night out" date night type of thing... they want to drink and then go to a hotel room (my family is out of town)... so they're welcome, but they probably won't come.

    FI's side however, there are going to be kids, but I don't really mind as long as thier parents are minding them.  They'll dance and whatnot. It'll be cute :)
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  • There really aren't kids in my family. All of my cousins are old enough that they aren't "kids," but still young enough to not have kids of their own.

    FI's family has some kids, but most will be 8 or 9 and older. His cousins do have a couple young children. I would prefer that they aren't there, but it would create too much of an issue for me to say so. If either of the kids make any type of scene during the ceremony, I will be PISSED though, so hopefully, they will behave.
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  • we havent decided yet. the only reason i wanted to include them was bc 3 of my BM's have babies, as well as one of my close friends i really want to attend. but ive talked to all of them and they dont intend to bring the babies, they are looking forward to a weekend to themselves. my FSIL will have hers there of course since her daughter will be our flower girl, and our son will be there, but i'm not keen on having a bunch of kids. it is, after all, new orleans. there arent really any children on my side that would attend, and i can think of maybe a handful on FI's, so i'm banking on an adult only reception.
  • JenS711JenS711 member
    100 Comments
    edited November 2010
    I wanted adults only that there aren't that many kids on my side other than my mom's cousin's kids.But Joe wanted his cousins kids to come. So we are now limiting our guest list so thirds cousins only. So only Joe and my cousins kids will be invited anyone past that will not be allowed. My moms cousins all quite a bit older than me and I wasn't invited to theirs so I figure they can't be too upset if their children aren't invited to ours, and if they are and its enough for them not to come than I'm ok if they don't show...sounds bratty but with the guest list ever growing I'm putting my foot down.

    I never really understood why some people go insane if their kid is not invited. Every wedding my family went to without kids was a huge relief to them and completely worth finding a babysitter. Its not that we don't likeds but there are just too many and we don't know most of them. The ones we are closest to are getting invited.

    Plus with all the alcohol I'm not entirely sure I'd want my future kids to be around that, I still remember my uncle being super drunk at my other uncles wedding and I was like 6..... that might be why I don't drink much now that I think about it
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  • i have alot of kids in my family..so not haiving kids around was not an option for me..my family is all really close so i couldnt imagine not having the kids there..plus i love kids!! =)
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  • I have 1 teen I'm inviting (she's actually going to be a jr-bridesmaid.)  I don't really consider her a "kid" though.  No others under 21.  I want an adult reception, I'm not a big kid person.  Plus, the only kids I know are all toddlers or infants, we don't have any others in either of our families.
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  • Our wedding is a Saturday evening - so its mostly adults only...there are a few kids attending, but because they are close family or because they have traveled a ways with their parents (from CA to CT).
  • We will be having children at our wedding. It really won't be too big of a deal because with the exception of one, they are all involved in the wedding. My 2 nieces will be flower-girls and my nephew will be the ring bearer. One of my best friends from college has a son a few months older than my nephew, so he will be there as well.

    So I will have 4 kids under the age of 6 there (2 5 year olds a 3 year old and a 2 year old!)
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  • slyoung17slyoung17 member
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    edited November 2010

     We are not having kids at our wedding for two reasons:
    1. My fiance and I both have huge families and a have a lot friends that have kids that are under the age of 18. We already have a large guest lists without including kids so we just decided it would be more affordable for us not to include them.

    2. No offense to anyone....I promise.....but sometimes I think some children are too young to attend weddings. I've been to some weddings and receptions where they were running around, yelling, crying out during the ceremony and lets face it people.....not everyone has the common courtesy to excuse themselves when their babies are crying or tell them to stop running around.

    But don't get me wrong I love children and want to have them one day and I realize there are well behaved children out there and there are parents who can handle their children and make them behave but I'm just not willing to take that chance at my wedding. My only exception to that is if the bride and groom have kids of their own then of course they should be included in the wedding.

    Like I said before I hope I don't offend anyone. It's just an opinion and something to think about when you invite children to the wedding.
    I'm interested in hearing more opinions. Smile

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  • We are not having kids. We have several babies to consider, so they won't even know what's going on and we would just prefer to not deal with the few that might be there.

  • were having kids but no toddlers or infants. Kids can be entertained and follow directions and don't always cause a distraction. We don't have to worry about toddlers ripping everything apart and babies screaming during the ceremony. The only people it would matter to agree they dont want to bring them anyway.
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  • It wasn't a question for us, we are having the kids invited.  We are actually having an activity table for the kids just off the dance floor for them to play at, color, and crafts, and the parents to be able to have a great time.
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  • Our wedding is going to be 18+ and mosy our family and friends are thrilled, as surprising as that sounds lol, and yes some of them have kids.  We just decided that we want it to be adults only so the people who have kids don't have to worry about what the kids are doing every second and so the kids don't get bored.  Our hotel gave us the option of hiring a baby sitter and setting them up in a room with the kids for people who cannot find a sitter.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2011-weddings_kids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:650Discussion:18a35719-db97-45fa-8fac-22e110df46aePost:c1d10346-6d2a-432e-9d24-bd56e507d418">Re: Kids at the Wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]were having kids but no toddlers or infants. Kids can be entertained and follow directions and don't always cause a distraction. We don't have to worry about toddlers ripping everything apart and babies screaming during the ceremony. The only people it would matter to agree they dont want to bring them anyway.
    Posted by gower2be[/QUOTE]

    Don't forget that if they are really young infants the parents may not feel comfortable leaving them with someone else, or even might not be able to if the baby is still nursing.  One of my bridesmaids is having a baby in April and I expect that even if our wedding is "adults only" that she'll want to have her baby there. 
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  • FI and I have three boys and they are a huge part of the wedding so if our guests want to bring their little ones were fine with it.

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  • We're having children at our wedding because why not?  lol

    We only have a few kiddos--6 to be exact.  We're inviting them and then leaving it up to their parents whether they want to bring them along or have a night out to themselves with a sitter.  At our venue if the child is 3 or under (which 5 of these will be) there is no charge per head.  Hooray!  Having said that, I would happily pay for each one of these kiddos because they are near and dear to us!
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