Ok, this is gonna be long ladies and I apologize in advance but I need some outside views on this situation from my fellow girls.
Ok, FI's real dad lives in TX, honestly, he's kind of an ass to put it bluntly. I've never met him (which disturbs me somewhat) but he's put Ray (FI) and Ryan (FI's brother) through hell so-to-speak. When he and their mom were together he didn't pay much attention to the boys and when he did EVERYTHING they did was not good enough. He made them work with no compensation or even a "thanks" it was just "you didn't do this or that good enough." He basically never uplifted the boys...ever. Well he ended up moving and divorcing their mom and my FMIL did her best to keep the boys visiting their father (he was in OK at the time) but he made NO effort. When they would go see him he'd leave them at home for hours upon hours and just never really cared.
So fast forward to now, Ryan (my FBIL) never talks to his dad. Ray has very bitter feelings for him obviously but he does talk to him on the phone every 3-4 weeks. At first, he wasn't going to tell him about the wedding and I'm fine with whatever decision he makes because there are bitter feelings there and I'm not going to come in between something I was never a part of to begin with. Plus, it's Ray's decision. Well, he did tell his dad about our wedding websites and his dad did look at them. 3 weeks or so after that they talked last night and his dad seemed impressed and made the comment that "I've got my shiit together" which means I'm a crazy planner (I already know this lol)
Anyways, Ray told me he did tell his dad more about the wedding last night and his dad offered to pay for our venue, he said "he didn't really know what he's supposed to do but he would be happy to help" Our venue is $1,000. It would REALLY help out but like I told Ray if he does pay (which I would appreciate and so would Ray) we would need to keep him in the loop a little bit because he'll be a part of the process. Ray's just not too sure about everything right now (it's still new) because his dad got married a second time without even telling the boys. That's where some of the bitterness comes from with the whole wedding thing. He's divorced since then but I understand where Ray is coming from.
So anyways I'm not sure what to do or go about this. I mostly just stay out of it because it's a Ray/his dad thing and I feel like I shouldn't get involved. But from my side of it, first, I'm really curious to meet his dad (just because I want to know the man that sort of raised them) and I dunno...any wedding help is nice obviously. BTW, my FMIL is amazing and re-married. Ray's stepdad is AWESOME.
Cliff notes: FI's dad has been a huge d**k in the past and FI hasn't really wanted to include him. He started to include him last night and his dad now has offered to pay for part of the wedding. I've never met him and am curious to more than anything. I'm not sure what to do or how to approach the situation or even approach FI.
Just need some feedback, thanks girls so much. And sorry that post is HUGE.